Strongest Team under the Heavens
by Tremor230
Summary: Rated M just in case. "Look underneath the underneath" is what a good ninja is supposed to remember, but what if Team 7 was not casual? what if Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto had planned everything from the beginning? thanks to several secrets sealed in the Forbidden Scroll team 7 now strive to become legendary! elements from several video games, Good!Sasuke, Strong!Team, maybe few OOC
1. Chapter 1

**I know I have said that I was making a Bayonetta cross-over, but few days ago this idea popped out and I couldn't stop thinking about it so I had to put it down, so please forgive me ^ ^.**

**Here are the details: Strong!Team 7 (NO-Godlike), Good!Sasuke, may contain Out Of Character moments if the need shows up, I'll try to not bash (But I may exaggerate few aspects of a character), I will try and be funny even if I admit that in my opinion making someone laugh is THE hardest thing a human being can accomplice.**

**Since this is in some ways a Pilot it wasn't proofread, suggestions are VERY well accepted, flamers will be ignored since I said from the beginning that this is an experiment I don't think there will be any need for you to write some.  
**

**Hope you enjoy, after I publish this I will work on the rest of my stories ( An explosive sensei is still on Hiatus until I find my muse ) **

" **You bastard"** - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything I used and will use in this story**

**Chapter 1: All a lie?! The cake too?**

**Konoha – ninja academy - team assignation day-**

It was a dull, boring and hot day in Konoha, as ninja were taking missions or coming back from one, civilians were on the streets of the village, chatting, buying or simply enjoying the clear sky of that particularly hot Monday.

While the whole village was swarming with activities, in a Ninja academy a teacher with a scar along his nose was speaking to his students for the last time before they will start their new lives as shinobi and kunoichi in their village.

Jumping over the usual description of the students, whose identities and appearances we all know you have already cemented in your brain, let's focus on the last row where we find a blond boy with whiskers marks on his cheeks wearing an ugly orange jumpsuit, his blue eyes almost closed in that pathetic struggle that was staying awake during the BORING lecture of his teacher Iruka Umino. Even if the light inside his eyes was telling that he was far from sleeping.

Near him stood a boy with an hair-cut resembling a duck butt ( but don't tell him that, a Katon to the face hurts like hell) with a blue shirt over white pants, he was brooding over something, but secretly stealing glances to the boy and girl sitting at his sides.

Finally the girl, she was wearing a red dress similar to a Qi-pao and black skin-thigh shorts, playing with her pink hair she was glancing at the brooding boy. Even if her stare seem to falter briefly from time to time.

"Finally all of you will be separated in a three-man team, beware because the other two will be your teammates for a long time, here is the list of the teams and their members" said Iruka, oblivious that three students were on the edge of their seats, giving him way more attention that they never had given him.

"blah, blah, blah...Yadda-yadda...Team 7 will be Sakura Haruno, Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto.." the teacher said

"HELL YEAH!" yelled the three Gennin, shocking everyone,

"W-What?" asked Iruka

"Finally! I was going crazy! Please tell me I can finally get out of this monstrosity!" yelled Naruto, rapidly discarding his kage-level **Henge **so to show his Real clothes, a black full leather coat with slightly brighter undulating vines on his squared shoulders, some equally dark and smooth metal plates peeked out while hugging the boy's breast and flanks, _some sort of armour _the others thought, equally dark pants and boots completing the outfit.

Curiously on his eyes stood the frame of a pair of sunglasses, but without the _Arms_, making the others wonder if he was using chakra to hold them in place.

"You are one to talk! You may had to play the dumb idiot, BUT I had to pretend to be an EMO! AN EMO! Me! Do you know how it hurts to my jaw to always scowl and brood?! I'll tell you. IT. IS. DEPRESSING!" yelled Sasuke, dropping the henge covering his true garment: long black pants and black long-sleeves shirt with the Uchiha crest on the back, under it some kind of skin-tight suit could be seen.

"Come on Guys! I had to act all fan-girl for over three years...THREE. YEARS! I was tired to always be like _Sasuke-kun!Sasuke-kun! _With all due respect 'suke-niisan, but it is annoying" said Sakura, her dress somehow _Rippling_ for an instant.

"What are you saying Forehead? That everything was a lie?" asked Ino

"Well DUH! We are like brothers in all but blood, so we wanted to end in the same team, it was only a matter of acting a little here and there, some well placed lies and few exams failed On Purpose and here we are!" said Naruto grinning at the class shocked faces.

"Na-Naruto-kun! W-What are Y-you saying?" said Hinata

"That's okay Hinata, there is no need for that anymore" said Sasuke

"...FINALLY! That stuttering was unnerving!" said Hinata, earning another fit of shock from everyone.

"Yeah I know, sorry for having you to do that, neechan" said Naruto

"That's fine 'ruto-kun, Neji was right saying that the best way for the others to believe you were a fool was to be _Oblivious _of a girl with a blatantly obvious crush on you," said the Hyuuga heiress

"Remember me to thank him when we meet, so sensei...who his our instructor?" asked Naruto

"Y-your instructor?...ah! Yes! He is Hatake Kakashi!" said Iruka, still a little put out about being fooled by three kids for years, those brats...Boy if he was proud of them!

"Hatake Kakashi? Did you have some info, Ruto?" asked Sasuke

"Yeah I have something, no problem...but he is chronically late, I don't think he will be here before two or so hours, wanna go eat something?" answered the blond, making the lenses of his "sun-glasses" appear with a _Flip! _sound

"I'm hungry too..it's Suke's turn to pay today" said Sakura leading the group out.

"Aye-aye! Can you please tell me why you two seem to become bottomless pits every time _I_ am the one to pay?" asked the last Uchiha LAUGHING!

It will take several minutes for the rest of the class to process what happened and stop trying to dispel the nonexistent Genjutsu they believed was in the class.

**Rooftop of the academy – three hours later**

Hatake Kakashi, a man with grey gravity defying hair and the face covered almost completely by a mask and his forehead protector, was waiting his students arrival and he was not happy, not in the slightest.

"My first impression... is that I absolutely HATE them! I came only two hours late this time and those three had the courage to have me wait! WHERE THE HELL ARE THEM!" Said Kakashi

"We were having launch sensei, but the restaurant was crowded...that and we kinda got lost on the road of life" said a female voice

"Well, just be sure that this won't become an habit" said Kakashi before going pale seeing no-one around

"Down here!" said smiling Sakura while sticking to the wall of the academy using her fingers and feet

"Wh-What? What kind of control do you have to do that? For a gennin just using his feet is hard!" yelled the scarecrow

"It is something more than mere chakra control, right Suke?" said Naruto shocking the sensei

"Yeah, we can do that too...but only in the _Normal ninja_ way of course" answered Sasuke as he and the blond were sitting on the railing on both sides of Kakashi

"H-how? When? Did you were already here?" stammered the man

"Yup! Do you see, sensei, let's just say that both me and my brother Naruto here are VERY good at concealing our presence" said the Uchiha

"Sakura! Come here, you are scaring our sensei!" said Naruto

"Okay!" yelled the girl, jumping from the wall to the roof-top in an inhuman display of agility.

Once the three were seated on the floor in front of him, Kakashi cleared his throat to fight the urge to just bolt down the stairs and run away, but he had to take this team.

For now at least.

"Ookay...Let's start with something simple like introducing yourselves." It was a simple question...then why he was a little afraid of the answer?

"Why don't you go first Sensei? So we can know what do you want to hear." said Sasuke.

"Yeah, between us you are the stranger here" Sakura added, making several tick marks appear on Kakashi's head

"_Stranger? I'm Kakashi Hatake, dammit! I have legions of fan-girls swooning all over me, people writing Fanfictions pairing me with smoking-hot babes and bingo books selling just because there is my photo on it! and they say I'm a stranger!"_ thought the masked shinobi.

"Okay then." Kakashi sighed dramatically, before a gleam appeared on his only visible eye, "I'm Hatake Kakashi. My interests? You are a little too young to hear them, and my dislikes? Well, sorry but they are none of your business.

My dreams for the future?…that's a secret" a tense silence reigned on that roof.

"_He is not going to tell anything...well, let's see if I can help him spit something out_" thought Naruto as his eyes narrowed before his glasses snapped closed.

"Are you sure is safe to keep this act up and deny us any information?" the blond asked fixing his stare on the scarecrow.

"Come on guys, as I said, you are fairly too young to hear about what an adult Ninja do outside missions" he joked while unknown to him, inside the blond's head, a special "something" was processing data and analyzing him.

_Analysis..._

_Analysis...completed!_

_Subject: Hatake Kakashi._

_Psychological profile: by the personal data earned before he seem to have a Sharingan covered by his Hitai-ate, memento of his old team-mate Obito (status:deceased) Chronically late unless in life or death situations, Heavy fan of Icha-Icha Paradise's books, by body analysis a book seem to be on the back pocket of his pants, fanatic of teamwork._

_Characteristics: Lazy, good at concealing emotions, strong-willed, jutsu specialist._

_Beware: he will try and change subject and/or avoid questions, attack his pride to earn a reaction._

_Personality:_

_Alpha:0/3_

_Beta:2/3_

_Gamma:1/3_

_Do you wish to use the pheromones? s/N _

The smirk on Naruto's face started unnerving Kakashi.

"Look sensei, even if I understand that you don't want to share information with us, and of the personal kind nonetheless, we can't completely trust you just because someone says we have to, we need to know with who we are gonna spend several years until graduation, but since its obvious that you wont talk I think that a change of instructor should be necessary, I'm truly sorry, but please understand" Naruto reasoned.

"What!?" Kakashi couldn't believe what the blond was saying..They don't trust him? Their sensei? HELL NO!, He won't let something as trivial as few answers stain his honour as sensei and Shinobi of Konoha!, he was a professional ninja, Dammit! The Hokage gave him a team because he was the best! Because he is _Sharingan no Kakashi! The man of 1000 jutsus!_

"Do you want answers? Fine, I can't see why I should not tell you," Kakashi said angrily.

"I enjoy… reading Icha-Icha, Drinking, Icha-Icha, learn new jutsus, Icha-Icha...Oh! And I like Icha-Icha books too." said Hatake making the gennin sweat-drop.

"As for the dislikes...I hate when the members of a team doesn't work together, that's why I failed practically every team I had before this and of course Yaoi...My dream..being the protagonist of one of Icha-icha movies" Kakashi finished...before his jaw dropped down, almost breaking his mask, once the kids started laughing

"Ruto, your augmentations are amazing, he practically spit out everything" said Sakura between fit of laughter.

"What are you talking about? I simply choose to talk, what's so funny in that?" asked Hatake

"You see, sensei, I have some special abilities I obtained after a special surgical operation, one of those abilities, and my favourite by the way, is the **Social Enhancer** , or the emotional Intelligence Enhancer precisely. This baby can manipulate practically everyone, it doesn't matter how good you are at lying or at reasoning, I only need you to talk a little and the super computer inside my brain will analyze voice pattern, body language, sweating ratio, body heat and such, then with all those information it will give me a detailed, and almost perfect, psychological description of the target and the best part is that if I want, it creates special pheromones tailored on the target so to make him feel at ease and making him talk...just like you" said Naruto grinning at the awed face of Kakashi.

"You..are practically the wet dream of the T&I department, you know that?" asked Kakashi

"Yeah, I have already talked to Ibiki, I will work there on my free time" answered Naruto

"Can we go on?" asked Sasuke

"Sorry, well, since _Apparently_ the dossier about this team is completely made out of lies thanks to you three little brats, let's start all over, you are the first, duck boy" said Kakashi smirking at the fuming Uchiha

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF MY HAIR IS LIKE THAT!...by the way... My name is Uchiha Sasuke, I like my brother Naruto and my sister Sakura, tomatoes and training, my dislikes are fan-girls, ass kissing fouls and when I'm out of energy, My dream is to find Itachi and ask him why he killed my whole clan, and should the answer being unsatisfactory..kill him and mount his head on the hall of my compound, that and become the strongest Nano-ninja of the world before make the Uchiha clan reborn" said Sasuke.

"Nano-ninja? Out of energy?...whatever, you pinky are the next" said Kakashi

"Ha-ha, good one I had never heard that...whatever, I...aah screw it! WE are Sakura Haruno, we like Training, green tea, Our brothers Naruto and Sasuke, We dislike loud noises, perverts and when people underestimate us for our aspect, our dream is to become a kunoichi even stronger than Tsunade of the Sannin and being an icon of female strength...by the way we use the _We _instead of _I _thanks to our ability that we unlocked thanks to Naruto-niichan"

"O...Okay, this team is getting always more strange, and you, my _dear_ manipulator, what about you?" said Kakashi pointing at Naruto.

"Hehehe, I am Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze, I like my brother Sasuke and my sister Sakura, ramen, my augmentations, screwing with people minds using the social manipulator, I hate those damned three minutes for the ramen to be ready, I hate as well when something stain my jacket or when people hate me for what I have no control about, my dream for the future is to be the strongest ninja of the world and possibly to make augmentations famous all over the world" said the blond

"Namikaze?..like..Minato-sensei?" asked Kakashi

"He is his son actually" said Sasuke

"We can't understand how people didn't notice it before...he is a damned chibi version of the Yondaime for Kami's sake!" said Sakura shaking her head

"Well.. since you seem perfectly fine in teamwork, let's just say that I will only test you on your strength, so I will have an idea about what to do with you...but can you tell me how did you three change so much?" asked Kakashi

"Do you remember the whole Mizuki incident?" asked Naruto

"Yes, He had somehow talked a student into stealing the forbidden scroll" answered the scarecrow

"I was that student, and other than the shadow clone, that I taught to my bro and sis by the way, I found three things that I used to make us stronger, so now we wish to surpass the three Sannin" said Naruto

"What were those _Things_ if I can ask?" asked Kakashi

"For me, I found the augmentations and a guide written by a certain group called _Sarif industries_ about how to surgically implant them, Sasuke used a lot of his clan money to ask Tsunade Senju to operate on me, luckily she had an huge, and I mean HUGE, debt that she was desperate to pay, so in exchange of the payment she operates on me and now I have a lot of kick-ass gadget and secret tricks, but if you want to know more you have to wait tomorrow." said the blond

"And for the others?"

"Naruto gave Us a symbiont named Venom that thanks to the Kyuubi's Chakra it is now completely fused with us making us stronger, more agile and faster...yes we all know about the Kyuubi but we don't care, Naruto is our brother, with or without that huge fur-ball" said Sakura making Kakashi smile under his mask.

"And you?" he asked to Sasuke

"Naruto gave me a _Special suit_, but I wont say anything before tomorrow" said Sasuke smirking

"Veeery funny... okay I'll wait you at training ground 7 at eight sharp, and don't have breakfast because you may throw-up otherwise" said Kakashi with an eye-smile

"He is lying, we can have breakfast" said Naruto smirking

"Damn you!, you living lie detector!" yelled Kakashi dramatically pointing at the boy.

"Well, let's go back to the Uchiha compound, I need a bath and some sleep" said the blond, the others nodded.

The three jumped on the railing, ready to jump down.

"What are you doing?" asked Kakashi

"Taking the shortcut of course" said Naruto jumping.

But instead of falling like a rock, Naruto's body generated a crackling aura of energy slowing him down until he reached the floor of the academy before sprinting in a mad dash.

"That **Icarus Landing System** is just amazing, I wonder if I can add one to the suit" said Sasuke making a mask with a red glass panel over his eyes covering his head before jumping down and creating a rather big crater once he landed, incredibly he was unscathed as he immediately started running at an insane speed towards his clan house.

"Show off! Well sensei, we have to go too" said Sakura making her dress shift in a black, thigh, form-fitting suit covering her whole body with a white spider on the back and two big white spots where her eyes were, as she clenched her fist a rope of some sort shoot out of the back of her hand.

"This is our web, sensei, consider us a spider in human flesh 'kay? bye bye!" said the girl before she jumped, starting web-swinging away.

"Well...I have nothing else to do now..I may as well _Gently_ ask the Hokage why I wasn't informed that Sensei's son was still alive" said Kakashi before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

For the rest of the day the screaming voices of Kakashi and Hiruzen could be heard from all over the village as the _Discreet _talking with the aged Hokage about team 7 was taking place.

**The next day – Training ground 7 – 10:30 am**

"So I was like -_you can't do that or we will blow up!_- and guess what? He still used that **Fireball jutsu** of his!" said Naruto to a bun-haired girl that couldn't help but laugh at his story

"Hahaha! You and your brother sure like playing with fire!" said the girl laughing again

"HOY! Here you are! We were sick of waiting ya!" yelled Sakura

"Sorry! I had offered some breakfast to Tenten and we took more time than I though, is he here yet?" asked Naruto scratching the back of his head

"No Ruto, our dear _Sensei_ is a little late...of two hours and half" said Sasuke showing up eating a tomato

"Luckily we didn't took seriously both being here at eight or skipping breakfast, by the way guys, this pretty hime here is Tenten, we kinda...go out together" said the blond taking a playful slap to the arm for the _Hime_ part.

"Going out? Since when?" asked Sakura

"Two weeks, he told me about the whole lie, even if I was interested in him since the beginning, when he showed me the augmentations... I had to concede defeat and _Fall_" she said latching to his arm.

"That's ...soo good to hear..." said Sasuke in a somehow forced smile

"Truly..We are so _happy_ to hear that!" said Sakura strangely struggling to say _Happy_

"Well, I have to go, good bye and good luck with your training!" Tenten said before giving him a peck on the cheek and dashing away.

"If she ever brake your heart we are gonna rip hers out and scatter her limbs all over the village" muttered Sakura while smiling and waiving at the girl.

"Same here Ruto, if she treat you as something to use then discard I'll personally make her blood rain on the village and burn the remains to ashes" muttered Sasuke while watching her retreating form.

"Damn, you are a little too protective, you know?" said Naruto

"No-one fucks with our little Naru-chan...and then again, you two had sent that poor guy in the rehabilitation ward last year" said Sakura

"He was still eating using a straw last time I checked, but this will teach him to not flirt with our sister, right Sasuke?" said Naruto

"Hn!" the dark haired boy said proudly.

"He was only asking us some directions" said the girl with a sweat-drop.

"Yo! Sorry if I'm late, but an horde of black, zombie cats passed in front of me and I had to take the longer way to come here while helping an old lady crossing the road after saving an orphanage that caught fire" said Kakashi

"Yeah yeah... has the last Icha-Icha book been published yet?" asked Naruto

"Yes, I was just waiting the store to open so to be the first and kinda end up late by reading it on the spot...did you...used that again?" he trailed off in realization.

"Yup!"

"DAMN YOU!" yelled Kakashi

"So, what's this test about?" asked Sakura sitting on one of the posts in the middle of the ground.

"I have two bells with me, your objective is to take them...normally this should serve to determine how well you work as a team with the false notion that the one of you without the bell is sent back to the academy, but since you three **obviously** work perfectly as a team, I will only test your overall abilities" said the scarecrow ( sorry, I love this nickname)

"When do we start?" asked Sasuke, his helmet on and the red visor shining coldly in the morning light.

"What about...NOW!" said Kakashi as the three disappeared in a burst of speed.

"Good, at least none of them challenged me heads down"

**Training ground 7 – somewhere in the foliage-**

"So, what's the plan?" asked Sakura

"I'm analyzing ground and objective, I should have several plans in a sec!" said Naruto

"Same here, the _Tactic visor_ of the nanosuit is scanning everywhere" said Sasuke

"That's cool...can we crush his skull now?" asked Sakura

"Fine...have fun, we will cover you" said Naruto sealing away his coat.

"YEAH!" yelled Sakura as her body transformed in a more _demonic_ form, gone was the fairly frail-looking girl in a black bodysuit with a white spider on her back in favour of a wider, masked body with more muscle than even Gai will ever dream to have, pretty feminine hands turned in large claws out of an horror movie, pretty rosy mouth now filled with WAY more teeth than a human being should have, the several inches long tongue and jaw size were the icing on the cake of the whole appearance of what Kakashi was now facing.

"HOLY SHIT!" said the poor man as the Female symbiont came crushing down like a missile creating an huge crater in a deafening boom.

"**What's wrong Sensei? Did We have something on our face?**" asked Sakura flipping her long tongue, her demonic voice sending a shiver over the man's spine.

Even if that long tongue was giving him few _interesting_ mental images.

"So, what's that? A combat form of sort?" he asked

"**Exactly**" she said jumping forward, shooting a web to Kakashi's leg once the man jumped again to dodge and making him crush against a tree.

"Can I take part too?" asked Naruto showing that both his arms were completely made out of some sort of metal

"What have you done to your body?" asked Kakashi

"Me?...I evolved" said the blond trying punching him, but catching instead a **Kawarimi**

The log that was _sacrificed _and the tree immediately behind exploded into a fine dust once the fist covered in cracking energy hit it.

"What a punch! He must beGACK!" the kick from behind took the jounin by surprise.

"Never let your guards down, sensei!" said a voice

"Sasuke?" asked Kakashi

"The one and only" he said...turning invisible?

"How?" asked the man

"Ruto gave me something called _Nano-suit_ it makes me stronger, faster, as well as turning me invisible or hardening my skin so much that even explosion barely affect me, it even as a system that analyze the environment and one to see in the dark!" he said with a little too much enjoyment.

"Sounds like something out of a video-game" said Kakashi finally pin-pointing the Uchiha location and trying to punch the boy.

Only to almost crush his hand against Sasuke's torso.

"_Maximum Armour_" Sasuke could hear from the suit while he was sent skipping back

"Ouch! What the Hell!" said Kakashi

"Behind you, sensei!" yelled Naruto while attacking with a pair of black blades

_Clang!_ Both weapons stopped against a kunai, the terrain cracking under the pressure of the attack.

"Wait! Those blades..came out of your arms!?" asked Kakashi

"**Pay attention!**" yelled Sakura as her fist landed on her Sensei's side, the cracking of several ribs could be clearly heard as Kakashi was sent flying in the forest near the training ground.

"Enough! They may have some cool tricks, but I have experience and I will show them why I was an ANBU captain!" yelled angrily Kakashi uncovering his Sharingan and disappearing.

"Do you think he is getting mad?" asked Naruto

"**We hopes so, It's funnier when they are mad**" said Sakura

"Well...he is under me now so I think you should run away" casually say Sasuke as a pair of hands came out of the ground grabbing the boy's ankles and forcing him underground until only the head remained out

"**That's cool**" said Sakura watching the boy sinking

"Really...do you need an hand Suke?" asked Naruto

"...Nah"said the boy

"Shouldn't you two fight me?" asked Kakashi in a deadpan

"**Normally, yes...but since we are not really here...**" said Sakura as both her and the blond burst into smoke

"Kawarimi and shadow clone combo, good tactic" said Sasuke before letting his head sink in the ground and resurfacing several feet away, dusting his suit as an alarm could be heard.

"Time's Up!" yelled Kakashi signalling the end of the test.

"So..did we pass?" asked Sasuke

"Well, you didn't took my bells so...wait! Where are the bells and...and...GYAAAAAAH!" Kakashi's girly scream shocked the trees.

"Are you looking for this?" asked Naruto holding an Icha-Icha book

"**And these?**" asked Sakura holding the two bells.

"When? Who? How? WHYYY!?" asked Kakashi crying a waterfall

"We took those things at the beginning, while you were trying to defend yourself from Sakura both me and Naruto were cloaked, so we took our time for a little pickpocketing" said Sasuke

"I understand, I have to say that you could pull it off only thanks to the surprise factor, but those powers of yours are interesting. Congratulations! starting tomorrow we will took missions and training, I want you to not be dependent on those powers too much" said Kakashi snatching the book away from the blond hands

"Okay, there is anything else you wish to know?" asked Naruto

"Why lying? Couldn't you just manipulate the whole exam and still act like friends?" asked Kakashi

"We thought about that, but after the whole Uchiha massacre we feared that if Suke acted all happy the Hokage could have forced him into some therapy, keeping him out of the whole ninja program" said Sakura transforming back

"How did you three started this whole thing?" asked Kakashi

"The night of the Massacre I was running away from a mob when I stumbled on Itachi while he was leaving the Uchiha district, he was drenched in blood so I go the opposite direction and found Sasuke crying in a corner, so I took him to my apartment" said Naruto

"While they were going back they found us, we ran away from our house after our parents didn't want us to enter the ninja academy, so Ruto-niichan took us too and we spent the whole night and the following day talking" said Sakura

"Those two helped me, they showed me that I could still have a family and that by sulking and closing myself to the world I couldn't bring my mother back...they even promised me to help me finding Itachi and take my revenge when the time comes" said Sasuke bumping fists with Naruto

"And with a little help from what Ruto found in the Forbidden Scroll, we now wish to surpass the legendary three" said Sakura

"I have to say that I like you, tell you what, I have several friends that owed me one or two favours, you wish to surpass the Sannin trio? Very well! I'll help you, but be ready to beg for death since I will train you so hard that even the Shinigami will feel sorry for you" said Kakashi showing his patented eye-smile.

"We like it that way" said Sakura

"I have to go, I promise Tenten-chan to help her training her accuracy" said Naruto

"Tenten? Isn't she that girl from Gai's team?...so you like older women eh? Good boy" said Kakashi making the boy blush

"SO WHAT!" he asked

"Dobe, you better remember our pact" said Sasuke

"What pact?" asked Kakashi

"We promised that we will lose our virginity between us...in a threesome" said casually Sakura

_Thud!_

"Sensei? Sensei are you okay?" asked Sasuke

"I think he fainted" said Naruto probing the man with a stick.

"Aaanh!...hehehe" moaned Kakashi while down, face-first in a pool of his own blood coming out from his nose.

"Pervert" sighed the three boys leaving him in the training ground.

**Several weeks later**

Did you know the term "Hell on Earth?" perfect, because that it's just the right term to describe the weeks of training Team 7 was undergoing, it turns out that _The friends_ Kakashi was talking about were a Taijutsu fanatic freak named Gai Maito that thought that strapping the equivalent of an elephant on each limb and climb the Hokage monument was a good warming.

If not for the Fox, the symbiont Venom and the healing program of the Nanosuit those three victims could have been dead after the first day.

Next went the gorgeous, and absolutely sexy Genjutsu Mistress Yuhi Kurenai and her friend Anko, the two women trained the group on casting and dispelling Illusions (they found out that the Fox chakra was too _dense_ for the regular ones, problem solved when Naruto learned to cast by himself the ones that usually required two or more casters, all for the sheer joy of Kurenai) with Anko helping in agility and in speed training.

"We liked the Genjutsu training, if not for the fact that both our teachers kept harassing you two" said Sakura trying to make her legs work again after a _Light_ spar against Gai.

"You are just jealous" said Naruto waiting for his ribs to pop-out in place.

"You are all fired up just because they flashed the both of us one or two times" said Sasuke

"Anko-sensei kept grabbing you guys arms from behind with the excuse of correcting your hand-seals, with only her fish-net suit on, and she wasn't wearing a bra last time we checked"

"I actually saw under Kurenai-sensei dress a few times in a row now that I think about it" said Naruto earning a disbelieving groan from Sasuke

"Did you forget our promise?" asked the girl

"Yeah-yeah, the threesome, we remember, don't worry" said Sasuke for the tenth time that day.

She was really looking forward to it it seems.

"OKAY MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS! OUR 3 MINUTES OF YOUTHFUL PAUSE ARE OVER! GET ON THE WEIGHTS AND LET'S DO FEW LAPS AROUND KONOHA ON OUR HANDS!" yelled the green tights wearing man

"YOSH GAI SENSEI! HOW MANY LAPS WILL WE DO?" asked a boy named Rock Lee dressed like a Mini-me of Gai

"ONLY 300, LEE! REMEMBER THAT TEAM 7 IS ONLY DISCOVERING NOW THEIR FLAMES OF YOUTH!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

A cliff with splashing waters and a sunset appeared out of nowhere behind the two hugging men, almost blinding the others present.

Fortunately the other members of Lee's team were somehow immune to it after several times it occurred and had helped Team 7 to snap out of the shocking sight.

Finally it comes the Ninjutsu training where Kakashi and Asuma had the occasion to shine, and showing off a little if the shower of confetti that they summoned every time the two of them started was of any indication.

The news of the three of them knowing the **Shadow clone jutsu** was the green light for the instructors to bring out their most cruel and sadistic side by working to the ground clones and originals, even Sarutobi was an accomplice by closing an eye whenever a particular EVIL idea of training was presented to him for approval.

"I swear that I will never tell him the secret to beat the paper-work, DO YOU HEAR ME JIJI? I'LL NEVER TELL YOU! NEVEEERR!" yelled Naruto making the Hokage chuckle at the preposterous audacity of that statement.

"You? Knowing the secret of how defeat paper-work? Poor boy, so young and yet so disillusioned" Joked Sarutobi.

Several days later the old man will learn that Team 7 was in fact in possession of that secret, and no matter what he was ready to give them or how many times he threatened them to send the whole team to Ibiki, those little three mouths were always shut about it.

"Damn those brats! And damn my stupid mouth!" muttered to himself the old leader while the secretary deposited another large pile of papers on his desk. Sweet revenge.

**Forest around Konoha – a month later**

"_Here's Scarecrow, Team 7 do you hear me?_" said a voice from the radio around three gennin's neck

"Spider-lady, We are in position" said a female voice

"Nano-ninja, I'm ready to jump the target" said a male one

"Cyber-fox, the target seem wary of our presence" a blond boy said in his radio while watching a striped cat named Tora that was watching around cautiously.

"I still don't understand, My father had to catch that cat when he was a gennin, and his father before him, how come this mission is still around?" asked Kakashi from his hiding spot, not stopping from reading his book.

"The cat is _Torakushi mihakawa XV _direct descendant of _Torakushi mihakawa I _aka_ The devil spawn,_ at the time the cat of the daughter of the wind Daimyo, from his ancestors to this one, the **catch Tora the cat** mission is considered a method to test the Team answer to stressful situations as well as self-control since more than once a gennin tried to kill the beast, legends says that _Tora VIII_ had almost make the third Hokage insane when he was still a student" said Naruto

"How did you know that?" asked Sasuke

"I asked few people at the mission center as well as few retired ninja around the village" said the blond

"_Interesting, get ready to take him_" said the electronic voice of Kakashi

As the cat sprinted in a mad running towards the exit of the forest, Naruto dropped down of the tree punching the ground and shaking a large area, making Tora do a 180° motion to move away.

"Suke! Your way!" he yelled

"Got it! **Katon:****Housenka no Jutsu (Fire Element: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique)**" said Sasuke launching a volley of small fireballs he sent flying in an unpredictable manner assaulting the poor cat and burning a big part of the forest.

The animal came out of the fire as a screaming fireball before Sakura's webbing enclosed it in a cocoon, leaving out only the head

"Good job team 7! sure the fire was a little an Overkill, but we have a new record in capturing this little monster" said proudly Kakashi

"Let's take this demon back, we can't wait to see the Daimyo wife crushing it in an hug!" said Sakura

**Konoha – Hokage tower – Sarutobi office**

"Tora! Sweety come to mommy!" said the huge woman as she crushed the poor cat in an iron-bending hug

"I almost feel sorry for that cat...almost" said Naruto

"Very well, now for your next D rank.." asked Sarutobi

"Jiji...what about a C rank?" asked the blond

"Will you tell me how to beat this abomination?" he asked pointing at the stack of paper

"Nope" answered Naruto

"Then forget about it" smirked Sarutobi

"Ruto..Did I never told you how the civilian council keep kissing my ass? Do you think they will help us if I whine a little?" asked Sasuke mischievously

"We should try...Hey! Ask them while faking some tears, I bet they will storm here yelling about the injustice of hindering you" said Sakura

"FINE! Here is a mission you insolent brats! Just keep those idiots out of my office" said Hiruzen tossing them a scroll

"Protection of a bridge builder? Hokage-sama...isn't this a little..boring?" asked Kakashi

"Do you prefer catching Tora again?" asked Sarutobi while signaling a man to enter the room

"Hi I'm Tazuna...are you sure those brats will protect me? They are..." said the old man in a drunken slur.

Before two boys and a girl pinned him to the wall with webbing on his four limbs, a kunai to his throat and a black blade pointing at a _delicate_ area.

"Are what?" asked Sakura in a sweet smile coated in killer-intent

"Strong, beautiful and incredibly cool?" ended the man

"Good answer...okay Team 7, pack whatever you need for a month out of the village and meet me tomorrow at 0600 at the gate" said Kakashi in an eye-smile

"Before you go sensei, take this" said Naruto giving Kakashi a scroll

"What's this?" he asked

"Since you moved to live with us and earned our respect, we decided to give you a present" said Sasuke

"We gave back the scroll with the jutsus, but everything else inside is now ours" whispered Sakura

"I can live with that" he whispered back

**Konoha – the next day 8:00 A.m**

The trio found the sleeping form of Tazuna under a tree with several empty sake bottles.

"Let me guess, he is here since six doesn't he?" asked Sasuke

"Probably, but I still don't understand why Kashi-sensei said to come here at six if we were the ones to actually waking him up at seven...WAKE UP!" said Naruto yelling the last part in the old man ears

"Aaaaargh!"

"Good, now that you are awake we only need Kaka-sensei to show up...where is he?" asked Sakura

"He said that he would reach us after wearing _It_" said Sasuke

"What did you gave to that sensei of yours?" asked Tazuna

"You'll see" said Naruto

Their missing sensei came few seconds later, wearing his present.

In a thundering noise and using the thrusting force of three cylinders mounted on each hip of his armor, rotated to point upward and spitting out a bluish flame, a man was performing what could be called a _power slide _on his knees, a gleefully scream of "WEEEEEEEH!" signaling that the unknown armored man was having the time of his life.

Once he stopped his slide he performed an little jump, landing on his feet after a brief pirouette.

The armor itself was light grey in color with blue and gold details on the back, shoulders, legs and hips, the same cylinders that were on his hips could be found on the wrists, hands and feet of the suit, on the man's back stood a circular part that was momentarily open outward expelling steam, probably in order to cool down the suit.

The helmet was equally grey with a thin antenna on the right side, a wide, blue visor was on the lower side of the head, on the neck area the word "ARS" could be seen.

"I bet you like it, am I right sensei?" asked Naruto

The helmet slid open revealing a grinning Kakashi still wearing his mask, but with an eye-patch covering his eye

"THAT WAS AMAZING! after you gave me this I passed the whole day to familiarize with the suit and still I can't stop myself from using that sliding thing!" said giggling Kakashi

"_Yeah, who's the super-ninja now? ME!_" were his thoughts as he was imaging himself defeating hordes of enemies and receiving harems of babes as payment for his greatness.

"You know...maybe you are a good bunch of ninja after all" said Tazuna

"Thank you, now let's go" said Kakashi closing the helmet and covering himself in an henge showing his old appearance.

**Several hours later**

"Ok-Ok i'll talk!" said a trembling Tazuna held upside-down by a web of the demon-looking Sakura

"**You better! Those two were missing-nins! what the Hell were they doing here?**" growled the transformed pinkette

During their trip they stumbled upon a strange-looking puddle, obliviously an illusion considering the lack of rain and the heat of the season, once they were near enough two masked nins rushed out, trying to kill the old man using chained gauntlets.

The last thing each one saw was Sasuke's arm passing through his torso for the smaller one and Naruto's hand grabbing the other's head and rapidly twisting cranium and spine several times, earning numerous _crack!_ Sounds.

"I'm..I'm working on a bridge...It-It will help us getting free from Gato...that bastard midget is strangling us with taxes and his tugs raiding the village every now and then, that's why those two were after me...I am too dangerous for his trading affairs!" rumble out tazuna losing control of his guts...and being upside-down didn't make that a good thing.

" This is easily an A-rank mission...why did you lie?" asked Naruto

"I have not enough money for an higher rank! A C-rank was already a pain to pay!" he answered

"Let him go Sakura" said Kakashi

"Hai!" answered the now normal-looking girl

"Let's go, you have a bridge to build" said Sasuke

"You...you'll help us?" asked Tazuna

"Yes...you have no idea what Ruto will do if we don't finish this mission...and I'd like to not being completely painted pink..again" said Sasuke

"I'm not apologizing" answered Naruto leading the group

**Boat – near the bridge**

"By the way, sensei, can I ask you something?" whispered Naruto

"Sure, tell me" Kakashi whispered back

"How did you managed to have all that people training us? Isn't it against the rules?"

"Yes and No...they actually trained you AFTER their scheduled training with their team and they won't get paid for that, I had Asuma helping you with the treat of me telling Kurenai of his collection of Icha-Icha he keep sealed under his bed, as for Kurenai...well she don't want anyone to know she is that mysterious author of those yaoi books that are so famous in Konoha..Gai, well Gai was the easier one, I just put _My team_ and _Flames of Youth _in the same sentence and he practically begged me" said Kakashi

"And Anko-san?" asked Sakura

"Actually? I don't even take her in consideration...she just presented herself once Kurenai told her what she was doing" said Kakashi rubbing the back of his head

Once the boat hit the land a whistling sound caught them by surprise, jumping down they saw a huge blade pass where their heads were few instants before and ending its course on a tree, after that a man appeared standing on the blade

"Zabuza, The demon of the hidden mist...I should have know that the mist around the boat wasn't natural" said Kakashi, freeing his sharingan while still hidden by the henge.

"Sharingan no Kakashi...what a beautiful foe to have before a kill, and I have to say that your team is something interesting, withstanding my killer-intent at this young age" said Zabuza in a smirk

"Killer intent? That? You never had Sakura around during that time of the month...a daily knocking at the Death's door that's what it felt like" said Naruto shivering at the memory

"We weren't that bad!" yelled Sakura

Sasuke simply gave her an "are you kidding?" look

"Poor guys...I didn't envy you" said Zabuza, somehow knowing that lingering fear.

"Shall we begin?" asked kakashi

"Yes! Show me that famous eye of yours!" said Zabuza waving his sword wildly

"Oh! I will show you that and MUCH more!" said Kakashi grinning before dropping the henge and sprinting towards the disbelieving man.

"What-what are you?" he asked

"One hell of a ninja!" answered Kakashi

**End of the chapter**

**Next chapter: a small flashback about the transformation our three heroes underwent and then the rest of the arc.**

**Okay! This new experiment ends here, for now, here are few information to help you understand the whole situation:**

**I went along the Canon wave arc because I think it represent an important point of the story, here we see a part of the effective power of the Fox...that and I like Zabuza, he is cool ^ ^.**

**Naruto-Jensen: same modifications from the game Deus Ex Human Revolution, he is not god-like since he can still harmed by jutsus, hand-to-hand only if the foe is strong enough ( from Gai Upward talking power-wise)**

**Sakura-Venom: she is not god-like because the symbiont ( and since they are fused permanently it means Sakura too) is weak against fire and sound based attacks.**

**This was the hardest since I couldn't find a good enough videogame in my opinion, the choice was between Venom and Bayonetta, I chose Venom because I found (but not read) several Fanfiction with a Venom!Naruto so I wanted to try something new, as for the way she talk I have recently saw again the first Ghost-rider movie and the Legion speech inspired me since now inside her there are: Sakura, Inner-Sakura and Venom so she is...well, Many. It should count as a videogame crossover since there is the game ****Ultimate **_**Spider-Man.**_

_**Sasuke-Nanosuit: the very same suit from Crysis 1 and 2, since I loved the game I tought it could be good. He is not god-like because a strong enough Raiton will leave him without energy until the battery fills up again, and he need the armor mode to withstand the stronger hits ( they don't have the K-volt gun so let's say the effect is similar please?)**_

_**Kakashi- Vanquish ARS suit: Well, since I built a strong team I felt the sensei was in need of a little power-up too, and then again, that suit is awesome so why not? He is not godlike because the suit will absorb damages until it over-heat then it will enter bullet-time for few seconds before stopping to cool down, and even if he could use wind-based chakra to speed-up the cooling he still will be without defenses.**_

_**As always in this cases, tell me if I should go on, if not, feel free to tell me since as any good experiment if it doesn't work, It simply WON'T work.**_

_**Review and follow if you wish for it to continue.**_

_**Tremor230...peace and prosperity.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Another one just for you! You guys really like my stories HURRAY! ^^ Is It wrong for me to dream one day to see my stories on T#Tropes? Just saying ^ ^. please enjoy another Chapter of the adventures of our dear Team 7!**

**some infos: Pairing**

**Naru/Ten**

**Sasu/Haku**

**Saku/...Shino and Neji ( why only a man has to have more than one lover? ^^)**

" **You bastard"** - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

**Changelog: I had to change Shikamaru's fight because I need Kankurou in the finals...I just forget to change this chapter BEFORE posting the new one, I'm sorry for the confusion ^^**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything I used and will use in this story**

**Chapter 2 : Kick-ass Team 7: The Origins of the Coolest Guys Evah!11!1!1**

**Wave – lake near the bridge**

WHAM! With another powerful punch that nearly shattered his blade Zabuza was sent flying back.

"What's wrong Zabu-chan? It was only a lovely peck...Did I give you Boo-Boo?" asked Kakashi

"How dare you! I have not a fucking super-suit helping me! Stop being a Mary-sue and fight me like a man!" yelled the enraged Demon of the Mist

"So after he found you, he took you as his apprentice?" asked Sakura at a tied up Haku.

They had found her watching Kakashi's fight in order to rescue Zabuza in case he needed support...only to have an Invisible Naruto catching her and immobilizing her, but what was making Zabuza furious was the fact that Sasuke was mercilessly hitting on her...and she was crumbling DAMMIT!

"So finally our dear Suke has a girlfriend!" chanted Naruto ignoring the enraged roar of the girl's Pseudo-father.

"SO WHAT! The whole avenger thing was an act! So stop spoiling my moment!" yelled the crimson-faced Uchiha

"Come on guys stop it!" said Sakura

"ENOUGH! I don't care about you Kakashi! No-one can do that to my little girl! THE UCHIHA WILL DIEEE!" yelled Zabuza dashing towards the raven-haired boy forgetting the sword in his mad run

"Zabuza! Calm down!" said the scarecrow blocking Zabuza in a Full Nelson

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO SO I CAN TEAR OFF HIS BALLS AND FORCE FED THEM TO HIM!" Zabuza yelled moving frantically, ninja training completely forgotten.

"Zabuza-sama! Please calm down!" Haku said positioning between the enraged _Father_ and the quite scared boy

"I'm serious about her, I swear!" Sasuke said hastily

"You are not good enough for her!" he snorted in response

"You said that the other six times too! And one was the son of a Daimyo!"

"Men are pigs! And I will be dead before some filthy boy ever touches you!" said Zabuza crossing his arms

"Aren't you here to kill me?" asked Tazuna

"**SHUT UP!**" yelled Team 7 plus assassins

"Sorry" answered the bridge builder

"Did you like her?" asked Zabuza glaring at the Uchiha

"Yes" answered Sasuke

"Are you serious about it?"

"Sure" answered the boy

"IF ever...Will you respect her?" asked Zabuza

"Yes"

"And protect her?"

"I will."

"And make her happy?"

"Yes"

"...And fuck her?" the Demon asked rapidly

"Of course I will!...OH FUCK!" Said Sasuke realizing the mistake

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Yelled Zabuza attacking again

"AAAAAAAHH!" yelled Kakashi

"AAAAAH!" yelled Team 7 running away

"DDDDIIIEEEEEE!" yelled Zabuza.

**Tazuna's home – two hours later**

A bruised and tired Team 7 entered the house dragging a tied up and gagged Zabuza glaring daggers at both Haku and Sasuke while the two were happily chatting together.

"Well...It could have gone wrong in a lot of ways, at least once Zabuza will calm down we will be able to talk a little" said Kakashi scratching his sore jaw, an enraged father can have a mean right hook.

"Wrong? like what? A battle where he would have trapped you in a water prison, forcing me and Sasuke to act a **kage bushin** distraction and then a **shadow shuriken technique** with me hidden in the shadow of said weapon so to distract Zabuza and free you?" asked Naruto, accepting the ice-bag Tsunami, Tazuna's daughter, gave him for his black eye.

"Not exactly" said Kakashi

"Yeah, as if something like that could really happen" said Sakura still limping after the beating Zabuza gave her and her team.

"True, so what now?" asked Haku

"Since you two are obviously interested in each other" said Kakashi smirking at the _Roar!_ Coming from Zabuza "I guess we should sort this out somehow peacefully" he ended

"Zabuza-sama, please! Is not like I love him, just give him a chance!" pleaded the girl

"Umpf!" groaned the Demon before somehow painfully nodding

"Let's untie him" asked Tsunami

"Ok, he seems calm now" said Kakashi while untying the man

"If you ever make her suffer...NOT EVEN KAMI WILL SAVE YOU! Am-I-Understood?" said Zabuza pinning the boy to the wall

"Don't worry, if Suke does that, me and Sakura-neechan will kick his ass, right 'ra-chan?" said Naruto

"Of course we will! We don't like the idea of having a bad boy for a brother!" answered the pink girl

"Thank you..It's so good to see that you trust me like that" Sasuke said in a dead-pan voice

"Why do you struggle? Gato is too strong! You will all die!" yelled a boy

"Inari!" Tsunami called out

"Is he your son?" asked Kakashi

"Yes, I'm sorry if you feel insulted" answered the woman

"No problem...but we still gonna kick his ass so he will learn to not belittle other peoples work" said Naruto holding the boy

"What?!" said Tsunami

"We won't kill him... We understand that he must have lost someone important in order to act like this.." said Sakura taking an hold of the little boy

"But I lost my Clan because my brother slaughtered it for some mysterious reasons and 'ruto had to live on his own without a family and the village hating him, so MAYBE we know a little more than you about having an hard life" said Sasuke standing in front of the boy

"I-I...sorry?" Inari asked tentatively

"Too late" said Sakura rising her fist.

The boy fainted in mere seconds out of fear

"Done! This should suffice a little, if not we will beat him for real" said Naruto positioning the boy on the couch.

"What should we do, Zabuza-sama?" asked Haku

"I don't know, I heard that the bloodline purges ended few months ago with the victory of Mei and the death of that old fool of the Mizukage, so we won't need that money Gato promised us for stopping the construction, but still I can't exactly walk around freely, I'm a Nuke-nin, remember?" said Zabuza

"You can come to Konoha with us" proposed Sakura

"And what? I don't think I will be able to enter like it was nothing"

"The civilian council is hell-bent on making me happy, it's only thanks to Naruto and Sakura if I'm not a spoiled asshole, but if I say that I found in Haku someone to rebuild my clan with.." said Sasuke

"WHAT!?" yelled Zabuza

"It's what we can tell them! I'm not gonna force her into anything!" the Uchiha immediately said

"Okay...I can accept that...But No touching, Kissing or Kami forbid anything worse or you are forfeit...you are engaged from now on!"

"Zabuza-sama!" yelled the blushing girl

"What about me!" asked Sakura

"We can always switch it into an orgy...I'm sure I can talk Tenten into it" said Naruto

"What are you talking about?" asked Zabuza having Sakura whispering in the man's ear

"Sigh!...Maybe I should have taken another mission instead of this..like..going to Iwa with a sign saying _I love The Yondaime _and_ Iwa's men have a tiny penis_" sighed the Demon of the Hidden Mist

"I think you should look at the bright side" said Tsunami

"Which is?" he asked

"...I don't know at the moment...but I'm sure there is one!" finally said the woman

"UUUUUUUH!" whined Zabuza face-palming

"Tomorrow I will start training my team...mind joining us?" asked Kakashi

"Sure, we will help you all! Right Zabuza-sama?" asked Haku.

Zabuza whined again and nodded.

**FLASHBACKS ARE COOOOOOOOL! - after Mizuki's beating- An year ago**

They are cool, Right? Let's see How they managed to become like that.

_Everything started in a certain forest outside Konoha, where a blond boy had just finished learning the **Kage Bushin **before analyzing the scroll further._

_Technique that became fundamental to kick the ass of Mizuki the traitor, sadly he will not survive the beating the army of clones gave him, but he was not an important character so no-one cares._

"_Good job Naruto" said Iruka, his back somehow patched by few bandages_

"_Thank you sensei!" said the boy, his new forehead protector shining on his forehead_

"_Now let's go" asked the Teacher before falling unconscious due to an hit from Naruto on the base of his neck._

"_Come out brother, we have some work to do" said Naruto_

"_Here we are" said Sasuke followed by Sakura_

"_So she is in too? Like this is easier, less explaining to do later" said the blond_

"_So, what are we gonna do?" asked Sakura_

"_Sasuke took few sealing scrolls from his compound vault, we will give back the scroll with the jutsus, but it seems that there are few other things sealed inside so we are gonna take them and become the new Sannin Trio!" said Naruto_

"_Will anyone notice?" asked Sakura_

"_Until the seals keep showing that something is sealed inside, unless they decide to control them, no-one will notice" said Sasuke_

"_And even then, it will be too late, this not considering that I am The dead Last, remember? No-one will ever believe that I am good enough to do something like this, even when we will finally drop those masks we created" said Naruto_

_After few excruciatingly long minutes (some of those things were so big they had transfer them from a scroll to another without unsealing them, how those managed to fit inside it was a mystery to them) they finally emptied the forbidden Scroll before giving it back._

_Several minutes later- Uchiha Compound_

"_Yeah! I got promoted, they gave us an A-rank mission payment and finally we have all we need to achieve our greatest success!" yelled an ecstatic Naruto _

_They choose Venom for Sakura so to make her the Powerhouse of the group since the scroll said that the creature was able to increase the host's power exponentially, after Naruto used the Fox power, in a blast of chakra the two were completely fused, without possibility of them to get separated._

_Sasuke choose the nanosuit getting the role of support unit and assassination with the invisibility it provided ( just like Naruto) the two would switch between scouting and attack at the moment notice or simply covering Sakura with Jutsus and Illusions._

_Naruto was the hardest because in order to have the Kyuubi's help he had to take the Augmentations since those somehow had the Fox interest, other than offering opportunities for interrogations._

_Luckily that _Sarif co_. had left a guide on how to implant them, and even more luckily Tsunade was at Tanzaku Gai's most famous bar (during the meeting the young trio was masked so to protect their identities) so finally, after a number with a BIG series of zeros behind was presented to the woman, the blond Maelstrom was operated._

_Tsunade will continuously send letters to them so to control how her patient was facing and keep asking if they were interested in transform the augmentations in a business._

"_Later, we'll make you know when we'll start the production" will be the answer at every request._

_Hikage office – after the trio left-_

"_Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" asked old man Hiruzen to the shadows of his office_

"_We already told you, it's for the best that those things end up in their hands" said the tallest of the three hooded figures emerging from the wall_

"_I still can't believe this" answered the old man_

"_We are the only ones to know how this will come out, you now know our situation, right?" said the woman of the group_

"_Yes, and I can't help but feeling worried, especially with the information you gave me" said Hiruzen_

"_Old man, we shouldn't give you those infos, but we need few changes and you are the only one who can accomplice them, do you understand the whole thing?" asked the shorter male_

"_Yes...you gave me several scrolls with the instructions about when I have to open them...let's hope you three are right" said Hiruzen_

"_Then we can go back now, take care old man" said the short boy_

"_You three too, take care..." was the answer. _

And now, after the amazing story of their "upgrading", let's go on with this wonderful story!

**END OF THE FLAAAAASHBAAAAACK!**

**Gato's secret Base – a week later**

It was a bad day for Gato, why? Zabuza was missing along with his partner after the death of the Demon Brothers, sure that meant he wouldn't have to pay them, but still it will force the rich midget to hire someone else and then act the ever-cliché "I'm killing you so I won't pay for your service" thing...Kami, sometimes he felt like a big bad from a crappy movie.

By now he was walking towards his office, his body screaming in need of caffeine while trying to remain awake instead of falling asleep while standing.

"Good morning boss!" said Minion 323

"Good morning" answered Gato pinching the bridge of his nose, how he hated the hangovers!

"Good morning Boss!" said Naruto while keeping Minion 212's head under his arm while punching him

"Good morning" answered Gato waving at him

"Good morning Boss!" said Kakashi while repeatedly stabbing a man Zabuza was holding in place from behind

"Good morning, ah! Zabuza you are back! Don't you dare disappear again or I won't pay you!" was the answer/threat

"OK!" answered Zabuza

"Good Morning Boss" said Sakura using a minion's intestine to strangle another while Sasuke was jumping on minion 34's stomach

"Good morning...please pay attention, the carpet is new"

"Good morning Boss! Can you help me?" asked Tazuna while He and Haku tried to open Gato's comically large safe.

"...Here, pay attention next time" said Gato opening the safe and finally entering his office, slamming the door.

"Wow...is he stupid or something?" asked Sasuke

"He is a little slow that's for sure, now quickly! We still have few dozen of bandits to kill and a safe to raid" Said Zabuza signaling the others to move.

**Gato's office**

"Aaah! Nothing better than coffee to start a day, sure those people were maiming my men with the help of Zabuza...and maybe the bridge builder was robbing me, but until my coffee-machine works I have nothing to fear" he said looking at his agenda.

_Evil breakfast_

_Raiding the village _

_Posting a review on Tremor230's Fanfictions _( "That guy is amazing," he said smiling)

_Calling Mommy for her birthday..._

"...Why did I have the slightly suspicion that I should be angry right now?" he finally asked himself

Then it finally clicked...

"WAIT A MINUTE!...I DIDN'T PUT THE SUGAR IN MY COFFEE...WAIT A MINUTE! I STILL DIDN'T SWITCHED TO GEIKO!...AND I'M BEING ROBBED!...AND I'M STILL HERE YELLING INSTEAD OF GOING OUT TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT WITH MY MONEY AND MY MINIONS!" yelled Gato

Summoning all the rage his over-weight, short body could produce the midget bolted out of his office waving his cane furiously.

Only to find himself alone against Zabuza, Haku, Team 7 and THE WHOLE population of Wave.

"...Let's see...I don't think that asking for mercy will help me, right?" he asked whimpering

A lot of heads started shaking in a negative motion.

"Ok...just..don't hit my face" Gato said before the horde rained on him.

The irony in the beating was that several old women were the ones to hit the ex-business man harder, one of them even used her denture to maim him.

"While the others are having fun with Gato, do you have a name for the bridge?" asked Kakashi

"A name? No, I still have to think about it" answered Tazuna

"What about _The heroes Bridge_? After all is thanks to Team 7 if we are finally free" said Tsunami while stomping on Gato's balls.

"Yeah! That's a good name! It's thanks to those three if Wave is safe!" The men and women yelled at unison

"OH! Come on You'll make us blush!" said Sakura

"We are so cool!" said Naruto

"Totally amazing" said Sasuke

"Let's go home, I want to enter Konoha as soon as possible" said Zabuza

**Konoha – Council room**

The trip from Wave was uneventful, the real problem was the council that had called a meeting once the news of their return with a missing-nin became official.

"members of the council, we are here under the request of the civilian part, can we know what is so important to have this meeting all of a sudden?" asked Hiruzen

"We asked for the imprisonment of one Momochi Zabuza and his apprentice and since it is obviously thanks to Uchiha-san that he came here,the merit goes to the Uchiha clan" said Homura, one of the elders and Hiruzen's ex-teammate.

Sasuke had to bite down a groan at all that praise "Kami, they are so up my ass that I can taste their sandals" thought Sasuke

"Actually, Sasuke-san had proposed to my daughter and she accepted so they are engaged to marry once the boy reached his twentieth birthday"answered Zabuza

"Really? WONDERFUL! Then you two must be cleared of all the accusations!" said a civilian man, making the shinobi part sweat-drop at the complete 180 the civilians had at the news.

Before the shinobi part could protest the three gennin winked towards them, sending them a secret message.

"Well...I think that it could be arranged, what do you think Hizashi?" asked Hishi at his brother

"Why not, only if Zabuza-san and the girl start living in the Uchiha compound and undertake a month of probation" answered the Hyuuga clan-head twin.

After the whole kidnapping attempt of Hinata, Hizashi proposed to give himself as payment for the death of the Kumo ambassador, exchange never happened because someone managed to talk the Raikage into giving up by explaining WHY the man was killed, A was apparently unaware of the whole ordeal and that had the gratitude of the whole Hyuuga clan and their help in the facade of the three kids.

How did they know? Because the Raikage kept muttering about "A blond smart-ass and his two friends" and now Hizashi and Hiashi decided that both will take part at the council meetings.

"Speaking of that, I wish to advance a request, is this possible?" asked Sasuke giving a scroll to the elders

"What's that 'Suke?" asked Naruto

"Just you wait" said Sasuke

"Are you sure Uchiha-san?" asked an elderly woman

"Yes, Naruto has good potential and even if the Kyuubi went on a rampage, my Sharingan will stop it" said Sasuke, he had unlocked his eyes after the _training_ Kakashi put him into.

"And Haruno? Her mother is a member of the civilian council" she asked again

"She can take distance from her family and form her own shinobi clan now that she is in the active roster." answered Sasuke

"WHAT!" screeched Sakura's mother

"Mom Please! We hate strong noises!" said the girl

"WE? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?" yelled again the woman before some webs closed her mouth

"We have a bloodline limit now, but it gives us advanced hearing and you yell too much!" answered the girl

"Then if the girl and the boy want..." asked Inoichi while reading the scroll

"What are we talking about?" asked Naruto

" 'Ruto, 'Kura, trust me please" asked Sasuke

"Okay-okay, just don't use those puppy eyes of yours, we accept!" said Naruto as he and Sakura nodded.

"Then it's official, Naruto Uzumaki, Haruno Sakura, Sasuke Uchiha, Zabuza Momochi and Haku Momochi are now part of the _Seijin clan_ (Seijin means _Saint, Holy men_), whose against?" asked Hiashi

Only Danzo was against the decision, like that the Kyuubi brat was out of his grasp and that didn't sit well with his plans.

"Seijin? Isn't that a little preposterous 'Suke?" asked Naruto

"Che! We are cool and Powerful, an epic name is the minimum we can have" answered the Uchiha boy

"And the clan-head?" asked Sakura

"Me of course, it was an idea of mine after all! You two can be my advisors" answered Sasuke

"_cough! Cough-_megalomaniac_-cough_!" said Naruto

"_Cough! Cough-_He is right and you know it!..._Cough!_" said Sakura

"Very funny, really, I'm dieing of laughs" dead-panned Sasuke

"By the way, what's with your change of image? And Kakashi-san armour?" asked a civilian woman

"Sorry, it's a clan secret since I will join it too" said Kakashi

"Then this meeting is over" said Hiruzen

As the newly formed clan was leaving the room, Sasuke's head popped in from outside.

"Before we leave, a last information for the Council.

Naruto's true name is _Naruto Namikaze,_ congratulations! You treated the Yondaime's only son as a Pariah for years, I hope you feel really smart now that you know it, Bye-bye!" he said before closing the door.

"..." a tense silence fell in the room

"Is...is that true?" asked Tsume Inuzuka

Hiruzen nodded, carefully hiding the smirk he was sporting waiting for the reaction.

"**WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!**" yep, the two sections yelled/asked at the top of their lungs,

In Iwa Onoki cursed up a storm as apparently the windows of his office decided to explode by themselves as a far away cry was heard.

**Konoha - "New" Seijin clan main-house - **

"What now?" asked Zabuza

"Next month we'll have the Chunnin exam here in Konoha, my team will take part and I would really appreciate your help in training them" asked Kakashi

"Can I be sadistic?" asked Zabuza with a demonic gleam in his eyes

"Sure" the masked man answered with an eye-smile

"Especially with Sasuke?" Zabuza asked again

"Of course, I can't see why not!" answered Kakashi

"WHYYYYYY!?" the boy yelled as the Demon of the hidden mist started chasing him

"FIRST LESSON: **DDDDOOOODDGEEEE!**" yelled Zabuza waving his sword around

"SOMEONE HELP MEEE!" yelled the young clan-head leaving the room

"RUN LITTLE PIG! RUUUN!" was the last thing the others heard before the duo disappeared outside.

"Shall we begin too?" asked Haku

"It will be a chase for us too?" asked Sakura

"...No, I'm more _Traditional_ towards training" answered the girl

"Ok then, let's go to the dojo" said Kakashi.

Several explosions and screams of pain could be heard by the two gennin as their brother was under "the care" of Zabuza.

**Time skip one month later - (insert here clip-show with the trio training hard on the notes of _The eye of the tiger _by Survivor, a classic for training montage ^ ^)**

**Konoha – ninja academy – first exam**

"I'm beat, I'm exhausted and angry, let's go with this fucking exam so I can go home" said Naruto

"Luckily it will be a written test, you can copy from me and spend the rest of the time sleeping" said Sasuke

"We don't think it will be this easy...what kind of test is one where you can easily cheat? We bet it will be some kind of torture endurance" said Sakura

"Hey! Isn't that a genjutsu?" asked Sasuke

"Yeah, but please refrain yourself from yelling it and asking them to dispell it" said Naruto

"Why should I? It would be stupid...what kind of demented idiot will do that?" said Sasuke

"HEY! DROP THE GENJUTSU! NO-ONE WOULD FALL FOR THAT!" yelled Kiba

"That's your answer 'Suke" said Sakura

"Let's go before the crowd increase" said Naruto

"WAIT! ARE YOU SASUKE UCHIHA?" asked a tights wearing boy with bushy eyebrows

"Hi Lee!" said Naruto

"Hi NARUTO-KUN!" yelled again the boy

"Yes I am Sasuke Uchiha, why?" answered Sasuke

"I NEED TO FIGHT YOU SO TO SHOW THAT HARD WORK WINS OVER NATURAL PRODIGY!"

"Uh? You said Something?" said Team 7 at unison looking at him

"DAMN YOU THREE AND YOUR SYNCHRONIZED HIP ATTITUDE!" said Lee

"Look Lee, can you wait until the end of the exam? We both need to be on top of our abilities to compete here" said Sasuke

"YOSH! WE WILL FIGHT AFTER THE END OF THE EXAMS! MORE IMPORTANTLY...SAKURA-CHAN WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?" he asked

"Let us think...NO!" said Sakura finger flicking him.

The poor boy went flying, crashing against the fake gennin guarding the fake room 301

"Ops! Maybe we exaggerated a little" said Sakura

"Let's hope he is not dead" said Naruto going upstairs

**Ninja academy – Real room 301 - **

"Yo sensei!" said Naruto

"YO! Good luck and remember, you three are more than ready to pass this, don't make me regret helping you" Kakashi said with his eye-smile before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Let's go before we die of old age" said Sakura

Once Team 7 entered the room every ninja present focused their killer intent on them, obtaining nothing as they doesn't seem to notice that.

"I think 'Ruto was right...It's gonna be a written test" said sasuke

"Well, that's stupid...you can't promote someone just with a written test!" said Sakura

"Well, that will explain why every year a lot of fan-girls get to have a team, sure they fail, but still a team is formed...and I think the others are trying scaring us..." said Naruto

"We live with the Demon of the Hidden mist, they are nothing in comparison" said Sakura transforming in her demon form

"HOLY SHIT!" was the scream of the class before the flux of K.I died down

"Done!" Sakura chirped while transforming back

"You should have stayed in that form...an ugly bitch like you is too scary to be considered human" said a girl from Kumo

"TSK!" growled Sakura launching a kunai to scare the girl...only for her to move on instinct deflecting the weapon.

"You shouldn't catch so much atten_**SQUELCH!**_" was saying a grey-haired boy before the kunai went directly on his forehead, killing him instantly

"OOOOOH FUCK!" yelled Sakura

"I TOLD YOU TO NOT PLAY WITH THE KUNAIS!" yelled Naruto

"It's not our fault! Is that girl that over-reacted! I wanted to launch it at her feet!" said Sakura

"HOW COULD I KNOW THAT!? I SAW YOU THROWING A WEAPON AT ME AND ACTED ON INSTINCT! IT?S THAT BOY?S FAULT! HE SHOULD HAVE DODGED THAT!" yelled the girl

"ALRIGHT BRATS SHUT UP!" came the voice of a scarred man wearing a blue trench coat and a bandana, he was examining the body

"Whoever this one was he had restricted informations about the teams taking part at the exam and their components...WELL may Kami smite me...Pinky caught a spy, good job" the man said with a sadistic grin.

"Really? YEAH! We are sooo cool!" said Sakura laughing

"HN! You are just lucky" said Sasuke

"I second that" said Naruto

"OK BRATS THE SHOW IS OVER! I?M MORINO IBIKI AND THIS IS THE FIRST PART OF THE EXAM! NOW TAKE A SEAT AND START WRITING!" the now named Ibiki yelled

**One Hour later**

"_So tell me, what are your intentions with Tenten?" _asked Sasuke.

"_I'm serious about our relationship, I want to ask her to move to the compound after the exams are over"_ answered Naruto.

Luckily the Nano-suit managed to create a link with Naruto's internal communicator so to make info exchange easier, it didn't took a genius to understand that the whole point of the exam was cheating, Sakura was answering by herself being the second smartest one in the class, second only to Shikamaru, while Sasuke used the Sharingan to copy the answers from another gennin and then sending them to Naruto via link.

Now the two boys were happily talking about Nothing.

"_Really? That's an important step...do you think she will accept?" _asked Sasuke

"_I hope so, I think I love her"_ said Naruto blushing

"ALRIGHT! THE ONES THAT REAMAINED IN THE CLASS..YOU ALL PASSED!" yelled Ibiki

"Sorry...what happened?" asked Naruto

"...I asked who wanted to take the final question saying that if you failed the whole team would have been prohibited from ever taking it again..." the man answered in a sweat-drop

"AH! Okay! Good thing that we stayed then" said Sasuke enlarging the sweat-drop on Ibiki's head

From the window a black ball came crushing down, revealing once it opened the next proctor.

"Anko-neechan! As pretty as always!" said Naruto

"Hello guys! Good thing you stayed, remember, pass this exam and I'll give you that pole dance I promised you" Anko said with a wink

"They both have a girlfriend already, you know?" said Tenten

"...I can share...no problem, meet me at training ground 44 in fifteen minutes or I'll fail everyone of you!" Anko said jumping down the window dodging the wave of weapons Tenten launched at her

"Bitch" murmured the weapon mistress.

**Konoha – training ground 44 AKA "the forest of death" - **

"Okay listen well! As you can see we gave you a scroll, your mission upon entering the forest is to hunt down the others in order to find the second scroll, you have five days to obtain both and reach the tower in the middle of the forest. Reach the tower after the five days passed and you fail, lose a member of the team and you fail, open the scroll outside the tower and you fail and of course...die and you fail, Konoha won't be responsible of your horrible death, that's why we have you sign those papers before, NOW GO! I WANNA SEE SOME BLOOD!" said Anko

"Did you two have a strategy already?" asked Sakura

"I think we should lay few traps around the tower before starting our hunt of the other teams" said Sasuke

"Maybe we should keep fighting other teams even after we acquired the other scroll, less people means greater chance of winning" said Naruto

"That's good too, let's GO!" yelled Sakura once the gates started opening with Anko's voice giving the start at the exam.

**The forest – area near the tower – two hours later**

"That was the last one! How many did we used?" asked Sasuke

"We have...thirty-four _Kunai launcher_ traps, seventy-two _Explosive _traps and another sixty varying from smoke bombs to chakra-draining quicksands, that should be enough to cut down the weakest teams" said Naruto

"This exam is too easy" said Sakura

"Please don't say that!" said Sasuke

"Why we shouldn't?" asked Sakura

"Because every time someone say that, immediately everything take and goes down the drain!" said Naruto

"Oh! Come on! Don't be such pessimistic brothers!" said Sakura in a pout

**Forest – clearing – 1 minute and 32 seconds later - **

"COME ON SASUKE-KUN, LET ME BITE YOU!" yelled Orochimaru

"FOR THE LAST TIME! NO! NEVER!" yelled the boy dodging another bite from the snake sannin.

"I told you to not call this exam easy!" yelled Naruto

"**How do you think we could have known that a fucking sannin would have been here!**" answered the girl in her demonic voice while web swinging between the trees.

Not even twenty seconds after their discussion the trio was attacked by a Grass nin that revealed himself as Orochimaru, after a moment of surprise Team 7 jumped into action attacking the Snake.

It was only thanks to the nano-suit if Sasuke wasn't victim of Orochimaru's bite, but even if he almost broke his teeth against the young Uchiha's armor, the Traitorous Sannin kept trying...for other 72 times.

"What the hell! What kind of suit is that!" yelled Orochimaru

"One that I now decide to NEVER take off! I will even keep it under the shower if it means being protected by a pedo!" answered Sasuke

"I'm not a pedophile! I want you to accept the power I wish to give you!" said Orochimaru

"I prefer earning my abilities in the old way: with the hard work, not selling myself to a sick bastard like you!" yelled Sasuke as he, Sakura and Naruto went through hand-seals

"**Fuuton: drilling air bullet!**" yelled Naruto shooting from his mouth a bullet of condensed air

"**Katon: great fireball!**" yelled Sasuke launching an huge ball of fire

"**Doton: earth spikes!**" yelled Sakura summoning several spears of rock and launching them towards Orochimaru

The three attacks landed in an huge explosion, lifting a cloud of dust that the trio used to escape

"Where do you think you are going, you three!" yelled Orochimaru following them

"Orochiamaru! You are under arrest! Your crimes against Konoha shall not be forgiven!" said an ANBU as several squads came surrounding the man.

"You three kids can go now, we'll take care of this!" said a eagle masked NBU

"Thank you ANBU-san!" said Sasuke as Team 7 started running towards the tower, the sound of fighting accompanying them until the end.

**The Tower – central arena -**

The two scrolls ( the second one was found between the rest of an Oto team that fell in one of their traps) revealed themselves as summoning scrolls, from the resulting smoke Kakashi made his appearance.

"Yo! Good job arriving here so fast and you even went toe-to-toe with a Sannin, honestly I didn't thought you could do that, I'm impressed!" said Kakshi

"Yeah..we had a rather bad time against Orochi-pedo, but we gave our best" said Sasuke

"Don't you even strat feeling weak you three! He was a Sannin while you three had just started your career as Ninjas, even with those powers for a gennin to keep up with that level of fight is unthinkable" The scarecrow said with his patented eye-smile

"That's true, sensei? Did this tower have a place for us to take a shower and sleep? I think we need it!" said Naruto

"Sure! Upstairs there are few rooms, rest freely, you have four days before the end of the forest exam, you can have a little training session during this time, but nothing too taxing, you have to always be at 100% if you want to complete a mission" said Kakashi

"Perfect! We smell of snake and mud, WE NEED A BATH!" yelled Sakura running towards the rooms

"Bye sensei, we'll be on our own then!" said Sasuke as he and Naruto followed the girl

"Good boys, I chose a good team after all" Kakashi said before returning with the other instructors to wait the remaining participants.

**Four days later – arena of the Tower -**

"This will be a series of preliminary fights to reduce the numbers of gennin for the finals, remember that you are fighting not only for advancing rank, but for the prestige of your village too" said Hiruzen signaling the start of the matches.

**Sasuke Uchiha-Seijin Vs Kiba Inuzuka**

"Let's go Akamaru! We'll show that prick who is the boss!" said Kiba jumping down the railing

"I have to fight the dog-boy...what's that thing the Naras keep saying?" Sasuke asked

"_Troublesome_ 'Suke!" answered the boy

"That one...troublesome" said the young Seijin clan-head calmly walking down the stairs ( his new clan name finally became official the previous day)

"You two are ready?" asked Hayate, a man with chronic coughing fits

"OF COURSE!" yelled Kiba

"I'm ready" said Sasuke

"Very well...HAJIME!" yelled the proctor

"**Gatsuga!**" immediately yelled Kiba as he and Akamaru started spinning on themselves, creating a drill-like tornado and flying towards Sasuke

"Not so fast dog-breath!" yelled Sasuke launching a smoke bomb trying confusing him

"That won't work!" Kiba said without stopping

"But my invisibility will" whispered Sasuke activating the suit cloaking mode and disappearing

"Good move, but useless! **Kai!**" Kiba said keeping his hands in the Ram seal and sending a pulse of chakra

"What? That's not a technique...how? I can't smell him either!" yelled enraged Kiba

"Good thing that Naruto managed to have Hana Inuzuka to spill out how to suppress smell and noises using chakra, Kami How I love his _social manipulator_" thought Sasuke from behind Kiba

"WHERE ARE YOU? SHOW YOURSELF!" yelled Kiba

"Why don't you show off first!" said Sasuke tearing away Kiba's pants

"YEEEEP!" in a very girly scream the boy tried covering his masculinity

"That...was so small...did he have it? I didn't saw it" said Naruto

"We didn't saw it either" said Sakura

"WAAAAAAH!" was Kiba's scream as he ran away in shame, Akamaru hot on his heels

"Winner by TOTAL humiliation: Sasuke Uchiha-Seijin!" said Hayate

"Good job 'Suke" said Naruto once the raven-haired boy reached the Team

"An unorthodox way of winning, but we can take what we get" said Kakashi

The next matches went fairly smoothly as Neji completely destroyed a mummy-dressed gennin from Oto while his Cousin Hinata had done the same with his teamate.

Shikamaru fought with a painted boy from Suna that revealed himself as a puppet-user, the Nara boy still managed to lose even after using the puppet's shadow to reach for the boy Kankorou and forcing him to head-butt a wall until he collapsed, giving forfeit before the finish

Tenten wentt against Kin Tsuchi from Oto, and after a momentary disadvantage due to the Sound Kunoichi bells, Konoha weapons queen managed to convert that girl in an human pin-cushion of kunais, sickles and whatnot.

**Sakura Haruno-Seijin Vs Ino Yamanaka**

"Forfeit Forehead! You have no chance!" said Ino

"Ino-chan? Why don't you enter our mind and THEN decide who should forfeit!" said Sakura

"Very well...if you wish so much to lose...WATCH ME SASUKE-KUUUN! I'LL WIN FOR YOU!" yelled the blond girl

"Please...someone kill me" whined the boy

"I can't 'Suke, Haku will kick my ass if I try" answered Naruto

Moving fast Ino launched her clan mental attack, entering Sakura's mind

"Ten Ryous that the blond will jump out screaming!" yelled Naruto

"I bet she will win instead" said Kiba finally with a new pair of pants on.

After several minutes Ino's body twitched, before the girl started screaming in terror and running, crashing against the wall and falling unconscious

"Winner: Sakura Haruno-Seijin!" yelled Hayate

"Told you...inside that head there is more than someone should see" said a smirking Naruto as several ninjas were paying him for the bet.

**Last Match: Naruto Namikaze-Seijin Vs Sabaku no Temari**

"A wind mistress from Suna? That's a good fight" said Naruto sealing his coat and walking down.

If the fact he was a Namikaze didn't shocked everyone, the view of his completely metallic arms certainly does

"I'm a wind element too if you are interested" said Naruto

"I'm more curious about your arms" answered Temari

"A simple operation I had to take, but it had his benefits" he said closing his sun-glasses in a _Flip_

"That's the first moon" she said opening her fan and showing a circle "when all the moons are out you will lose"

"And those are my blades" he said taking out his arm-blades

"HAJIME!" yelled Hayate

"take this!" yelled Temari launching several micro, twisters towards the boy

"**FUUTON: Great breakthrough!"** launching a pulse of wind chackra Naruto managed to disperse the woman attack before dashing forward, his blades clashing with her fan in a shower of sparks

"You aren't that bad!" said Temari while pushing him back

"You neither, but I need to pass, so sorry if I have to get brutal!" said naruto pushing back, forcing Temari to skip back until her back crushed against the wall

"WHAT THE HELL! He pushed me even with me focuseing chakra on my feet...who is this guy!" she thought

"**Fuuton: Vacuum blade!**" blowing strongly Naruto created a thick blade of wind easily cutting the wall, Temari had to thank her fan for taking the blunt of the assault, but now she was disarmed having her only weapon spliced in two.

"Forfeit!" asked Naruto

"Never!" she yelled unsealing a second fan and resuming her attack.

"Worst for you" simply said the boy punching the gorund and sending debris and girl flying back

"I won't lose! **Kamaitachi no Jutsu!**" Temari created a veritable storm, catching naruto in the middle and letting several wind blades the cut him

"It's over baby, forfeit and I will cut off the technique" said Temari in a smirk

Naruto simply crossed his arms before spinning on himself, and huge explosion dispersing the wind and launching back Temari, said girl landing hard on the floor and fainting

"That was my secret weapon, the _**Typhoon Explosive System **_you should consider yourself lucky that all that wind protected you by the bigger part of the explosion or you would be a stain in the floor by now" said the boy walking towards the stairs

"Winner: Naruto Namikaze-Seijin" yelled Hayate

**The end! This means that in the next cahpter we'll have the finals and the invasion, I hope you like this even if there were little fights, I 'll make up in the next okay?**

**Please review and favorite if you like my story.**

**Byee! ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Another one just for you! please enjoy another Chapter of the adventures of our dear Team 7, today they'll fight in the finals of the exam and will stop an evil man from conquering their village. ops! did it count as spoilers? ^^  
**

**Let's begin!**

**some info: Pairing**

**Naru/Ten**

**Sasu/Haku**

**Saku/Shino and Neji ( why only a man has to have more than one lover? ^^)**

" **You bastard"** - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything I used and will use in this story**

**Chapter 3: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK THEY ARE!?**

**Konoha – Seijin Clan house – the day of the finals**

It was a rough month, especially for Sasuke, as the three senseis of Team 7 did whatever in their power to draw the _Monster Trio_ (as Haku jokingly started calling them) to the ground and back.

Now, it finally was the day of the Finals so both Copycat and Demon decided to let the trio take the previous day as a free day, giving the boys some time with their beloved girls.

The fact that Tenten decided to accept Naruto's request about moving with them was a plus that made Team 7 take an _Important_ decision in order to celebrate.

"Better waking those three up or they'll spend the whole day sleeping" muttered a still sleepy Zabuza walking towards the rooms.

"YO BRAT! WAKE UP!" he yelled in front of Naruto's room, no answer came

"That's strange...HEY SPINNY EYES!" Zabuza yelled again punching on Sasuke's door

Again, no answer.

"Let's try with Pinky" he muttered reaching Sakura's room

"It's quiet...maybe I should check.." said Zabuza leaning against the door, hearing nothing from the room.

Once he opened the door his worst nightmare became reality as _Her precious_ Haku was getting pummelled from behind by the Uchciha, near those two, the blond boy was doing the same to Tenten and by the speed he was using while thrusting, his legs and arms weren't the only part _Augmented_.

While the two boys were giving their "best", Sakura was being eaten by both girls as Haku's face was between her legs and Tenten's on the pinky's breast.

"YEEES! YEES! FASTER! FASTER! OOOOOH!" were moaning the girls as the boys grunted in response, a pair of red eyes with tomoes and a bubbling red aura of chakra appearing as the two gained even more speed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU FILTHY..." started yelling Zabuza before a rain of Ice-made senbon came flying towards him.

"GACK!" closing the door quickly Zabuza could hear the multiple projectiles hitting the door.

"I'll ask Kakashi to help me..." he said turning towards the scarecrow door

"KAKASHI! I NEED YOUR HELP FOR..." he said before a kunai scratched his cheek

"I PUT THE HITAI-ATE ON THE DOOR-KNOB! YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!" yelled the enraged Jounin, under him a purple haired kunoichi Zabuza known as Yugao that was trying to cover herself with the sheets.

"WHY EVERYONE IS FUCKING SOMEONE TODAY!?" Zabuza yelled again

"JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIND A WOMAN IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE HAVE TO STAY WITHOUT TOO!" yelled Kakashi punching the man out of the room.

"I'll go make breakfast then" groaned the new _Demon of the hidden Leaf_

"I'll show them! I'll fuck someone too! And she will be even sexier than theirs put together!" yelled resolute Zabuza as a knocking came from the door

"HEY THERE! I'm Anko, I was looking for..." said the trench wearing goddess

"You were looking for me?" Zabuza said leaning against the door, his best lady-killer smile on his face while in a _Cool Guy_ pose

"Oh Kami No! HEY BRATS! Anko is HERE!" she yelled

"Anko-neechan! You are late! Third door to the left, we already started!" came Naruto's voice

"WHAT!?" yelled disbelieving Zabuza

"Damn Brats! Can't wait a minute for a fucking orgy, sorry pretty boy, but I have two hot guys waiting to play _Sexy torture_ with me" Anko said shoving Zabuza away, going upstairs while undressing, nothing under her trench.

"ANKO IS IN DA HOUSE! MISS SNAKE WANTS SOME BIG-DICKED LITTLE MOUSE!" she singed before opening the door and joining the group, leaving the door open for everyone to hear.

"No way!...I am the Demon! I should have women throwing themselves at my feet! WHYYYY!?" Zabuza yelled at the sky while on both knees.

"LOOOOOSEEEER!" came Anko's answer.

After few seconds of emo-emo brooding another woman came to the door

"Sorry the intrusion, did you saw a purple haired woman enter here" the black haired beauty asked

"Yeah...she is upstairs..."answered Zabuza

"Doing what exactly?" she asked

"DEEPER! GO DEEPER! I WANT YOU TWO TO FUCK ME HARDER!" came the voice of Anko

"She is _having fun_ with both my students...at the same time apparently" muttered Zabuza

"Once she has done tell her that Kurenai was looking for her" said Kurenai

"Oh Hell not!" yelled Zabuza grabbing her and shoving his tongue down her oesophagus in the deepest kiss he could muster.

"I won't be outdone by those ass-holes!" he was thinking before letting Kurenai go

"...Whoa..." she muttered

"Do you mind few hours of raw, animal sex on the kitchen's table?" asked Zabuza

"Technically I have a boyfriend already" answered a flustered Kurenai

"I can go for hours and I have no problems cuddling" he answered

"...The hell...Asuma usually fall asleep immediately after he come, but I want to talk about our feelings afterwards!" answered Kurenai

"Roger!" he said carrying her bridal style

"TO THE KITCHEEEEN!" Yelled Zabuza on a mighty Roar.

Sasuke will be forced to burn the table and a big chunk of the room as the rest of the group won't get near the zone after the two lovers were busted during their "pillow (or table) talk"

That day a clone of Kurenai went delivering a message to Asuma, once the clone dispelled the man could be seen falling on hands and knees crying comically before yelling a "WWHYYYYYYY!?" that shocked the nearby houses, he will spend the rest of the day getting wasted at the nearest bar.

"AAH! To be young again! They are so lucky to actually have two girlfriends willing to have an orgy as their first time, it must be the sign that the times are changing" simply said Jiraiya while correcting few ideas for his new book on a pad.

Luckily the trio had a previous meeting with Jiraiya the Toad sage, making their training harder and their preparation Sky-rocket, but the meeting itself was particularly funny in its own way.

**Flash-back – Male side of the Bath-house – three weeks before the Finals**

"_Yeah baby! Wash her back, slowly...Good! Now slap her!...Come on! Just a little slap!" was whispering a grey haired man with a red dress similar to a Kabuki costume, wooden geta and a custom Hitai-ate with "Oil" on it._

_He was giggling perversely while taking notes spying on the female side._

"_You know? For a pervert you have absolutely no style in peeping" said a voice to his left_

"_At least we are hiding our presence, old pervert" said the voice to his right_

"_Show yourself! I'm Jiraiya the Toad Sage and I'm The SUPER pervert" whispered the old man_

"_I'm Naruto Namikaze-Seijin, your godson" said the blond appearing to Jiraiya's left_

"_And I'm Sasuke Uchiha-Seijin" said Sasuke at the man's right_

"_Invisibility? HOW?! TELL ME!" yelled Jiraiya, making the women glaring at him_

"_A PERVERT!" Yelled Sakura pointing at him_

"_W-Wait! Those two are peeping as well!" said Jiraiya_

"_Those two who?" said a towel-covered Kurenai_

"_Hu?" muttered the Toad Sage looking around, but the two boys reacted quickly by cloaking themselves as he started yelling and leaving him as the sole _culprit_._

_As the horde of rightfully enraged women finished beating him, giving the two boys one hell of a _Bouncing show_, the old pervert was kicked out of the hot-spring._

"_Luckily both Ten-chan and Haku-chan were covered or WE would have kicked your ass" said Naruto appearing besides the man_

"_No-one peep on my woman...except maybe 'Ruto" said Sasuke_

"_So you watch the others girlfriend bath?" asked Jiraya getting up_

"_We have a_ No-Fapping rule_ about that, one can watch, but no fantasies or such" answered the blond_

"_So...since you two and that pink haired one are those that_ I am supposed_ to train you wished to start as soon as possible I guess?" asked Jiraya_

"_Of course! Jiji had already told you the whole deal, right?" asked Naruto_

"_Well, forget about it! You two interrupted my research so It won't go that way! Train by yourselves!" answered Jiraya giving them his back_

"_It's a pity...both me and 'Ruto have a recording of the whole time those women were there, we would have shared it with you with the promise of NOT using our sister Sakura or our girlfriends...but if you are not interested" said Sasuke as he and the blond walked away_

"_R-recording?" asked Jiraya_

"_My eyes and 'Suke's suit can record images in a VERY high definition" answered Naruto_

"_Okay! Maybe we started in the wrong way! I'll train you if you promise me to peep for me for the whole month!" Jiraya said drooling_

"_What about this: you train them without the peeping and NOW we brake the bones still intact in your body?" said Anko guiding a group of now clothed Kunoichi_

"_...You two help me!" the old man asked to the boys_

"_Sorry, but we enjoy being able to walk!" said Naruto sitting on the ground_

"_Yeah...I'll need my lower regions intact if I ever want to revive my clan" Sasuke said sitting near him_

"_Whenever you are ready girls!" said the boys getting ready to watch the massacre_

_A great beating was delivered that day, making every pervert on the planet flinch in solidarity._

**End of the Flash-Back.**

"Shouldn't you four being somewhere?" said Zabuza pointing at Tenten and Team 7

"...Where?" asked Sakura

"It's not the laundry day so..." trailed off Sasuke scratching his chin

"HOLY SHIT! THE FINALS ARE ABOUT TO BEGIN!" yelled Naruto

"AAAAAAAAAH" screamed Tenten

"AAAAAAH" screamed Team 7

"**AAAAAAAH!**" screamed the four darting out of the room, an huge cloud of dirt behind them from their mad dash

"We'll they be in time?" asked Zabuza

"...At that speed? Sure!, they are using their _Power Ups_ so they are running pretty fast...Well, I'll go too" said Kakashi before sliding on his knees, his _ARS Suit_ activating the thrusters and making him sprint away

"I want a suit like that" muttered a pouting Zabuza while he, The Super Pervert and the slightly limping Haku walked to the arena.

**Arena – Finals' First Fight**

"If Sasuke-san didn't show up He will be disqualified" said Genma, the proctor

"WE ARE HERE!" yelled four voice as several figures dropped in the arena from the sky.

Naruto was holding Tenten bridal-style while his body was covered in the yellow, cracking aura of the _**Icarus**_ system, his coat billowing dramatically in the wind as the couple slowly glided to the floor.

Sakura, the one who _Propelled_ the trio, was in her demonic form, roaring as she landed and scaring several of the audience into fainting.

Sasuke was freely showing the Nanosuit as his landing created a strong shock-wave, severely cracking the floor, the red visor shining fiercely in the sun.

The sliding Kakashi came seconds later, jumping in an intricate pirouette as the suit stopped, the steam of the cooling system adding a _Cool_ touch to his entrance.

"Sorry...we kinda got lost in the road of life" Kakashi said after a dramatic pause, his voice "metallic" from under the ARS helmet.

"Ok...I won't ask about your entrance so please get ready, Sasuke-san is the first to fight" said Genma

"Ready to fight, Seijin-san?" asked Neji bowing

"I am as ready as you are Neji, and stop calling me _Sejin-san_, we are friends right?" Sasuke said with a smile

"This doesn't mean I won't show you your place, my friend" said Neji with a smirk

"It was Fate to say that?"

"Oh please! That was a farce just like your emoness! No-one can seriously believe in that" answered Neji angrily, he had always felt stupid saying that aloud to help Team 7

"Then fight me!" yelled Sasuke charging, suit in _Maximum Armour_ mode and his fist cocked back

"Too slow!You are in my field of divination.._**Hakke Rokujuyon Sho!**_" yelled Neji getting into position

"Really?" Sasuke asked mockingly

"REALLY! TWO PALMS!" yelled Neji attacking him

_**Crack!**_

As Sasuke was launched back, two of his **Tenketsu** points almost closed Neji started screaming in pain holding his hand

"You...You may have surpassed the Suit with a bit of your Chakra, but your hands just punched something easily as hard as a diamond! How does it feels?" he asked smirking

"YOU JERK! I just broke my hand! How the hell do you think I feel!?" Neji yelled charging again

**Hyuuga clan Booth**

"Neji seems pissed brother, I thought you taught him how to keep his emotions in check" said Hiashi

"Just like his mother, touch her pride and she gets violent, even then, I still miss her" said Hizashi watching as Neji kept launching an attack after another at Sasuke, who had other two **Tenketsu** closed and now was breathing heavily.

"We all miss her, brother" said Hiashi putting an hand on his brother's shoulder

**Arena**

"CRAP!CRAP!CRAP!CRAP!" were the thoughts of Sasuke while dodging another blow from the enraged, and quietly whining about ruined manicure, Hyuuga.

"SURRENDER! SURRENDER AND SAY YOU ARE SORRY!" yelled Neji attacking

"AS IF!" yelled Sasuke launching a kunai, cutting off few hair from Neji's head.

At that moment the whole arena frozen.

"OOOOH SHIT! He's screwed!" was the general thought of everyone.

The whole Nation knows a fact, above all men of all Clans of all Villages, the Hyuugas (ESPECIALLY men curiously) were proud of three things: Their **Byakugan**, their **Jyuken**, but most of all their Hair.

Always perfect, silky-like, wonderful hair, wrongly touching or ruining them was always treated as an act of War and Neji was the worst case in the Clan's History in that regard.

"My...My Hair...You ruined...My hair?...I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU!" was the war-cry of Neji while charging

"It was an accident I swear! I'm sorry okay?" frantically said Sasuke while desperately dodging the furious onslaught of hits

"I DON'T CARE! I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal track as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!" yelled Neji

"What?" asked Sasuke

"I'M GONNA SKULL-FUCK YOU!" screamed Neji jumping on him.

"STAY AWAY!" yelled Sasuke acting on instinct and kicking him.

In the nut-sack. with his foot. In _Maximum Armour_ mode and augmented strength (You know, that pretty kick you can use to launch cars far away) , the sickening **Crunch** was heard from out of Konoha where a group of ninja ready to invade felt a jab to their groin, grabbing it in sympathy as if feeling that very same pain.

"Oh God!" muttered Genma watching Neji trashing a little while puking before falling unconscious, foaming at the mouth

"I-It was an accident! I swear!" said Sasuke checking on the boy

"F...Fuck you" said Neji, now awake, in a very high pitched voice while the doctors were taking him away.

"That...that was too much 'Suke" said Naruto as the raven haired Uchiha appeared besides him

"It wasn't intended, I'll go talk to him later" Answered Sasuke

"Yeah...But it was funny, we laughed at the face he had" happily said Sakura

"Sadistic bitch" said the two boys

"We know, thank you" answered Sakura blushing

"Wait a minute...Where is Hinata?" asked the Pink haired girl

"Furiously making out with Ino, I finally convicted her to confess to Ino" said Naruto

"And Ino?" asked Sakura

"Accepted eagerly, I'm actually using a clone to register a quite good Yuri by now...good stuff, a lot of scissor actions" answered the augmented blond

"I want a copy of that, brother, in 3D if possible!" said Sasuke giggling

"We want few too! It will be a good fore-play material before the night-time _games_" said Sakura

"I'll convert it and send you copies, baka-hentays" said Naruto face-palming

"Talks the one who spies on the bath house making recordings" said Sakura

"Under _Your_ request" concluded Naruto

"Touché" answered Sasuke

"Smart-ass" muttered Sakura

"CAN SAKURA HARUNO-SEIJIN AND SABAKU NO KANKUROU COME DOWN?" came the chakra-empowered voice of Genma

"It's our turn, wish us good luck!" said Sakura getting a kiss on each cheek from the boys

"We intended in the other way" she sultrily said getting on the railing

"Not in front of everyone, win this and you'll have _That_" said Naruto

"We accept the agreement" said Sakura jumping down, transforming her red dress in the black suit with a white spider on the back.

"She is such a good girl" said Sasuke

"It's a pity she is almost a nympho, when we will reach our eighteenth birthday we'll be in trouble" said Naruto

"At least you have unlimited Stamina, Me, Haku and Tenten have our limits you know? Even the suit can help me only so much" answered Sasuke

"We need to train more then...No risk getting her angry because still somehow frustrated after _Hours_ of _work_" said Naruto solemnly

"I second that" answered Sasuke in a similar manner shaking his _Brother_'s hand manly.

**Arena Sakura Vs Kankurou**

"Both combatants ready?" asked Genma

"HELL Yeah We are!" Yelled Sakura

"I'm ready" said the painted boy

"HAJIME!" called the proctor jumping away

"Better surrender baby! A frail thing like you is no match for a master puppeteer from Suna!" Kankurou said launching forward **Karasu** the puppet, the weapon joints _Clacking _strongly while taking out some hidden blades from the hands and mouth.

"Frail?...We are gonna make you our BITCH!" Yelled enraged Sakura punching the puppet and cracking it, launching its wooden form towards Kankurou who couldn't stop it from impacting him, both flying towards the wall, girl totally uncaring for the shallow cuts the blades inflicted to her arm.

"S-Strong" was thinking Kankurou while flying back, trying to stop his flight using the puppet to hold on the terrain.

As few inches were the only distance between boy and wall, Sakura webbing connected with Kankurou's Shoulders, pulling him back even more fiercely.

"**GRRRAAAAAH!**" in a ferocious scream Sakura turned _Demonic_ as her muscles bulged up disproportionately, her mouth filled with an huge number of jagged teeth and a very long tongue.

"HOLY SHIT!" yelled frightened Kankurou as the transformed Pinkette head-butted the puppet making it explode in a shower of shards and still hitting the boy squarely on the chest with enough force to crack his ribs, this time shooting him against the wall where he crushed in a loud _Bam!_ Leaving an hole as he was sent Thorough it and inside the following room.

"**Take That you make-up wearing Bitch! That's right! YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIITCH!**" yelled Sakura in her demon-like voice.

In the booths a certain Aburame heir could be heard muttering "She is hot" while watching her.

"The winner of the match is..." started saying Genma before a faint _Clacking_ noise could be heard from the puppet head as it started flying towards Sakura's back, a purple liquid dripping from the blade in the mouth.

"**Sore loser**" calmly said Sakura side-stepping and stomping on the wooden head, crushing it under her foot.

"B-Bitch" muttered Kankurou before fainting, he had walked until out of the hole and used his last bit of strength to try and hit the girl.

"And We are proud to be one" answered the now normal-looking Sakura.

"Winner of the Match: Sakura Haruno-Seijin" Genma finally called out as the girl collapsed.

"Shit! The blades were poisoned! We need the antidote 'Suke!" said Naruto catching her, the girl was breathing heavily, her face pale and shaking.

"I'm on it!" said the raven-haired boy charging the medics, lifting Kankurou by the collar and slamming him to the wall, cracking it

"The antidote" he simply asked

"S-Suck my dick" Kankurou smirked

"THE-ANTIDOTE-PLEASE!" Sasuke said again punching the wall and opening an hole in it

"Let me _play_ five minutes with her and I'll think about it" The painted boy said laughing weakly, coughing blood.

"...suit yourself" Sasuke's tone was void and cold as he punched Kankurou making the boy scream in pain as a lung collapsed under the assault

"That was a lung...now the leg" he said in a monotone as he kicked the boy's knee, bending the leg in the opposite direction as the bone came out of the wound

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Kankurou in pain

"The antidote" Sasuke asked again

"..." too shocked to talk Kankurou moved his head in negative

"The arm is the next" Sasuke said grabbing the boy's whilst and turning strongly, several _CRACK_! Could be heard as from the hand to the shoulder the arm went dis-articulated, several black spots appearing signifying the rupture of several blood vessel.

While Sasuke was torturing Kankurou, Naruto had rendered unconscious several ANBU trying to stop him by using the **Typhoon System**, blowing them away before getting in a ready stance with both blades out, daring them to attack

"KANKUROU! GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT FOR KAMI'S SAKE!" yelled Temari

"N...Never!" defiantly said the boy spitting on Sasuke's face

"...Then I'll just search your corpse" simply said Sasuke cocking back his fist, aiming at the boy's head.

"KANKUROU! GIVE US THE ANTIDOTE OR SHE DIES! I DON'T CARE IF THIS WILL BRING A FUCKING WAR BETWEEN SUNA AND KONOHA! NO-ONE TOUCHES MY FAMILY AND LIVE TO TELL!" Yelled Naruto taking Temari in a strangling hold, a black blade grazing her skin drawing blood while his other hand was taking the girl's head back so strongly that it was obvious that he could simply tear the head away easily.

"OK! OK! It's in my back pocket, now let her go you sick bastards!" yelled Kankurou looking at Sasuke grabbing a blue vial

"This could have been less painful if you weren't such a pest!" said Sasuke launching Kabuto thorough the wall before running to Sakura.

"How do we now it is the right one?" Sasuke asked

"I'll use it" Naruto said swapping with a clone that still was holding Temari

"What if it is a poison even the fox can't purge?" the raven-haired boy asked

"Then I die, you kill those two, find the antidote and cure 'Kura-chan" Naruto said smiling before sipping a little of the liquid.

"You idiot...so? Is it good?"

"Yes! Hurry up and make her drink! I have few words to tell Kankurou" said Naruto letting Temari go.

While Sakura's head was being held up to help her drink, Naruto appeared in front of the puppeteer, piercing the boy's good arm with his blade.

"GRAAAAH!" yelled Kankurou

"Listen well...don't you even try to pull out another stunt like that...we won't be so merciful next time" Naruto said while spinning the blade and turning Kankurou's hand in a bloody mess by stomping on it, cracking several fingers.

"BUUAARGH" yelled the boy before fainting from the shock.

"Take him away before I lose my patience" Naruto said walking away.

**Kage Booth**

"Your Gennin should learn to control their anger Hokage-sama" said the Kazekage

"This exam is a small-scale war, dear Kazekage, Team 7 had coerced an enemy into giving them what they need in order to save a comrade as you and every other saw down there, those two boys used torture to have the kid to brake, none of the injuries are long term as they could have easily destroyed your son, maybe the leg will never heal, but I know that Lady Chiyo had already substituted limbs with a prosthetic before" Said Hiruzen happily watching as Sakura was rapidly getting over her poisoned state.

"Even then...their reaction was exaggerated, maybe they are not suited for this career" tried saying the Kazekage

"This because you are from out Konoha, even if the story of both the Uchiha heir and the Namikaze heir is well known, those three are by all rights a family and even I wouldn't interfere with one of them without preparing myself for the retaliation of the other two...as for their psyche...other than the few obliged quirks the Shinobi career normally gives you, Team 7 is psychologically evaluated on a monthly schedule due to their _Abilities_ and until now they are always considered _normal_...on a shinobi point of view of course" Sarutobi said smirking and the Team's antics.

Why? The trio was giving a not-so-discreet triple _Bird_ to the Kazekage for crippling and almost killing the man's sons and getting away with it.

"Then again...if Kankurou-kun wasn't so hell bent on being such a sore loser this won't have happened" Hiruzen said chuckling at the groan he received from the Suna Leader.

**Competitors Booth**

"Are you okay 'Kura?" frantically asked Naruto while checking on the girl

"Yeah! You were poisoned! You shouldn't exceed yourself!" Sasuke said forcing Sakura to sit

"GUYS! We are fine, it's all okay!" answered Sakura getting up

"We are just worried, that's all!" said Naruto with Sasuke nodding

"Those are our brothers, so sweet and caring!" she said giving them a little peck on the lips each before creating a clone so that both pink girls could go in full make out session with the two.

"Okay! Stop using that as an excuse to get some!" said Tenten as she and Haku teared both Sakuras away from the boys.

"They are as ours as they are yours!" simply said the girl

"You need a man, Sakura...maybe Shino" said Haku making the insect using boy lift the collar of his jacket to hide his blush.

"Shino...win this and we _May_ ask you out for a date, but you'll have to share us with both my brothers in case this thing evolve" said Sakura

"...That can go too for me" Shino said in a bow before jumping down, his hive swarming in all its glory.

"Share you with your brothers?" Tenten asked

"What? We enjoyed the idea of incest... we simply ask for some occasional sex that's all" answered the pinkette

"**Summoning of the Hive!**" came Shino's voice as he called a veritable storm of insects that rained down in the arena.

"He is fighting pretty hard" Naruto said watching as the poor Oto gennin started launching sound attacks randomly to try and keep at bay the insects.

"He needs a little incentive..." Sakura said

"What did you have in mind, Sis?" asked Sasuke

"Just watch...SHINO-KUUUN! WIN THIS IN THE NEXT 20 SECONDS AND WE'LL LET YOU HAVE A THREESOME WITH US! THINK ABOUT IT! YOU AND TWO CLONES OF US!" yelled Sakura making both Team 7 boys laugh at how the Aburame Heir's glasses cracked at the mental image.

Even if few peoples in the stadium were looking at the girl for her strange, and quite dirty, boost on the boy's behalf, they all didn't missed the gulping noise the Oto nin let out seeing Shino stopping moving for an instant before getting out of his daze and taking in a deep breath.

"**HIMITSU**** GIHō: ZENKISEI BōKō!**" (**secret technique: all parasitic assault**) yelled Shino in a surprisingly high voice as a black mass erupted from the arena's floor like a black, living pillar as big as the whole arena and shooting towards the sky, several insects of all kind flying up rapidly obscuring the sun.

After few seconds in that black sea the arena got free from the little animals, leaving a standing Shino with his hands in his pockets, the arena a blanc area devoid of life as only an half-eaten Hitai-ate was what remained of his enemy.

"W-W-Winner of the fight: Shino Aburame" said the trembling Genma from the competitors booth, he had barely the time to jump away.

"Is that enough?" Shino asked quietly appearing in front of Sakura in a shunshin

"We can accept that" answered Sakura kissing him

"Uhn!" muttered the boy as he was turning beet red, further cracking his glasses before collapsing.

"Shino used a good technique, I have to say" said Naruto

"Never underestimate the power of the pussy" proudly said Sakura.

"NEXT MATCH: NARUTO NAMIKAZE-SEIJIN Vs SABAKU NO GAARA!" Genma called out

"It's my turn now!" Naruto said preparing to jump down

"Good luck bro!" Sakura said giving him a little kiss on the lips

"GOOD LUCK DARLING!" strongly said Tenten kissing him fiercely with her tongue invading his mouth

"I...I'll go now" said the blond jumping down

"Are you jealous?" joked Sakura

"Shut up Men stealer!" said Tenten glaring at her

**The Arena**

"Are you two both ready?" asked Genma

"I'm ready" both boys said

"Then...HAJIME!" yelled the proctor moving his arms downward

"I'll prove my existence! Let me taste your blood Seijin!" Gaara said summoning from the gourd on his back a veritable sea of sand that covered the arena changing it in a small-scale desert.

"I know I wouldn't have liked this fight! AND I WAS RIIIIIIIGHT!" yelled Naruto dodging a wave of sand that almost submerged him, only for a spear of sand to surface and nail him in the chest, launching him back

"AAAUGGH! As...as always I escaped death...I'm far too lucky sometimes..." the blond jocked looking at the small dent the spear left on his breast plate protecting his heart.

"Mother wants your blood! And she will have it!" Gaara said as three clones of him came into life from the small desert they were in.

"Oh Joy! They multiplied...may as well even the odds!" yelled Naruto trowing a smoke bomb to Gaara who intercepted it with a sand-made whip, making it expode.

From the cloud Naruto and four clones dashed forward using their blades to cut down the sand replicas and approaching Gaara

"You can't win! I'll kill you! **Sabaku no Kyu!**" Yelled Gaara encasing the five blonds in a cocoon of sand and clenching his hand in a claw

"I...I can't move!" Naruto said struggling against the jutsu

"BROTHEEEER!" Yelled Sakura and Sasuke

"**Sabaku no Sousou!**" Clenching his hand into a fist Gaara made the five cocoon compress before exploding in a shower of sand

"Where is his blood? I can't see it!" Gaara asked seeing only sand after his attack.

A pair of hands covered in a red bubbling aura reached out of the sand grabbing Gaara and taking him underground

"MAYBE BECAUSE I'M ALIVE! **Doton: Shinjū Zanshu no Jutsu !**"** (****Earth Release: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique) **came Naruto's voice as he jumped out

"I taught him that!" proudly said Kakashi puffing his chest out in pride.

"It's useless! I'll get free and kill you!" angrily said Gaara.

"It would be easy to believe that if not for the fact that nor you nor anyone else sensed me! My body can cut completely off my energy out-put, I can be invisible even for a Kage like that!" Naruto said running thorough hand-seals

"GRRAAAH!" yelled Gaara as the sand started rippling around him

"NOT SO FAST! **DOTON: YOMI NUMA!**" yelled Naruto slamming his hands on the ground and overcharging the jutsu with the Fox Chakra, not only turning the sand into mud, but turning it into a somehow "living" swamp that other than keeping Gaara under it, was trying to actually strangle him with what looked like hands grabbing his head to drag him further down.

"And I taught him that" Jiraiya said equally proud.

"Oh by the way! I took my time for a little extra...Tenten-hime! That's for you! **KATSU!**" smiling at Tenten he put his hands in a Ram seal yelling out the command Naruto ignited the several dozen explosive notes he had positioned around Gaara before grabbing him

In a loud explosion a ball of fire engulfed Gaara launching him up into the air, his body sporting few cracks showing that a sand armour was protecting him.

On a side note...an huge heart with "N+T" in its middle was burned on the ground with fire still burning on the letters.

"That's so sweet!" giggled Tenten as the Suna boy finally crushed on the ground

"I...I will prove my existence!" yelled Gaara as a dome of sand started forming around him, protecting the boy.

"Yo! Foxy! Need some help to spice things up!" Naruto mentally asked to the fox

"**UMPF!...Fine! But I want some action with the snake Psycho, the Pink monster and the weapon user girl...at the same time!**" demanded the Kyuubi

"I'll try to have that...can we focus now?" asked Naruto in a sweat-drop

"**Go and kick his ass my vessel!**" yelled the Fox giving its power to the boy that was covered in a chakra cloak.

"GET READY!" yelled Naruto sprinting forward cutting thorough the spears Gaara was launching at him.

"WAAAAAH!" screaming Naruto trusted the blades inside the dome earning a painful scream from Gaara.

As the dome collapsed Gaara was grasping his stomach in pain as blood was flowing freely, before fainting from the shock.

"Winner of the fight: Naruto Namikaze-Seijin!" yelled Genma.

"**GGRAAAAAAAH!**" Gaara yelled in a demonic voice as sand started converging on him, turning his face in a devilish grin as feathers were falling on the arena.

"**Five pronged Seal**!" yelled Jiraya hitting the Suna jichuriki on the stomach with five fingers coated in a purple energy and making Gaara collapse to the ground unconscious before an ANBU captured him.

"A GENJUTSU!" yelled Hiruzen as an explosion engulfed the Kage booth.

Orochimaru, the traitor Sannin showed himself behind the mask of the Kazekage as he forced the old Hokage to fight inside a purple barrier of energy.

"TEAM 7! HERE!" Yelled Kakashi calling the trio

"WE ARE READY!" yelled the boys getting in front of him.

"Sasuke! Naruto! You two will keep at bay the enemy while Hokage-sama fights with the traitor while me and Sakura will help the civilians taking shelter, now go!" ordered Kakashi as his helmet snapped closed and he and the demonic pink girl dashed in the middle of the enemy horde, killing in dozen.

"Suke! Take this!" Naruto said happily giving a bow to the Uchiha

It was a complex-looking, metal-made bow, a big cylinder where the arrow was held and a lever to aid in flexing the three ropes. (**The bow from Crysis 3**)

"I had Tenten's father made this and after tampering a little with it and the infos I had memorized on the suit before destroying everything I managed to have it to cloak as well" Naruto said

"...Thank you" muttered the boy

"A late birthday present...I have this instead!" Naruto said taking out an "L" shaped metal device

"What's that?"

"It was called _Stun gun_, it can shot arrows filled with a sleeping drug...Now Let's Go!" yelled Naruto sprinting towards Hiruzen

"Wait for me!" yelled Sasuke shooting an arrow and nailing a Sound Nin to the wall

"Maybe it's better lower the draw weight" muttered Sasuke recovering the arrow.

"Fifty-three!...Fifty-four!...Fifty-five!" counted Naruto cutting down enemies with a blade or shooting them with the gun.

"CHEATER! You started before me! Forty-nine!" yelled outraged Sasuke

**Purple barrier**

"This is the end of this pathetic village sensei!" said Orochimaru cackling

"No instead! The Will of Fire will always burn no matter what you do today!" answered Hiruzen summoning Enma in his staff form.

"Very well! I'll show you how I'll destroy this place! **Edo Tensei! (impure world resurrection)**" Orochimaru yelled slamming his hands on the roof to summon three coffins with "first" "second" and "fourth" written on it.

"Now you will fight with some known faces!" laughed Orochimaru as the lids opened, but to his surprise three Oto nin's corpses fell helplessly on the ground.

"You know? I decided to protect the corpses with special seals to stop any attempt to use that jutsu...after all it was the second Hokage to create that technique, he had as well few tricks to stop anyone from using it on him or his brother" Hiruzen said smiling deviously.

"DAMN YOU! DIE!" yelled enraged the Sannin holding the Kusanagi blade and charging at him.

Parring the blade with the staff Hiruzen pushed the Snake away before blurring in hand-seals.

"**Katon: Karyū Endan! (fire dragon flame bullet!)**" yelled the old man spitting three huge fireballs shaped as dragon's heads.

"**Doton: Mud wall!**" inhaling deeply Orochimaru spitted a river of mud creating an high wall in front of him to try and protect himself from the explosion that resulted from the two jutsus clash

Without waiting for the smoke to settle Hiruzen dashed forward hitting orochimaru on the chest making him impact with the barrier, but before he could get burned into nothing from his mouth another body was spat out.

"Always the one with the most disgusting techniques...just like that body stealing one you used to get that face" said Hiruzen

"I am close to achieve immortality sensei...soon I will live forever!" the Sannin laughed madly

"...In the body of a woman?" Hiruzen asked out of the blue making Orochimaru face fault

"It's only momentary...and I haven't any other better candidate at the moment" answered the man

"Did...did you have a period as well?" Sarutobi asked

"What!?" asked the wide eyed Sannin blushing

"The period...did you had one? What about the back problems?" Hiruzen asked again pointing at the quite big breasts Orochimaru was sporting now that the bandages he was wearing were damaged by the fight.

"...You have no idea...NO! I MEAN!" started saying Orochimaru before yelling frantically

"So even the Mighty Ororchimaru is a pervert! HA! And you used to belittle Jiraiya for his peeping, I bet you even took some _Naughty_ pictures of that body for "later" use...am I right?" chuckled the old man

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" yelled Orochimaru making few pictures falling from his back pocket.

Picture of a long haired woman lustfully sucking on a big rosy dildo while fingering herself, and that was the TAME one above the group.

"GACK!" screamed Orochimaru trying to recover his smut.

"OH GOD YOU DID IT! HAHAHAHA! You-You even took them with you! During an invasion nonetheless! HAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Hiruzen while trying to not fall on his knees.

The four ninja creating the barrier were chuckling as well while the ANBU were silently smirking at the prospect of blackmailing a Sannin with that information.

"SHUT UP! AT LEAST I HAVE A NICE ASS! NOT THAT _CONTINENT_ YOUR LATE WIFE USED TO CALL A BUTT!" yelled enraged Orochimaru

"HEY! Minushi (I don't remember Hiruzen's wife name, sorry) had a lovely bum! HOW DARE YOU INSULT HER!" yelled Hiruzen charging at him fiercely.

"Maybe that wasn't a Good Idea!" mentally screamed the Sannin while desperately dodging the staff while trying to hit the furious Hokage.

His wife _Slightly_ larger than normal (read: FUCKING HUGE!) ass was a touchy subject that cost few ANBU a stay in the hospital whenever touched, that's why talking about it was considered "Act of Treason" by Hiruzen, even now Danzou wouldn't dare speak about it...even the death-evading technique **Izanami** had its limits.

"I won't be defeated! Die!" yelled Orochimaru piercing Hiruzen arm with the Kusanagi, smirking in victory.

What he didn't expected was Hiruzen BITING OFF HIS OWN ARM before the poison could go further, use a small **Katon** to close the wound and grab the still embed sword with his other arm before piercing Orochimaru's skull with it, planting the tip of the blade on the roof bending the Snake Sannin back so much to brake his spinal cord.

"NO ONE!" Sarutobi yelled stomping on the blade making it go further down the roof "INSULT!" he stomped again on the Traitor stomach opening it in a splash of gore, Killer Intent washing all over the village "MY MINUSHI-CHAN!" grabbing his staff he crushed whatever were the remains of Orochimaru's Head "AAAAAASSSSSSS!" finally screamed at the top of his lungs using a **Katon:Gōryūka no Jutsu! (Great Dragon Fire Technique!)** to burn Orochimaru miserable rests into dust he then scattered to the wind.

"YOU FOUR!" Hiruzen yelled again at the four nin holding the barrier that were now sweating profusely.

"DROP THIS FUCKING BARRIER AND SURRENDER! **NOW!**" Sarutobi's voice got a slightly demonic tone while screaming at them

"R-ROGER!" the scared four yelled before dropping the barrier and letting the still shaking ANBU to arrest them.

"Damn Jiji! You should yell so much! It may be bad for your heart!" said an exasperated Naruto, he had seen him like that so much to not be anymore surprised by it.

"...Hu? Aah! Yeah you are right Naru-kun, but that is something that I still can't stand" answered the old man smiling tenderly at his surrogate-grandson.

"Are you okay Hokage-sama? What about your arm?" asked Sasuke

"This? Well...my brain is only now taking into account the pain of both the tearing away and the burning of the wound...so I'll faint from the shock now, please take care of the rest" calmly said Hiruzen before fainting and making the presents sweat-drop at his antics

"Wow...all of this only because Minoshi-baa-chan ass was as big as Kumo" muttered Naruto remembering a picture of the woman and making Sasuke chuckle

"It's...not...big" muttered the aged Hokage still uncounscious.

**Konoha streets**

"Sakura! The enemy is retreating! Let them surrender!" said Kakashi while dodging one last attack from a Sound Ninja he then punched into a wall.

He had learned the hard way that the suit could protect him completely only until it doesn't over-heat, then it would momentarily act as a normal metal suit meaning that explosion could still heavily damage him, but other than few bruises, cuts and burn marks here and then he was fine.

"**But! We wanna play a little mooore!**" whined the demonic Sakura while beating into a bloody pulp two Suna ninja using a third one as a mace, man that was now openly crying and begging her to let him go.

"No Sakura! Be a good girl and let them go! Behave and I'll have your two brothers and girlfriends give you and extra loving time" calmly said Kakashi opening his book and starting reading, giggling from time to time.

"**Really? Can we have a _Shadow clone Gang-bang_ too?**" Sakura asked hopefully

"We'll see...now let those idiots go" answered the cyclops turning the page while kicking a fleeing Suna nin in the face making him fly away

"**We'll be good! And you others! GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR VILLAGE!**" yelled the girl making the invading forces stumble a bit before darting away like bats out of Hell.

"Pussies!" Sakura muttered turning back.

**Three days later – Konoha Hospital**

Hiruzen had finally woken up from his coma-like state, apparently a little bit of poison was still on his system, but in a so small dosage that the medics managed to purge it from his body.

He was now sitting on his hospital bed, around him Team 7 and Jiraiya

"So what now Jiji? Can you still fight with only an arm?" Naruto asked

"In theory I'm still good, but I decided to find a substitute, before fainting once you bought me here I managed to order and ANBU to sent a message to Tsunade, begging her to come back" answered Hiruzen

"Are you sure she will accept sensei? She swore to never come back" said Jiraiya

"Actually...I told her Naruto was alive and..." trailed off Hiruzen

"And?" asked Naruto

"Well...I told her that I faked your death in order to hide your existence from your father's enemies...and I _May_ have left my toungue slip on a certain operation she made" Hiruzen said in a low voice

"You told her it was me? What if she hates me for doing that to my body and actually decide to NOT come back?" asked Naruto

"I thought" started saying Hiruzen before the whole hospital started trembling.

Far away, out of Konoha, an huge cloud of smoke could be seen coming towards the village, before Hizumo and Kotetsu could react, the stone gate was throw out of his hinges as a figure kept running towards the hospital, tearing down walls and shops that were on its way.

Civilians and shinobi alike were launched on the air from that sprinting blur as they cuoldn't make room fast enough, the ANBU that appeared so to stop this human cyclone were instead ran over and/or throw away like rag dolls.

The figure finally came in front of the hospital, without stopping it jumped high, crashing through the window and tackling a still shocked Naruto to the ground, choking himto death in an iron embrace by a blond, pig-tailed woman.

As she stopped another woman with a black kimono and a pet pig crashed against the opposite wall leaving a human(and pig)-shaped dent in it.

"NARU-CHAN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? DOES THE LEG STILL GIVES YOU PROBLEMS? AND THE BLOOD PRESSURE? AND THE GLASSES YOU PUT ON YOURSELF? YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED ME! IT'S A MIRACLE YOU DIDN'T DAMAGED ANY NERVE!" yelled Tsunade shaking the boy while checking on him at the same time

"Stop spoiling him woman! He is not a baby anymore!" Jiraiya said looking at her

"SHUT UP! You should have told me he was alive! And why you three didn't told me he was my patient?" Tsunade asked to Sakura and Sasuke

"We wished to enroll in the ninja academy, we feared you would have took him away if the fact he was your godson was revealed" answered Sakura

"Still you could have told me! Is he alright? Does he eat well?" sehe asked checking on him again

"I doubt even Kushina could have been so apprehensive with him" joked Hiruzen

"She choose me for that reason! She knew I could have loved him like a son" answered the Slug Princess

"Now calm down! I called you to take the mantle as Hokage after me, do you accept?" Sarutobi asked

"I was planning to just take him and those two and leave the village" Tsunade said

"Kaa-chan! PWEASE!" Naruto asked in his best puppy-dog eyes expression, Sakura and Sasuke joining immediately afterwards.

"UUUHM...It's not that I can't accept" Tsunade trailed off watching elsewhere

"PWEASE!" Hiruzen and Jiraiya said too, still with a puppy-eye look on their faces

"DAMN IT! Okay-okay, but I don't want to do that damned paperwork!" whined the woman

"Sorry for you! But those three won't spit out the secret to defeat it no matter what" said Hiruzen smiling deviously

"Just use **Shadow Clones**, they will read everything, dispel so to transfer the information to a second group of clones that will then sign the papers, since they are a part of you they will act as it is in fact you to read and fill...four should be enough" Naruto said with a grin

"Thank you Naru-chan!" Tsunade said hugging her Godson

"DAMN YOU!" yelled Hiruzen

"Sweet revenge" proudly said Sasuke.

**End of the Chapter ^^**

**Omake – BE A MAN!**

It was an hot Monday after the invasion, in the Seijin Clan compound Team 7 and soul-mates were _enjoy themselves_, while Kakashi was doing the same with Yugao.

**Master Bedroom**

The door of the bathroom slammed open as Naruto and Sasuke bolted inside, trembling and sweating before closing it.

"I won't go out there!" faintly said the blond, stealing glances to the door that was keeping them away from a rabid-horny Anko, Sakura, Tenten and Haku

"Me neither! Those four will kill us with sex! They must have planned it, I'm sure!" answered Sasuke leaning to the sink since his legs were like jelly.

"Did you see that gleam in Anko's eyes? She is planning something!" frantically said Naruto

"Haku had a sealed scroll with _Toys_ written on it...I don't wanna know what's inside" whimpered the last loyal Uchiha

"**_KIT!/MARINE!_**" came two voices inside the boys heads

"Kurama?" asked Naruto aloud

"Prophet?" asked Sasuke

"_**WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU SCARED OF SOME VIXENS? WHAT ARE YOU, A FUCKING LOSER? YOU ARE MY VESSEL! I USED TO FUCK FEMALES FOR WEEKS TO NO END WHEN I WAS FREE AND I WANT YOU TO DO THE SAME! I HAVE A REPUTATION TO DEFEND!**_" bellowed the Kyuubi

"_**Show some back bone! You are a man! A Marine! We are **_**Semper Fidelis!**_** And not only to our country but to ourselves too! Now I want you to go in that room and show to that Snake psycho and Ice user who is in charge! Am I understood!?**_" ordered the ex-soldier

"B-B-But" stammered both boys

"_**I CAN'T HEAR YOU!**_" yelled both voices

"SIR-YESSIR! KURAMA-SENSEI!" yelled Naruto

"YESSIR PROPHET-SENSEI!" yelled Sasuke

"**_NOW GO AND MAKE US PROUD!_**" ordered the two voices

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked

"Sasuke?" the blond asked

"SHARINGAN!" yelled the Uchiha making his eyes turn red with spinning tomoes

"RRRRAAAAAARRRGH!" yelled Naruto covering himself with a two-tailed chakra cloak

"**KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU!**" yelled both boys as six clones of each appeared, all with sharingan and Kyuubi cloak

"WE WON'T LOSE!" came their war-cry as they pounced on the smiling women.

**The next day**

"I can't feel my legs" groaned Naruto while sitting on the couch in the living room

"I'm not even sure to still have legs, brother" muttered Sasuke holding an ice-bag on his sore crotch

"We showed them! Hehehe" weakly laughed the blond

"After that...they should be satisfied for a loooong time" answered Sasuke

"BOOOOOOYS! WE ARE READY FOR THE BIIIIIIS!" came the sing-song voice of Sakura as the four women appeared behind them.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" came the desperate scream of the two boys as they were dragged to the bedroom where they would disappear fro the whole week.

**With this the chapter is complete! Before you start complaining I'll say right away that Tsunade motherly reaction was a one time deal, she will act more on canon from now on, next chapter will be a little introduction at the sage training and then start immediately after the time-skip. **

**Next update will be for "sexy Umbra wizard" that I'll start writing after posting this, if you have any idea you wish to tell to make the story better don't hesitate to tell in the review, I hope you enjoyed reading this as I did while writing ^^**

**See ya in space, cow-boy! ^^**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yo! Chapter 4 is here and he is rocking! More or less, by the way, this one will end with the ever mandatory Time-Skip, it contains few things I got here and there on Internet, the first one to give me a list of where I took them from will win a one night stand with one of the girls of the Naruto anime ^ ^ (or a cookie, depending on which one you prefer). **

**Let's begin!**

**some infos: Pairing**

**Naru/Ten**

**Sasu/Haku**

**Saku/Shino and Neji ( why only a man has to have more than one lover? ^^)**

" **You bastard"** - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything I used and will use in this story**

**Chapter 4: I Can Has Zage Training?**

**Valley of The End – Waterfall - **

Naruto and Sasuke stood facing each other on the heads of Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha, the blond augmented blond glaring at the Uchiha boy from the head of the First Hokage.

"You can't do this Sasuke! I'm going to take you back screaming and kicking if I must!" yelled Naruto in a confident tone.

"You don't understand Dobe! I MUST have my revenge! I need to kill Itachi for what he has done to me!" Sasuke said glaring back, his Nanosuit helmet shining in the sun.

"You can't turn your back on us just like this! What about our dream? And the village? You will just leave Haku like that? Just to follow the path of the solitary avenger!?" Naruto said angrily, the red bubbling aura of the Kyuubi's chakra encasing him

"You don't understand! NO-ONE CAN! I will do everything to achieve my goal!" Sasuke yelled charging the blond, his movements fast thanks to the suit.

"I will stop you! I will make you understand!" Naruto yelled charging at the raven haired boy

"GRAAAAAAH!" their battle cries echoed over the deafening noise of the waterfall.

As the two boys finally encountered running over the water flowing under the statue, Naruto opened his arms wide, a serious expression on his face as Sasuke was getting near him.

A fierce hug from the Namikaze stopped the Uchiha in his run, the result was the Sharingan user thrusting his head on the blond's shoulder before openly crying in despair.

"It was terrible...He was there laughing and I couldn't stop him!" Sasuke whined between sobs as he hugged his blond brother tightly, crying his eyes out.

"There, there...It's all okay Suke, I'm here...we'll get Itachi, we'll fight him together...Me, You and Sakura-neechan" Naruto said in a sweet tone caressing Sasuke's back.

"T-Thank you...Thank you..." the boy kept muttering with his sobbing calming down a little.

While this touching moment was taking place, from the shore Sakura, Kakashi and Haku were watching the scene, an annoyed look on their face.

"It's the third time this week Sensei...We are starting to get worried" Sakura said watching Naruto rocking Sasuke back and fort, trying to to calm down the shocked boy.

"Every time he has that nightmare about Itachi he tries to run away, forcing Naruto to come here and catch him to take him back" Kakashi said shaking his head

"What kind of nightmare is that?" Haku asked worriedly, her mood switching to curiosity as Sakura and Kakashi started chuckle.

"He sometimes dreams about Itachi and a certain snack..." Sakura said grinning

"IT IS NOT A SIMPLE SNACK! IT'S A FUCKING KLONDIKE BAR!" Sasuke yelled outraged glaring at the group

"Suke come on! Snap out of it!" Naruto said as the two boys were running towards the rest of their group.

"YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND! I saw him, He was laughing at me while surrounded by half-eaten Klondike bars, stomping on them while laughing in his mad fashion...EVEN THE VERY SAME GODDESS OF THE KLONDIKE BAR WAS SUCKING ON HIS SMALL DICK!" Sasuke said in rage, grabbing Naruto's shoulders and shaking him wildly

"The goddess of the Klondike Bar?" the others thought with a sweat-drop

"Suke...maybe you are over-reacting about this" Naruto tried saying again

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME! Last week you tried to attack Suna by yourself because you heard one of their Shinobi bad-mouth Ichiraku's ramen!" Sasuke said glaring at the blond

"THAT WAS DIFFERENT! That idiot committed an unforgivable Sin! It was my right to kill that infidel bastard!" Naruto said angrily.

"STOP THIS GUYS!" Sakura yelled making the two stop

"Sorry Nee-chan" Sasuke and Naruto said at the same time

"Good boys! Let's go home, We'll make you your favorite lunch" Sakura said smiling and taking both boys' arms under hers.

"Tomato salad?" Sasuke asked drooling

"Miso Ramen?" Naruto asked, equally drooling

"Yes and yes, be extra good and we will let you eat those...using US as a plate" Sakura said winking seductively at her Brothers, making the two blush crimson.

"They already have us, remember" Haku said glancing heatedly at her

"Tell us Haku, who out-fucked you and Tenten, earning the right to _Use _both Suke and Ruto?" Sakura said in a serious tone

"You, Sakura" Haku answered lowering her head in defeat

"Good, never forget that" the Pinkette said pridefully

"What about Shino?" Kakashi asked

"We paid him _a visit_ last night...but we still had to ask to our brothers some _help_ completing the work" Sakura said with a perverted gleam in her eyes

"Don't remind me...my hips still hurt" Naruto said touching his side groaning, Sasuke doing the same.

**Aburame Clan Compound – Internal Medical Bay – (I guess that a Big clan do have one, for minor _Cases_ at least)**

Shino was laying on one of the beds, his whole body sore and drained, he was feeling _Empty_ as his newly appointed "Girlfriend" ( and here he wasn't ashamed to have his heart do a little victory dance every time he thought about it) had come to pay him a visit. A Nightly visit.

To put it bluntly, she had fucked him into unconsciousness for several hours, riding him like possessed and _milking_ him on a level that even his hive fell in a sexually-induced coma, she had even forced him to brake a non-written Taboo of his clan, he had openly showed emotions instead of being reserved...he didn't know he could yell so loud or curse so much during the intercourse.

Now his father was checking on him, the usual Emotionless Aburame face back in place as he watched the actual clan head scanning his son's body with special bugs.

"You are recovering well, son" He said in a plain tone

"Thank you for the information, father" Shino answered back with an equally plain tone

"I also wish to make you know that I am feeling a strong envy towards you for finding a woman with a Lust of this Magnitude, you son of unknown parents holder of great Luck **(**_**Lucky Bastard**_**, if you don't talk Aburame)**" Shibi said nodding before leaving the room

"I can't believe my father used such vulgar language" Shino said weakly shaking his head, a discreet giggle escaping him while remembering what Sakura had done to him and his manhood.

**Seijin Compound – Entry - **

Tsunade was walking towards the compound, she decided to regularly check on the blond boy to ensure that the result of her operation wasn't giving the boy problems.

And she really hope to take part in the _Augmentation Business_ the boy had in mind.

"Artificial limbs for war victims, new means for helping cure most Illnesses...a lot of money from the operations alone!" Tsunade thought seriously, before shifting to a devious smirk once the image of a mountain of cash reached her brain.

Her secret Dream? Bathing Naked in a pool full of money, gotta love the mental image this may give you.

"**Go...away...trash!**" A deep voice said to Tsunade

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!?" she yelled watching _the creature_

It was a _something_ resembling a giant lizard or a crocodile, the long mouth filled with jagged teeth snapping at her from time to time, six legs covered in a thin, dark-green fur adorned with dagger-long claws, four purple eyes glaring at her.

"FLUFFY! Don't scare our guest!" Came Sakura's voice as the girl came out of the door

"**She is...disgusting**" it says watching at the pinkette

"We know, but you have already eat so go back to your bed and we'll make you play with another _chew toy_ next time" Sakura said smiling lovingly at the creature who snarled at her before entering a miniaturized dojo.

_Six-eight-two: Fluffy – was _written on a little sign near the _entrance_.

"What the hell is that thing!" Tsunade asked pointing at the creature with a shaking hand

"Clan Secret, but he is just our little pet! Sure, He hates every form of life, especially humans, but for some reason he tends to listen to Us and Ruto, our brother thinks that since he holds the Kiuuby and the Augmentations while We have the symbiont the two of us don't actually count as _Humans_ for Fluffy" Sakura said guiding the woman inside.

"Why did...Fluffy? Hate the humans so much?" She asked while entering

"He says that he finds us "disgusting" , as we said, Venom and Kurama the Fox are the only reason he listen to us, we are more "interesting" for him, that's why he never attacked us, but Suke and the others are forced to use the back door to actually enter and leave the compound" Sakura said smiling.

"What does _that_ eat anyway?" The Senju woman asked

"Pretty much whatever he can put his hands on: Meat, Vegetables, Iron, Steel, ROOT Members..." Sakura said counting on her fingers

"ROOT Members!?" Tsunade asked shocked

"Yeah, Danzo is still trying to have us brainwashed to become his weapons...we kinda let them try so Fluffy has something to eat, they are drones and more importantly...we don't care about them as they are beyond recovery...except that Sai...he is fixated about his penis, but we think he can be cured from his conditioning" the Pink haired girl answered smiling

"I'll try to have few ANBU discreetly dismantle it, I don't trust that old fool enough to not fear repercussions"

"That's good to hear Baa-chan! Want something in particular?" Naruto said entering the room, he was shirtless so his breast plates were fully visible, earning a scowl from Tsunade

"Some sake would be good...but I am still peeved that you didn't told me it was your body I was operating on" she said glaring at him

"...Ops? Come on! In the end it worked nicely, look at me, perfectly fine, but I can't find my clothes...Sakura? Did you know anything about this?" He said looking at the girl

"We don't know what you are talking about" Sakura said with an halo appearing over her head

"You are not fooling anyone, you damned Nymphomaniac" an equally shirtless Sasuke said entering the kitchen

"We love your bodies, so what! Your little sister wants to see you going around showing that wonderful flesh without impediments, at least make us happy at home!" Whined the pinkette

"Whatever...so Hokage-sama? What was so important to have you coming here personally?" the Uchiha boy asked

"That old pervert of Jiraiya said that several High Rank Missing Nins are starting recruiting other S-rank criminals for a still secret plan, not only that, but the other villages had apparently _stopped_ deploying their Jinchuuriki, keeping them inside their walls, we think that the two things may be linked" Tsunade said sitting on a couch

"Whatever...I'll go take the Sake, you two want something?" Naruto said walking in the kitchen

"No thank you, so...what's the plan? We have to close Ruto in a sealed room?" Sakura asked sitting in front of the woman

"Few of the councilors had suggested that, but I think that keeping him moving will be a better option" Tsunade said as the blond Seijin entered the room, a paper cup in one hand and a saucer in the other.

"Here we are, _a cup of Sake from Onoki's personal stash_!" Naruto said grinning versing the sake in the saucer

"Onoki's Sake? How did you get that?" Tsunade said drinking, feeling the High quality of the liquor

"Clan Secret! I can only say that our _Dispenser_ can pour in a cup everything that can be found in liquid form, and leave it at that" answered Sasuke

"Even gold?" Tsunade asked smiling innocently...her dress _casually_ showing up a lot more cleavage

"Good Tits, but it's a clan secret, we can't answer your question, even if you are the Hokage" Naruto answered smirking at her pouting face.

"Mean Brats! To think that I was gonna give you a nice mission" Tsunade said crossing her arms

"What kind of mission?" Sakura asked, seething at the busty Hokage

"Big Tittied cow! **Cha! She is trying to steal OUR men with those melons!**_** We should crush her before growing a pair of Tits like those!**_" Were the thoughts of Sakura, Inner-Sakura and Venom-Sakura respectively.

"We are in that period of the year where in Tea Country is held the **Todoriki Shrine Race**, as you may know it's an huge event where rich men from all over the Country chose to bet..." Tsunade started explaining

"You want us to protect one of the participants?" Asked Naruto

"No, I already sent Gai and his team to defend a boy named Idate that will take part, what I want from you is another thing" she said accepting a new saucer of Sake

"We have some rather _particular_ abilities, does it mean that you need those for this mission?" Sasuke asked

"Exactly, as I said a lot of rich men will be there to see the race, I need your _powers_ for a recovery mission" Tsunade answered getting into _Hokage mode_

"We are ready Hokage-sama!" The trio said equally seriously

"Good, Jiraiya spies reported about a secret auction where several secret documents, Historical Treasures and weapons will be sold, I don't think it will be hard to understand that those objects MUST be bought here at every cost" Tsunade said

"The **Raijin No Ken **will be there too I guess" Naruto said finally getting clothed

"That's why the mission is of the utmost importance, I won't leave the sword of my Grand-Uncle in the hands of some Fat Bastard just because he payed few ryous" Tsunade said leaving the compound, Team 7 behind her.

"Wasn't Rokushou Aoi supposed to have it?" Asked Sakura

"Yes, but few days ago the bounty on his head was cashed, but the man, that we captured immediately after he exited the office, said that he had sold the weapon to the Owner of the place where the auction will be held, maybe for his personal collection or to give it away, we don't know" Tsunade answered

"So in short, enter the place, Find the **Raijin**, rob the whole collection so to not put Konoha as the prime culprit and leave as fast as possible?" Naruto said closing his sun-glasses

"That's the sum of it, go collect Kakashi and start as soon as possible, I want those things here in the shortest time possible, but keep an eye opened in case someone tries something with Naruto or Sasuke, people may try to kidnap you two for the Sharingan and the Fox" Tsunade said as she returned to her office.

"So we have a mission then eh? That kind of thing...I think that it can be classified as an A-rank, not bad" Said Kakashi joining the group, the ARS Suit already on him, ready to fight.

"An A-Rank with the risk of meeting an Evil organization that MAYBE are hunting down Jinchuuriki...meh! Nothing to worry about then" Naruto said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"A normal ninja by now would have been nervous, we are three chuunin that are going on an A-rank...I don't think that it should be a normal occurrence" Sasuke said

"We were lucky the first time, in the end Zabuza and Haku joined us, this time will be the real deal" Sakura said seriously.

Kakashi's answer was punching the heads of his three students

"DON'T SAY THAT! I spent months training you, we are equipped with a technology never seen in the whole nation and a symbiotic creature that surely is not of this world, I personally saw Sasuke and Sakura tear away a man's arms easily and I know that Naruto can punch a concrete wall to dust...with something like this an A-Rank IS NOT a problem, just keep your guards up and remember your training!" Kakashi

"HAI SENSEI!" Team 7 yelled fiercely, a smile on their face before a far away explosion shocked the house.

"What the...ZABUZA! STOP TRYING DEMOLISHING THE COMPOUND!" Sasuke yelled enraged entering

"He is still playing with the _Very Fine_ setting down in the basement?" Naruto asked

"Apparently... he loves to put stuff in the machine and see what come out once processed like that" Sakura said as the rest of the Team entered the house to pack for the mission.

**Tea Country – Rich quarters - Tea room**

"Good morning! What can I do for you?" the blond Waitress asked with a loving smile

"We are here for some tea" a man with brown hair and long beard answered, behind him a woman was adjusting her glasses

"Do you have some preferences?" the woman asked leaning over

"I know about..._a certain _Green Tea that will be sold only today" the man answered in a whisper

"...Please follow me" the waitress said guiding them on the back

"What kind of green tea you are interested in?" she asked

"The kind found only in heavens" the woman with the glasses said in a serious tone.

Nodding, the waitress moved towards a wooden picture showing two men giving the back to each other, after removing a _square_ from the middle of the picture, she started moving the pieces with rapid gestures.

Once she stopped the central piece was re-introduced in the picture now showing the two men looking at each other, with a subtle _Click!_ The wall moved slightly out-ward, the woman grabbed an hidden handle to open the secret door.

"Please follow the stairs, down there you will find the room of the auction, please feel free to ask if you need something" the waitress said smiling before closing the door behind the two, moving again the picture in his previous state.

"_Here Copycat, we are inside!_" Kakashi said from behind his **Henge**

"_Here_ _Cyber-fox and Nano-ninja, we are ready to enter the Vault_" came Sasuke's answer

"_Good, we will kept you informed if the __**Raijin **__is here or not, remember, we must took EVERYTHING, not just the Nidaime's sword or Konoha will be the prime suspect_" Kakashi said to the trio

"_Are you sure the woman didn't saw that you two were using an __**Henge**__?_" Naruto asked

"_No, moving my glasses I attracted her attention, after that I casted a powerful Genjutsu on her using the Sharingan_" Kakashi answered dusting the short skirt of his pink dress.

"_Hey sensei?_" Naruto said

"_What?_" he asked

"_Nice legs and ass_" Naruto said snickering before closing the communication

"Stupid, flattering blond" Muttered the transformed scarecrow, blushing a bit

"He is right sensei, you have nice legs in that dress" Sakura said smirking from behind her bearded face

"Just shut up and walk" hissed her teacher.

**Tea Country – secret Vault – Sasuke and Naruto -**

In a steel panelled room stood the augmented blond and the Nano-Uchiha, they were looking around for the entrance of the main chamber of the Vault

"Where do you think they put the door?" Naruto asked

"I'm using the Sharingan and the Visor of the suit...HERE IT IS!" Sasuke said triumphantly pointing at the wall.

"Are you sure?" Naruto said getting closer, by now he could feel the _disturbance _of a Genjutsu on the wall.

"It's pretty well hidden...a double layered Genjutsu with seals spreading along the room the Chakra used for the illusion so to better hide it, this kind of things is not cheap" Sasuke muttered searching for the main component of the seal.

"Kyuubi is saying to pay attention, usually this defences have a secondary seal that give off an alarm when the main one is dispelled in the wrong way" Naruto said grabbing Sasuke's hands before he could dispel the illusion.

"Are you sure?" the Uchiha boy asked

"I have a Biju that was sealed inside two of the greatest Seal Masters in history...I think he knows what he is talking about" answered Naruto

"So...what are we gonna do?"

"The only possible thing since we don't know the right procedure...I'll use Kurama's chakra in an huge blast, overloading the whole thing, in theory it should _Fry_ the security seals stopping them from activating" Naruto said getting in front of the wall

"Okay, I'll guide you" Sasuke said guiding Naruto's hands on the main body of the seals.

"Here goes nothing!" Naruto said closing his hands and focusing the Fox chakra in his hands, covering them in a bubbling aura of energy

"I only hope that the suppressor we used on the room will stop this too" muttered Sasuke while taking few steps back.

"**Secret Technique: Fox Overloading!**" Naruto said making the chakra in his hands explode in a reddish flare, the sound of breaking glass signaling the disruption of the illusion, and huge metal door appearing on the wall.

"What's with the name?" Sasuke asked

"I'm thinking to use it as a wide-spread technique to disrupt any Jutsu in a vast radius...in theory jutsu leveled from D to C should stop working with the B and A-class ones getting unstable" Naruto said grinning

"And here I thought that you would have just stopped after creating few dozen variation of the **Rasengan**" Sasuke said smirking

"You too, how many version of the **Chidori **did you make? A Thousand?" Naruto shoot back

"And still...the **Oodama** **Chidosengan** was a good technique, we should use it more often" Sasuke admitted

"Me and you running towards the enemy with a spiraling sphere of Wind and Lighting in our hands, Bad-ass!...but we need a better name, maybe **Rasenchidori** or something like that" Naruto said nodding

"That's also true...so? How do we open the safe? WAIT! I have a plan!" Sasuke said entering the hidden room

Grinning, the Uchiha turned the Tactic Visor On, he will use the powerful computer of the Nano-suit, calculating the gear movements of the safe and the innumerable combination of...

"What about using the combination 16-52-43?" Naruto said calmly

"...How did you know the combination!?" Sasuke asked with a shocked expression

"The idiot left a post-it with the numbers on the safe" Naruto said showing the piece of paper he had founded

"That's...completely anti-climatic" Sasuke said with a sweat-drop

"Better than anything...come on! Let's start collecting the stuff here!" Naruto answered while preparing the sealing scrolls

**Auction – With Sakura and Kakashi - **

Their fear of being discovered using an henge showed completely wrong as the ARS suit was _stabilizing_ the chakra flow on Kakashi's body while Venom with its being _Alive_ could hide the transformation with its own chakra.

The only problem the transformed Kakashi was having were the shameless avances the man sitting near him was doing.

"Come on! I can give you a life of luxury" he was saying trying to caress _the woman's_ leg

"As I said, I am with Kamura-san already, I can't leave my work!" Kakashi answered

"My dear! Should I fear about you leaving me?" Sakura said smirking at her sensei's misfortunes

"I swear, If he don't stop this instant I'll shove a **Raikiri** down his throat Mission be damned!" a furious Kakashi was thinking.

"_Kakashi-sensei! We need more time! The vault has more than we thought! Few things are sealed in scrolls so we have to open them to find the __**Raijin**_" Came Naruto's voice in the man's communicator

Coughing once Kakashi gave the affirmative to the duo to continue.

"And now, the most prized possession of Konoha..." the responsible of the Auction said

"The **Raijin No Ken**!" Sakura and Kakashi muttered with wide eyes

"A pair of panties plus Bra, propriety of Senju Tsunade, Godaime Hokage of Konoha...directly from her laundry" The man said holding a rich looking wooden box containing a pair of white panties and matching bra, the outline of the pink initials _S.T._ Could be clearly seen on them

"WHAT!?" Sakura mentally screamed

"ONE THOUSAND RYOUS!" Kakashi yelled jumping up and frantically waving his hand

"Two Thousand!" A man yelled earning an angry glare from Kakashi

"Three Thousand and five hundred ryous!" another one said

"_Eleventy_ _Billion Zillion Quadrillion_ RYOUS!" Yelled Kakashi pointing at the box and making the audience gasp

"Miss, that's not a number" one of the responsible of the auction said making the audience gasp harder

"I DON'T CAAAAARE!" Kakashi yelled

While the discussion was taking place, an huge explosion caught everyone by surprise, three figures dropping from the ceiling, killing the men on the stage.

"Thank you for the **Raijin **and the other treasures, suckers!" The leader of the group said holding a sealed scroll before running towards the door.

"STOP THIS INSTANT!" Sakura yelled as she and Kakashi started following them.

Not before the scarecrow pocketed the precious underwear, giggling pervertedly while running.

"_Ruto! Suke! We are following three men, they have stolen the __**Raijin**_!" Sakura yelled at her radio

"WE ARE COMING! STALL THEM!" Came Sasuke's answer.

Launching a fireball, the biggest one of the trio blew up the secret door, behind him Sakura used her webbing to catch them, launching the trio through the wall and outside.

"Drop the scroll and surrender, comply and we won't hurt you too much!" Kakashi ordered as he and Sakura dropped their Henges.

"We are three against two...I say that YOU are the one that should surrender!" the Leader of the trio answered

"Make Four against three!" Naruto said as he and the Uchiha boy dropped behind them

"You can't stop us! We are the _Shadow Trio!_ There is nothing we can't steal! I'm Toshi, the Angel" the Leader said moving a flock of his long hair off his face.

"I'll smash you! I'm Kay the Boulder!" the Fat one said

"and I am Teki the Storm!" the midget said grinning at Team 7

"All right, soo...what's your gimmick?" Sakura asked

"Gimmick?" Teki asked

"Yeah, like the last guys, they were all misfit minions and crap. What are you?" Naruto asked

"We're just here for those treasures. Though if I had to choose, I'd say I'm the pretty one." Toshi said winking

"Eh, six out of ten." Sakura said smirking

"You sassy bitch." Toshi said scoffing at her

"That makes you the weird one with the freaky power…" Sasuke said watching at the short one, Teki

"I Attack using my tongue!" the little man said

"Spectacular" Sasuke answered

"And that would make you, no doubt, the big, tough, stupid one." Naruto said looking at Kay

"You take that back, or I'll kill you!" the fat man yelled enraged

"All right, all right, you're not tough." Naruto said nodding

"That's better!" Kay said smiling in triumph

"Naruto...didn't you…" Kakashi said

"Give him a minute, Sensei" the blond said

"...Heeeyyy! You son of a bitch!" Kay finally screamed enraged

"Seven seconds, at least he got it faster than the last one!" Naruto said smiling

"Come here!" the fat man yelled charging Naruto, the blond boy intercepting both arms before being pushed back.

"NARUTO!" Yelled Sakura as Toshi attacked her

"I'll show you the beauty of my techniques! **Katon: scorching hands!**" Toshi yelled covering his hands in fire and punching the girl, launching her back

"AAAAARGH!" the girl screamed as she could feel her whole body screaming in pain, getting up on shacky legs she glared at him.

"YOU WON'T WIN! **WE WILL BE THE STRONGEST KUNOICHI OF THIS WORLD!**" Sakura yelled turning demonic and charging her enemy, fist thrown back and coated in Doton Chakra, turning it into stone.

"So you will be my enemy then?" Sasuke asked as the helmet of the Nanosuit snapped closed.

"YEAH! I'll make you my bitch! **Raiton: Electric Spear!**" Teki yelled opening his mouth, his tongue elongating in an inhuman length and catching the Uchiha squarely in the chest with the lightning coated appendage.

"UGH!" acting on instinct Sasuke used the _Armour Mode_ protecting himself from the blunt of the assault, but losing the whole charge of the Suit

"Shit! If he kept using the lighting element I won't be able to use the suit...no! I won't be dependent on this! I'LL WIN BY MYSELF!" Sasuke thought before charging back at the little man.

"A-Rank nuke-nins...they are facing their worst possible enemy...Fire with Sakura, Lighting with Sasuke and Brute Strength With Naruto...come on guys! Show that with or without those powers you are the best!" Kakashi thought observing his students, ready to help whoever was having problems.

**Naruto Vs Kay the Boulder - **

"AHAHAHAHA! I'm going to smash you to pieces!" The muscle and fat mountain yelled taking Naruto in a _Bear Hug_, trying to crush him.

"A-A-AS IF!" Naruto said moving his head back and slamming his forehead against Kay's one, a metallic _Gong!_ Resounding on the impact.

"GUAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL!?" Kay yelled letting the kid go and clutching his face, a faint line of blood flowing from the impact point.

"I present you my _Titanium-Adamantium_ reinforced skull, fat-ass!" Naruto said running towards him, his hands already holding a **Rasengan **each

"You can't beat me, Brat! **Katon: Endan!**" Kay said blowing out an huge stream of fire, to his horror the flames phased through the boy.

"**Genjutsu: Reverse world!**" came Naruto's voice from Kay's side

"WHAT!?" he only had the time to say before both spheres impacted with his body, launching him back

(_A technique that confuse the brain, making it reverse Left and Right or Up and Down, depending on the Caster's Will_)

"Come on! I know that you used a substitution, Come out and face me!" Naruto said as the boulder he had hit with the **rasengan** was blow up to pieces.

"HERE I AM!" yelled Kay as he dropped from the sky, the force of the impact creating an huge crater and an equally big cloud of dust.

**Sakura Vs Toshi the Angel**

"What an ugly creature, a being of beauty such as me shouldn't be forced to fight such abomination" Toshi said attacking Sakura with a kick to her stomach

"**Ugly? We are not ugly and we are gonna show you while tearing away those hair from your head, pretty boy!**" Sakura said grabbing Toshi's leg and using it to smash the man several times on the ground before launching him away

"BUARGH! My teeth! My beautiful smile!...you insolent bitch! I'm going to use your ugly face to wipe my ass!" spitting some teeth Toshi yelled enraged, coating his arms in fire he launched another barrage of Taijutsu

"YOU HATE FIRE DON'T YOU? THEN I'LL BURN YOU TO A CRISP!" He yelled punching Sakura several times

"**GRAAAH!**" she yelled in pain before being launched against a tree

"DIIIIE!" Toshi yelled charging her and shoving a white-hot fist in her stomach, piercing her body and the tree behind her.

Surprisingly her body disappeared in a _Puff!_ Of smoke

" A clone!" Toshi said turning as Sakura's fist was about to connect.

Grabbing both her hands with his fire covered ones, the man was gleefully hearing her screams of pain

"**We...We won't surrender! NEVER!**" Clenching her teeth tightly Sakura bit down the pain and started squeezing hard Toshi's hands until with a strong **CRACK!** The man's hands turned into bloodystumps as they exploded under the Pinkette's powerful grasp

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Toshi yelled in pain falling on his knees

"**Now...we will...finish...our threat...ripping off you hair...bitch!**" An heavily panting Sakura said while trying to ignore the tremendous pain she was feeling in her bleeding hands.

**Sasuke Vs Teki the Storm**

"Come out, you pussy! I'll tear you apart with my tongue!" Teki yelled, trying to find the cloaked Uchiha.

"**Chidori!**" Sasuke yelled running towards the man

"IT'S USELESS! **Raiton: Electric spear!**" Teki yelled launching his tongue out

"As planned" Sasuke said smirking and grabbing the _Spear_ before pulling the midget towards him

"WHAT!?" Teki yelled as he was flying towards Sasuke

"A Lightning coated hand is immune to a Lightning Jutsu you idiot! **Katon:**** housenka no jutsu!****(Fire Element: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique)**" said Sasuke launching a volley of small fireballs towards his enemy's body, who managed to use a **kawarimi** with a near log.

"Little Bastard!" Cursed the boy as the tongue surfaced from under him, constricting his body in an iron grip.

"YAHAHAHA! I Hafe fyu fao!" Teki said triumphantly

"What?" Sasuke asked

"I fffaid: I Haffft ftu fau!" Teki said

"I'm sorry...I can't understand a word!" Sasuke asked again

"FFFFT!" Teki said

"Eh?"

"Fait a fifute!" Teki said letting Sasuke go

"I said: I have you now!" Teki said

"AAH! NOW I get it!" Sasuke said bumping his fist in his palm

"Thank youGWAAAH!" Teki said before Sasuke's fist slammed on his face, knocking the little man unconscious.

"And just because I am a sick bastard!" Sasuke said gleefully grabbing the man's tongue.

With a series of girly shrieks and muffles screams Teki found himself with both legs and arms tied behind his back using his tongue, the tip of the appendage then hosted inside his owner's ass that was now glaring at the Uchiha.

"I bet you don't like to have this kind of bloodline now, ne?" He said smirking at the scowling midget.

"FFFFucking Fhbrat!" muttered the man

"Man you were weak...who were you? The _Mizuki _of the group?" Sasuke asked smirking

"I don't know who this Mizuki is...but he sounds disappointing" Thought Teki

It was in that moment that Sasuke's world seemingly shattered to pieces as the huge body of Kay crushed Naruto's.

"AAAAAAAH!" an ungodly scream of pain rocketed the forest.

"**NARUTO!**" both Sakura and Sasuke yelled in horror as behind the smoke the big form of the fat missing-nin could be seen

"YOU! You killed my brother...I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU!" Yelled Sasuke as he started charging at Kay with both hands coated in the **Chidori**, the pain in his eyes nothing in comparison of what he was feeling in his heart

"**WE WILL KILL YOU!**" Screamed Sakura as she too started running towards the man killer intent roaring as a storm around her, her three personas demanding the blood of her Otouto's killer.

"Ugh!" Kay muttered as the two black blades currently piercing his heart and one of his lungs drew deeper, exiting from his back.

"Damn you Fatt-ass! You should eat less garbage!" Came Naruto's whimper as he was holding the man up using his arm-blades.

With a last whimper Kay fell backward, disentangling himself from the blades and hitting the forest floor with a deafening _THUD!_ Letting Naruto finally free to get up with shaky legs.

"BROTHER!" the duo yelled tackling him into an hug, Sakura openly crying on the blond shoulder.

"O-Okay...I don't mind all the affection you are showing, but Suke, I don't swing that way...are your eyes different?" Naruto asked using his free arm to pat Sakura's back while the other was being crushed by the sobbing girl

"Screw the eyes, you idiot! I almost died seeing that bastard jumping on you, you are not immortal!" Sasuke yelled punching the blond's stomach

"I can take care of myself, don't worry, I won't die anytime soon!" He said showing a foxy grin before Sakura's started glaring at him with puffy red eyes

"YOU BETTER! If you get yourself killed we will use the **edo tensei** just to kill you again!" the now human-looking Sakura said angrily, but mewling happily as both her brothers kissed her forehead

"How could I left alone my pretty nee-chan?" Naruto said smiling.

"Congratulations Team 7! you three never cease to amaze me! I already collected those three nuke-nins Heads and the **Raijin**, let's go back to Konoha so we can collect the payment" Kakashi sais with his usual eye-smile while patting the boy's heads.

"Sensei...are you wearing a pair of panties on you head?" Naruto asked watching the scarecrow

"...Nnooo?" Kakashi said casually while discreetly taking away the prized undergarment and pocketing it away.

"Pervert" the three kids said walking away.

**On the road towards Konoha – Forest - **

"I have to say that it was a nice fight, brats" came a voice from the trees

"Who's there?" Kakashi asked getting on the defensive

"Surrender the Kyuubi Vessel and we won't harm you" Said a second voice, making Sasuke going pale

"It can't be!" The boy said with wide eyes

In front of them stood Itachi Uchiha and a tall, blue skinned man, both missing nins' cloak decorated with red clouds waving menacingly in the wind.

"Not now...they are too tired to face them!" Kakashi muttered to himself in anger, ARS helmet closing around his head

"I'll stall them! Run towards Konoha and don't look behind!" Kakashi said getting in front of them

"You can't fight both of them sensei! They'll kill you!" said Naruto

"I know, but I'll be sure to give you three as much time as I can, just focus on running and anything else, THAT'S AN ORDER!" Kakashi yelled shoving them away and attacking the duo

"AH! As if your pretty armour will help you! Leader wants that Biju and I'll take it to him!" The blue man said intercepting Kakashi

"Kisame, take care of him, I'll fight the kids" Itachi said attacking the boys

"All Right Itachi! Come one scarecrow! My** Samehada** is hungry for chakra, I wonder if your will taste like dogs!" Kisame said grinning

"As if I will get scared by an over-sized Tuna!" Kakashi said, smiling at the furious scream of Kisame

"Tuna? TUNA!? Oh you are SOO Dead now!" the shark man said attacking furiously.

**With the rest of Team 7 and Itachi - **

"Foolish little brother, you can't run away from me, Leader-sama wants the Fox and I won't go away without it" Itachi said walking towards them

"Don't you dare take another step forward, Naruto is not yours to take, Itachi!" Sasuke said getting in front of the blond

"Your hate is not strong enough, brother, you need to fully embrace it if you want to kill me and get your revenge" said Itachi

"I assure you that I hate you more than anything...even more than Fan-girls and cockroaches, incredibly...but I won't let it consume me!" Sasuke said glaring at the older Uchiha

"Foolish little Broth..."

"DON'T CALL ME BROTHER! YOU ARE NO FAMILY TO ME!" Sasuke yelled, momentarily shocking Itachi

"What?"

"You heard me, Itachi Uchiha...I am Sasuke Saijin, clan head of the Saijin Clan and my Brother and Sister are Naruto and Sakura...I refuse to _spoil_ myself by admitting my being part of a clan of power-hungry, egoistic ass-holes with you being the biggest one of the group...because it was all about power, right? That's why you killed them all...just to achieve the higher level of the Sharingan! Simply disgusting...to think that I wished to be like you when I was younger!" Sasuke said spitting at Itachi's feet.

"You can't understand, Sasuke...but now let's focus on our fight, if you survive...maybe one day you will have all your questions answered" Itachi said in a plain tone.

If Sasuke's words pained him (and they did) he was using all his will power to not show it.

"As I said, you won't touch my brother! **Katon: ****Gōkakyū no Jutsu! (Great Fireball technique)****" **Sasuke said launching an huge fireball to Itachi

**"********Katon: ****Gōkakyū no Jutsu!****"** Yelled Itachi matching the attack with one of his own, the two jutsu colliding in an huge explosion of fire.

**"********Doton: D****oryūdan! (Earth Dragon Bullet)****" **Sakura yelled launching a stream of mud shaped like a dragon towards the Uchiha

Jumping high Itachi dodged the attack only to come face-to-face with a _chain_ of clones of Naruto, the last one with a big Rasengan in his hand that was slammed on the Nuke-nin's torso, making him disappear in a _Puff!_ Of smoke.

"A clone? Figures! It's never easy!" Naruto said before being forced to watch a pair of Sharingan eyes

**"********Tsukoyo..****"** Itachi started saying before Sakura's webbing covered his face and pulled Naruto's away from his grasp at the same time

"Otouto! Are you okay?" Sakura asked

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, for an instant I thought I was screwed, Thank you Sis" He said

"Good! Let's kick some Uchiha ass!" Sakura said grinning as she and the blond ran thorought hand-seals while Sasuke was fighting Itachi in taijutsu

**"SUKE! NOW! ********Fuuton: Air Needles!****" **Naruto yelled blowing out a storm of needle-thin wind blades

**"****Doton: Great Earth Pillar!****"** Sakura said summoning and huge spear of rock and launching it towards Itachi

As Sasuke jumped away to dodge the two jutsu, Itachi morphed his eyes in the Mangekyou stage again, glaring at the coming attacks

**"********Amaterasu!****" **he called out summoning a wall of black flames that easily destroyed the two attacks, protecting him

"What wrong Uchiha? Can't you fight without those precious eyes? If you ask me...they are a little overpowered in my opinion...you keep pulling new attacks out of your ass whenever you need, isn't it like...I don't know...cheating?" Sasuke taunted, his eyes still inactive.

"That's kinda funny coming from you...I wonder what would have happened if those two weren't at the right place at the right time...you would have as well tried to destroy Konoha out of spite after my death...even by _resurrecting_ Orochimaru in the event he was dead at the moment!" Itachi said letting a smirk surface on his mouth.

"Highly unlikely, Itachi, just like your success in capturing Naruto,**Katon: housenka no jutsu!****(Fire Element: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique)**" Sasuke said launching several shuriken coated in flames that the Missing-nin dispersed with another Huge fireball

"You are good, but you have a long way before being able to defeat me!" Itachi said before charging the trio.

It was in that moment that a Two-story High Toad came down crashing between them

"Don't worry kids! The Great Jiraiya is here!" Jiraiya said from the Toad's head, an uncounscious Kakashi on his shoulder

"Jiraiya of the Sannin! Why are you here?" Itachi asked from atop of a tree, Kisame now near him

"My spy network reported the presence of two Akatsuki members in the area so I decided to investigate, but I wasn't expecting to find YOU of all people" Jiraiya answered glaring at the two criminals

"Life is full of surprises Jiraiya, now hand down the Jinchuuriki and we'll let you go!" the heavily bruised Kisame said grinning

"I don't think I'll do that **Katon: Gamayu Endan!** (**Fire Release: Toad Oil Flame Bullet)**" Yelled Jiraya before blowing out a stream of fire as the Toad under him started spitting a great wave of oil, the two attacks combining in an huge sea of fire that engulfed a great part of the forest.

"Come back here!" yelled Kisame once the flames dispersed thanks to Itachi's **Amaterasu**, Team 7 and Sannin nowhere to be found

"Let's go back to the Base, Kisame, will catch him next time" Itachi said while calmly walking away, his sight slightly blurring from the Mangekyou over-use

"As you wish" Kisame answered walking beside him.

**Konoha – Tsunade's Office – Two Days later**

"So it's final then? Itachi is part of that organization too" Sasuke said watching the blond woman

"You all are lucky to still be alive, but their being composed by S-class criminals it means that we have to put your training up to a notch" Jiraiya said entering from the window

"Did you have something in mind Jiraiya-sama?" Kakashi asked

"Two words: Sage Training" Jiraiya answered

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked curiously

"The sage training is a particular kind of training were a ninja learn to use the Natural Chakra to boost his/her abilities greatly, we will teach you three to use that since Itachi has surely left Sasuke alive so to use his Sharingan as a spare once they are matured enough while Naruto will be hunt down to extract the Fox, Sakura will be seen as an obstacle in reaching both so she too needs training" Tsunade explained

"We? What do you mean Baa-chan?" Naruto asked

"I am the holder of the Slug Summoning contract while Jiraiya is the holder of the Toads one, we will ask to both Gamabunta and Katsuyu to take you to Mount Myōboku and Tashitsu Forest" Tsunade answered

(_Tashitsu means "high Humidity" I don't know the place the Slugs lives in_)

"What about me? I didn't signed up any summoning contract" Sasuke said watching at both Hokage and _Super pervert_

"This will be the hard part, having two of you taking the same training may be a possibility, but then the enemy may have an easy time dealing with the two of you in case they manage to create a strategy against it" Jiraiya said closing his eyes in thought

"You are thinking about Manda and the snake summons? Anko is the only one still able to summon them, and the Boss doesn't really like her" Sasuke said

"This not including the fact that he usually ask for an human sacrifice every time he is summoned" Tsunade said

"He will go without it then!" Naruto said fiercely

"I beg you you to reconsider...we are talking about a Boss summon here" Jiraiya said glaring at the blond

"Challenge him Suke! We will bet with Manda-teme that you will stay on his head for Twenty-four hours while he will try to shake you off, if he lose he will let you summon him for free otherwise we will pay the price in human sacrifices" Naruto said shocking the presents

"ARE YOU CRAZY!? THERE IS NO WAY I WILL WIN THAT BET!" Sasuke yelled shaking his brother.

"SUKE! Calm down! It's not Tsunade-baachan betting here, it's me! The one with a huge-sized lucky charm sealed inside, remember?" Naruto said grinning at the Uchiha's face turning from angered to awed

"...Now that I think about it...your luck was always pretty insane" Sasuke muttered

"What are you talking about?" Tsunade asked

"The Gaki is the luckiest bastard I have never seen Tsunade-hime...do you remember few days ago when those two ANBU squads were found crying in their quarters?" Jiraiya said

"Yes...they were muttering about lost allowance" the Blond woman answered

"Naruto challenged them, he said that they could chose a game he didn't know and play against him, the wager was their allowance and the next one of the successive month...they failed spectacularly" Sakura said, gleefully remembering the shocked gasp of those ANBU as Naruto finished cleaning their wallets with the last hand of cards.

"Really?" Tsunade asked in disbelief

"I have to admit that Poker is a funny game...to think that I never played before that bet" Naruto said grinning.

"We should visit few casinos sometimes, My dear, Precious Godson that I love sooo much" Tsunade said hugging the boy tightly, making the others sweat-drop at her poor acting.

**The next day – clearing outside Konoha - **

Team 7, Kakashi, Tsunade, Shizune and Jiraiya were watching as Sasuke climbed on Manda's head to start the bet, Gamabunta and Katsuyu were present too to act as referees.

"**Are you sure to want this? You are still on time to go back and accept my price!**" Manda said glaring at the boy sitting on his head

"As if! I bet I can resist for the whole day! And I intend to just do it!" Sasuke said scoffing at the snake boss.

"**What's wrong Manda-chan? Are you afraid to lose? HAHAHAHAHA!**" said Gamabunta letting out a laugh at the scowling face of the Snake

"**Don't you dare laughing at me, you insolent frog!**" Manda yelled glaring at Gamabunta

"**WHO THE HELL DID YOU CALLED A FROG!?**" Gamabunta said enraged

"**Please calm down! It is not the time nor the place to fight!**" Katsuyu said getting between the two

"**So be it! Will finish this discussion later!**" Manda said looking away from the Toad Boss

"Okay! The rules are simple, Sasuke has to stay on Manda's head for a total of Twenty-four hours while Manda will try to shake him off, there are no restriction except for lethal techniques or dispelling, is everything clear?" Tsunade asked seeing both Snake and boy nodding

"Then...START!" Tsunade said moving her arm down

"**Get Off me!**" Manda said as he immediately started spinning on himself and turning on multiple angles while shaking his head wildly left and right.

"I bet Sasuke will win!" Naruto said grinning, but internally praying that for once Lady Luck won't act like a bitch and abandon him when he more needed her.

"and I bet...UMPF!" Tsunade tried saying before both Shizune and Jiraiya jumped on her in order to stop "_the legendary Sucker_" from finish her phrase and ruin everything.

While this was happening, Manda was using every dirty trick his mind could came up with in order to throw Sasuke off balance, even slamming his head on the ground in order to crush the boy

"IT'S USELESS! I WON'T MOVE FROM HERE!" Sasuke yelled at the trashing Snake

"**WE'LL SEE!**" Manda said before smirking, with a sudden spark of inspiration he rapidly started discarding his _skin,_ leaving Sasuke standing on the old one.

"You cheater bastard!" Sasuke said as he started running on the falling skin before jumping high using the suit

"**I'm not cheating! Shaving off my skin is not against the rules HAHA!**" Manda said triumphantly, before the Uchiha dived down from the sky, the suit transforming the otherwise soft landing in an attack that surprised the snake

"**GUAH!**" Manda said has he could feel the hit on his head, disorienting him momentarily

"Then I will play dirty too, little worm!" the boy said grinning at the small lump already forming on the Summon's head

"**DAMN YOU!**" Manda said resuming the shaking, turning and spinning of his body.

After the twenty-four hour mark passed, Sasuke finally went down from Manda's back, hitting the floor without moving, his brother and sister rushing to him, only to start laughing as they could hear the raven haired boy snoring loudly

"**Well, I think you lose Manda**" Said a grinning Gamabunta

"**Shut up...just...shut up, have the boy be ready...I'll have a messenger snake come to the tower to give to the woman the details of his progresses**" the Snake said in a defeated tone before dispelling

"**Sore loser, well, I guess it's time for us to go too, tomorrow we will come to take the Gakis, have them be ready as they will be in for three years of pain**" Gamabunta said dispelling as well

"**Since Tsunade can't left the village I'll ask the elders to let Jiraiya come to check on Sakura, but he will be forbidden to see how the training works**" Katsuyu said

"That's good for me, I'll just check her overall situation once in a while" Jiraiya answered bowing

"**Perfect, don't worry, we'll pay attention to not overexert her**" Katsuyu said dispelling.

It will be a long period of Hard work, but the three kids will come back stronger than ever, ready to shock the world and earn the tittle of _Sannin_ for themselves.

**Omake – What else was in the forbidden scroll? Episode 1 - **

In the basement of the Saijin clan stood Team 7 plus Kakashi, opening one of the several sealing scrolls they took the night of the _Mizuki incident._

"I wonder what else was sealed inside it" Sasuke said taking a random scroll and opening it, revealing a pair of old headphones and a lantern.

"A lantern?" Naruto said wearing the headphones

"There was this little thing too...it looks like a golden statue of a kneeling man with a sword..." Sakura said taking out the little object

"STEPHANO!" came Naruto's surprised scream

"What?" asked Kakashi

"Sorry...I don't know why I said that..." Naruto said shaking his head

"Whatever...and this?...looks like a miniaturized barrel" Sasuke said taking out another object

"BARRELS!" Naruto yelled again

"CAN YOU PLEASE STOP YELLING LIKE THAT?!" yelled Sakura clutching her ears

"S-Sorry...let's seal those things back...I'm not feeling good at the moment" Naruto said giving back both Headphones and lantern

"Yeah, let's open another scroll, this one will go in the _don't open_ group" Sasuke said sealing back everything and taking a new one from the shelf

"I don't know why, but I feel so _Pumped_ about this" Kakashi said making the kids sweat-drop.

**And you? What do you think was sealed inside the forbidden scroll? **

**The end of the fourth chapter! ^^ I know you may say that I used all that Internet stuff just to fill the chapter, but I really used them just for fun and homage (I swear ^ ^) then again...they fitted quite nicely in the story, so why not?**

**I had few problems with my computer so I have to REWRITE the next chapter of both "Petals of blood and Darkness" and "Sexy Umbra Wizard" as well as the first one of the Prototype/naruto crossover.**

**The next update will take longer then, but do not despair, You won't have to wait long, have faith in me, as for the rest, review, favorite/follow if you liked, hope to see you next time.**

**Bye! ^ ^**


	5. Chapter 5

**HERE I AM! Back with a new chapter of the Amazing adventures of Team 7, today...let's see, they will kick some Akatsuki ass and do what usually the _Cool Guys_ do on a normal day of their _Cool Lives_.**

**I tried to focus the major part of this chapter on the fighting since those scenes are not normally my strong point so I tried to get better at it, tell me if there are any chances in me getting good, please ^ ^**

**By the way SINCE NO-ONE TOOK MY CHALLENGE IN MY PROFILE! ^ ^ I'm proposing something else entirely as my second challenge:**

During the forest part of the exam, Naruto intercept Orochimaru's bite directed towards Sasuke getting the bite himself, but while the Uchiha boy and Sakura are unconscious something unexpected happens, while Orochimaru was biting Naruto, the Kyuubi chakra and the Fourth's Seal start reacting with the Curse Seal of Orochimaru, completely _ABSORBING_ the Snake Sannin inside Naruto and giving the boy his knowledge and techniques, _killing _Orochimaru's soul in the meantime.

Details: he is already Dark Naruto/Evil Naruto well BEFORE the event and will hurt whoever stand in his way without remorse (He was Hiding his true nature because he didn't wanted Hiruzen bothering him for not being a smiling idiot et cetera, but now he HAS enough power to stop hiding his TRUE self, Kyuubi help out of fear of him- that's right Kurama FEAR Naruto and will do anything to NOT have him as enemy, no plans to betray him and such-)

He is smart just like Orochimaru, can do what he was able to do (Curse seal, _Spitting out _abody and transferring his soul and _elastic body_ as well) jutsu and medical knowledge included that he took after the absorption.

Girl or girls: I have no preferences in number of women in the harem or who you actually include (gender bending is okay too) as long as you make Naruto _Corrupt_ Her/them to be as evil as him it's okay.

bashing. Just if you want

Make him destroy the Leaf, conquer it, abandon it, whatever you feel like (Kabuto will follow his orders just like the sound four and Kimimaro, willingly or by Brainwash it's up to you)

Kushina is Alive and Evil as well, Minato faked her death fearing her revenge about using Naruto to seal the Kyuubi ( uzumakicest between Naruto and Kushina will be REALLY appreciated ^ ^)

**Let's begin!**

**some infos: Pairing**

**Naru/Ten**

**Sasu/Haku**

**Saku/Shino and Neji ( why only a man has to have more than one lover? ^^)**

" **You bastard"** - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything I used and will use in this story**

**Chapter 5: All your ass are belongs to Us!**

**Konoha – the day Team 7 returns from his training – Tsunade's office **

"The training period finally reached its end, it was hard, it was painful and it was totally worth any minute of it" Tsunade said smiling while drinking

"You are right, the final year was spent in the summoning territory of the Toads, Slugs and Snakes, I bet those gakis can't wait to return" Jiraiya said drinking as well

"Where is Kakashi?" Shizune asked

"He said that he would have waited their return at the gate, they should reach us any moment" Tsunade answered

**Same Office - Two hours later -  
**

"Sure they are taking their time, should we send someone?" Jiraiya asked watching the clock on the wall

"...Naaah! I'm sure they decided to celebrate between themselves, It's been three years since they last saw each other and their sensei, few minutes and they will enter that door" Tsunade answered opening a new bottle

**Same Office - FIVE HOURS LATER! -  
**

"WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE FOUR!" Tsunade enraged scream shocked the tower, making a bottle-submerged Jiraiya groaning from his alcohol induced nap.

**Suna – Outside the Main gate – same time - **

"Shouldn't we reach Konoha now? They may be worried about our absence" a Bikini wearing Sakura said slightly moving down her sunglasses while lying on a pink deckchair.

Her pink hair were now reaching her shoulders with two tiny braids framing her face, her figure was now more "feminine" with a nice heart-shaped ass and long, creamy legs.

And dare she said it? TITS! She managed to grow a wonderful and abundant pair of C-Cupped wonders! Oh, how she loved those two!

"I don't know Sakura-chan, they may try and ask us to show our results!" Naruto answered, he was now a practical carbon copy of Minato, even keeping his hair in the same fashion, the only difference were his metal _parts_ like his arms, that he sent to Tsunade a week before their "unofficial vacation" to have them modified to be of the right size.

"He is right, sister, they would have asked us to show the **Sage Mode **too...I don't know, it sound so..._Cliche_ if you ask me, don't you think?" Sasuke said adding his two cent, his hair were slightly longer, finally losing the "Duck's ass" hairstyle, he managed to link the nanosuit to some seals he tattooed on key parts of his body so to be able to wear it in an instant, he was currently only in his boxer just like Naruto since _casually_ both boy's costumes disappeared.

"True, but maybe I'll still send a message to say that we are okay" Kakashi said without stopping reading his book.

"If you say so, sensei" Naruto said shrugging his shoulders

"**They will still be angry, you know?**" Gamabunta said while using a reflecting panel to aid tanning his face, he was wearing a pair of sunglasses.

"**I'll talk to Tsunade, I'll ask her to be gentle**" Katsuyu said while keeping her match of Shogi against Manda ongoing

"**Are you sure I should go on without Human sacrifices? How should they pay me?**" Manda asked

"**Gamabunta asks for sake, I ask for massages, try one of those**" the Slug said moving a piece on the huge game

"**I'll go for the massages then, I don't hold the alcohol very much**" Manda answered before groaning at Katsuyu's move.

"Hey...weren't Itachi and Kisame's cloak black with red clouds?" Kakashi asked

"Hu-uh! Pretty hard to forget, why?" Naruto answered

"There are two individuals with the same clothing coming this way, the Akatsuki is already on the move? Aren't they earlier?" the masked instructor said while calmly summoning the ARS Suit

"If ever, sensei, we are the ones to be late, we prolonged the training of few months just to be sure of _polishing_ the whole work, are they as strong as Suke's brother?" Sakura asked fixing her gaze on the horizon, her bikini turning into her red dress.

"So much for our relax time" Sasuke groaned summoning the nano-suit on his body

"We are shinobi, Suke, our relax time is ALWAYS interrupted by something, and freaks with ridiculous clothing usually are the greatest part of that _something_" Naruto said wearing the pants and the shirt of his attire.

"Where is your coat?" Kakashi asked

"Laundry, that thing is only for dry-cleaning, I have to pay attention since there is no more an _Italy_ country from where I can order the fabric to repair it" the blond answered while stretching.

"Okay, maybe they are not as strong as Itachi or Kisame, but still they will be on the S-Class...who wants the living puppet?" Sasuke asked

"Living puppet?" Sakura said

"He is right, the suit is saying that the little one has a minuscule energy source in the heart area that is commanding the body using the one we are seeing...freaky guy, turning his own body, puah!" Kakashi said in disgust

"I'll take him, a puppeteer usually use venom-coated weapons, I'm covered by metal and the Kyuubi can help me should he manage to poison me" Naruto said

"We'll go with him, just in case the Fox is not enough we will speed up the healing while his clones cover us" Sakura said getting near the blond

"Good, I'll support the two group focusing a little more on Sasuke so to give him too the vantage in numbers" Kakashi answered

"Pay attention sensei, this club it's not for the ones that play favourites" Sasuke said

"I DON'T play favourite, Sakura and Naruto are already Two against one, if you want a one-on-one fight with an unknown S-class menace I can just wait and see how you three fare" Kakashi said faking offence

"Ok, ok...sensei? Would you be so gentle to help me fighting my enemies?" Sasuke said with exaggerated politeness

"Oh my! If you ask so gently how can I refuse!" Kakashi answered letting out a giggle

"Hey! Sorry?" the tall, blond man of the cloak-wearing duo said as they were in front of Team 7

"Just a minute, we will hear you in an instant" Naruto said as he and Sakura were calmly sealing back the deckchair they used and the picnic equipment lying around

"But! We were..." the little one with a long tail tried saying

"A minute! We are cleaning!" Kakashi said angrily while collecting the dirty plates and sealing them away

"**Do you need some help with those two?**" Gamabunta asked

"...No, we should manage, we'll call you if ever we need some help" Sasuke answered

"**Just pay attention you four, don't get hurt and don't sweat**" Katsuyu said disappearing with the Shogi set

"**They are in the desert, woman! They WILL sweat no matter what! Whatever, just don't get killed, brat**" Manda said disappearing as well

"**I'll take my leave too, I'll warn Jiraiya of this little meeting, crush them, Boy, I know you can**" Gamabunta said smirking evilly at the two before disappearing.

"Okay now, we are ready, what do you need?" Kakashi said facing the two Akatsuki members

"W-W-What do we need?" the blond man asked in surprise

"Yeah! Why are you here? The desert of Suna is not exactly the most entertaining place on this side of the Nation, so? What are your business?" Naruto asked smirking, action copied by his team

"It's nothing of your concern, brat! Just move away or we will kill you all!" the blond man said angrily

"Come on! You two don't even know us, you seems really strong so even if you answer our question it doesn't mean that you just can't kill us immediately after" Naruto shoot back, synthetic pheromones radiating from his body in waves.

"Uhn! Whatever! We are two members of the Akatsuki, Organization whose goal is to kidnap every demon vessel so to extract his or her Biju, entrapping it inside the giant statue of Edo Mazu for our master Pein's supreme plan of world domination. I am Deidara, expert in explosions that I can create with a special clay I mix with my chakra using the mouths on my hands to give them several forms to attack my opponents, this guy is Sasori of the Red Sands, master puppeteer whose weapon are coaxed in a special brand of poison of his creation, his most prized possession is a puppet he created from the corpse of one of the previous Kazekage, this one is able to manipulate the Iron particles in the sand...and I used to wet the bed until I was fourteen" the blond man named Deidara said sticking up his nose.

"DEIDARA! FOR KAMI'S SAKE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Sasori yelled in absolute rage with his tail crushing hard on the sand

"So you can yell? Here I thought you were an emotionless baka! You heard him, they are weak! We can kill them and hide those information" Deidara said

"If the little brat managed to make you spill out everything then it means the are NOT as weak as they said!" Sasori said

"Actually, Naruto's ability _forced_ him to answer, had he not used it then your pal would have just ignored the question" Kakashi said grinning at Deidara's awed face

"You verbally screwed me?" the blond man asked

"Absolutely...hey, can I have your autograph?" Naruto said unsealing a red book

_Katsu! The introspective research of our Ego inside the fading beauty of the Explosions_ was the title

"You read my book? Amazing! Here, let me sign it!" Deidara said ecstatic while snatching the book from Naruto's hands.

"You read his book?" Sakura, Sasuke and Sasori asked at the same time

"What? It's a beautiful piece of psychological analysis over the spectacle of the explosions and how they changed with the evolving of society awareness...can you sign my girlfriend's copy too? She is a great fan of you, her name is Tenten" Naruto said giving him another book

"Of course! Hey if you survive Sasori, in the last instant before your inevitable death I'll make you explode in an huge ball of fire!" Deidara answered

"I'll be honoured" Naruto said

"Can you two please stop wasting time?" Sasori said with a groan

"You are just jealous because he didn't asked you to turn his body into a puppet" Deidara answered sticking out his tongue

"Yeah, I have read your book too...too much self-proclaiming, after a while you seemed to focus only on how good it was to be a living puppet" Naruto said showing a new book, this one with a blue cover

_We are all puppets: how to find you internal puppet and bring it out_ was the title

"You will never understand the finesse and the elevation of my writing style, brat! You are just too ignorant to comprehend, DIE!" Sasori said opening his _mouth_ and shooting a storm of sen-bon needles towards Naruto.

The fight was finally on!

Moving rapidly Naruto activated the blades in his arms so to deflect the needles with Sakura running behind him

"I'll give you an opening, you destroy his body!" the blond yelled while turning the blades around

"Roger!" Sakura answered jumping high and smashing a chakra-coated fist on the ground creating a cloud of sand obscuring the view of the battlefield

"Normally that punch would have caused a crater to form, but this is good enough" came the girl disembodied voice

"It's useless!" Sasori said launching his tail in the middle of the cloud, the tip of the metallic appendage shining under the sun.

the _Clang!_ Noise was not what the Suna missing-nin was expecting

"Sorry, you took the wrong one" Naruto said cheerfully showing the tail constricting his left arm

"I can still tear off that arm" Sasori answered tightening his hold on the boy.

To his surprise, with a series of lament-like sounds, the metal of his tail was forming cracks and bending around the arm that instead was barely being scratched.

"My arms are a little _too dense_ for you I take it? Here, let me give you an hand!" Naruto said grabbing the tail with the other hand and pulling Sasori towards him.

Spinning on himself the boy was surprised to see Sasori disconnect the tail from his body, surprise short-lived as Sakura appeared on the puppeteer trajectory with her fist cocked back and an evil grin on her face.

"OOOOOORRRRAAAH!" She yelled punching the little body of Sasori, making it explode in a shower of splinters, but as the body inside it went flying, the previous _Hands _of the Missing-nin started emitting a sizzling sound.

"SAKURA!" Naruto yelled as both hands exploded in a purple cloud of smoke followed by a storm of needles that turned the surrounding area in a black cover of sen-bon

"I don't know how you two evaded that attack, but come out and face me" Sasori said showing his real body, a short boy with fiery red hair.

A little movement from under the sand signaled that something was indeed underground, few seconds later Naruto's body came into view carrying Sakura on his shoulders, several needles on the boy's torso and legs.

"Niichan..." Sakura muttered worriedly

"It's all okay...the Fox...is synthesizing an antidote...extract it from my blood" Naruto said with a strained breath

"We'll do it after the fight is over, can you still fight?" Sakura said running an hand on the blond's body, her healing chakra helping the fox

"Of course! Let's crush that teme, sis!" Naruto said smiling

"That's our brother!" the girl said cracking her fists

"It's still not over yet, brats, we'll take the one-tailed Biju whatever you like it or not!" Sasori said unsealing a new puppet wearing a tattered green cloth, the black colour of the iron sand permeating the air.

"If not for the fact that it was made using a corpse, I'll admit that the thing is really cool" admitted the blond.

"Thank you" Sasori said before making the Kazekage puppet dash towards them.

**Suna – Sasuke and Kakashi Vs Deidara -**

"KATSU!" with a mad smile Deidara was sending a pulse after another towards the two Konoha nins, making the swarm of clay-made crickets around them explode one after another.

"ANY IDEAS?" Sasuke yelled over the chorus of explosions

"NOTHING THAT WON'T END UP WITH ONE OF US TURNED TO BITS!" Kakashi yelled back

"So? What are we gonna do?" Sasuke asked finally getting close to the man

"I think we should stop him long enough to attack his arms" Kakashi answered

"Tell me something I don't already know" Sasuke said sarcastically

"I open-mouth kissed a horse once" Kakashi answered

"What!?"

"I have an Idea! Sasuke, use the cloaking mode of your suit to get behind Deidara, I'll use a special technique of my Sharingan to distract him, once there switch to armour mode and attack his left arm, try to cut it away" Kakashi said

"I'll do it...fucking sicko" Sasuke said muttering the last part with a green face

"DEIDARA!" Kakashi yelled coming out from his hiding spot, the helmet of the ARS suit covering the spinning of his implanted eye

"Ready to die?" Deidara asked from the enormous clay bird he was riding

"You first! **Kamui!**" Kakashi yelled focusing chakra on his sharingan eye making a vortex appear on Deaidara's side distorting his arm

"WHAT THE HELL!?" the Missing Nin yelled trying to make the bird fly higher in the sky

"BEHIND YOU!" Sasuke yelled appearing behind Deidara with a sword in his hands, cutting the man's left arm clean at the shoulder

"AAAAAAAGH!" Deidara yelled in pain making the appendage explode on the boy's face making him crash down in the sand

"SASUKE!" Kakashi yelled

"I'm fine...the suit barely hold the bang, but it was close" the Uchiha boy answered

"Two Sharingan users, you are Itachi's brother, right?" the man asked stopping his bleeding with his clay

"I am different from him, I'll never sold myself for power! **Amaterasu!**" Sasuke yelled summoning a black sea of fire that engulfed the bird making it explode in a fiery ball of fire

"Ugh!" the Boy said clutching his left eye, a little dripping of blood could be seen coming from it

_"____**Damages to the eyes, activating healing program?**__" _The suit asked

"Yes, please do" Sasuke muttered in response

It was something he learned during the training trip, the Mangekyou stage was indeed powerful, but at the same time bought a great strain to the optical nerve, problem solved by the suit that after a week long analysis Re-wrote itself to be able to repair the wounds caused by the Doujutsu using cells took from the rest of the body converted into a form usable to heal the eyes, but he was sure that Tsunade could find a way to prevent the suit from consuming him just to permit him to use the Sharingan.

"This is not over yet!" Deidara said as his body started inflating into huge proportions

"SENSEI! GET BEHIND ME!" Sasuke yelled while moving in front of Kakashi just in time for an earth-shattering explosion to engulf them, clearing the sky of any clouds in his blinding light.

**Suna – Kazekage office - **

Life was...pleasant, for the lack of a better term, to Gaara as the long, boring job as Kazekage was slowly, excruciatingly killing him with paperwork.

"Now I understand why they stopped attacking me directly, like this they can torture me before my actual demise" Gaara muttered as his sister Temari was pushing a new, high column of papers on his desk, making its poor wood whine under the stress of that paper-made doom.

"Sorry Gaara, but after this we have almost done" Temari tried saying to her poor brother who could only sigh in defeat while moving again to stamp on the documents.

"Tell me again...why I am still here instead of unleashing Shukaku on them for condemning me to this Hell?" Gaara asked

"Because deep down you love your village and its people...and for you to go into an homicidal spree it will need the proper document signed in triple copy and validated a month prior to said attack of blind fury, this if there are not other appointments in your agenda during that day" Temari said taking several papers from the stack to help him.

_"_Did I have anything to do next month? I feel like murdering everyone that day"

"Well...you should have..." she said jokingly watching the boy's agenda

"KAZEKAGE-SAMA, WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!" An ANBU said entering the same instant Deidara explosion shocked the office

"Who are they?" Gaara asked getting up

"Two men wearing a black robe with red clouds, they must be those Akatsuki members Konoha warned us about!" the masked man said

"Prepare all squad, I'll deal with them myself, keeping them out of the village!" Gaara said taking away his kage attire and tying the huge gourd on his back

"There is already a Konoha team fighting them, should we help them?" the ANBU said getting wide eyes from the red haired boy

"Who are they?" he asked

"Hatake Kakashi _The Iron Copycat Ninja_ and his team" the ANBU said referring to the new nickname Kakashi earned thanks to the ARS suit

"N-Naruto?!" Gaara muttered in surprise

"They are defending us, Gaara! We need to help them!" Temari said preparing her iron fan, Kankurou appearing in the room with three scrolls on his back

"Let's go, Temari! Kankurou!" Gaara said showing a stoic face

"ROGER!" both twins said following their brother and Leader out of the window

"Why does Kazekage-sama care about them so much?" the ANBU soldier asked while following the trio, other masked shinobi joining as they move

"After the invasion, once his seal was adjusted they gave him...the **Talk No Jutsu**" Temari answered shivering

"**Talk no jutsu?**" another ANBU asked

"It's a special technique of the blond member of that Konoha team, apparently he can talk to you about friendship and family, by the end of it you WILL become his dearest friend, forever" Kankurou said shivering as well

"Really? It's just a talk, I can't see anything bad about it" the same ANBU said

"That's because that is the FIRST level of the **Talk No Jutsu**! The next level is like the first, but with atrocious quantity of violence...they Literally _beat_ their Friendship inside your brain" Temari explained

"V-Violence?" another ANBU asked

"Gaara was _a difficult case_ to them so the three of them gave him their version of the second level of the Jutsu at the same time, after that, once Gaara came out of the rehabilitation they talked again, without violence, by the time we returned to Suna Gaara was practically their brother" Kankurou said making the group watch Gaara in sympathy

"It wasn't so bad, I was too blinded by my hate to see that I still have my brothers and that I could still show everyone that I am not a monster" Gaara said simply, making the masked shinobi switch their stare into awe

"Amazing! Such a powerful technique" one of them said in shock knowing well how Gaara acted before the cure.

"We decided to be their friends as well because our brother was finally back into being normal...that and they threaten to use the **Talk No Jutsu** on us" Temari said

"Naruto said that exist a THIRD level of the Technique...sometimes I wake up at night screaming because my mind tried to imagine what that must be like" Kankurou said looking around fearfully

"They must have labelled it like an SSS-class Jutsu, I'm sure of it" an ANBU said making the others nod their heads.

**Suna – Naruto and Sakura Vs Sasori - **

After the explosion caused by Deidara we found the blond boy shielding Sakura while the girl's webbing was adding extra protection to the two

"Are you okay, neechan?" Naruto asked

"**Don't worry, we are fine**" the Transformed girl said dusting away some sand

"Deidara's techniques should have destroyed you all from the inside, but I see that your teammate and sensei managed to drive away the micro-bombs" Sasori said from the iron dome he created to protect himself

"A Tear in the Time-Space continuum and some black fire able to burn everything were indeed enough" Naruto said smirking

"We wasted enough time already, it's time to die!" Sasori yelled launching his Kazekage puppet towards them

"STOP!" came Gaara's voice as a storm of sand crushed with the puppet, sending it back

"Akasuna no Sasori, you are hereby condemned to death for attacking Suna's ally and for your experiments on human corpses!" Gaara said moving in front of Naruto, Kankurou covering Sakura

"Needs some help you two?" the puppet user asked

"It's not a private party, everyone can take part!" Naruto said smiling

"**Where is Temari?**" Sakura asked

"She is with some ANBU helping your brother since apparently it wasn't the real Akatsuki member the one to blow up" Gaara answered

"Very well, Sakura? I think it's time for the **Sage Mode **to be used" Naruto said

"**Are you sure?**" She asked

"I see no other solutions to finish this quickly" he answered

"I won't let you do as you please!" Sasori said manipulating the iron sand into an huge cube he launched towards the group

"**Senjutsu: Sennin Mōdo!****"** (**Sage Techniques: Sage Mode!**) Naruto, Sakura and surprisingly Sasuke yelled at the same time

"**Oodama Rasengan!**" Came then Naruto's voice as the iron-made cube exploded under the spiralling sphere attack, covering everything with a cloud of smoke

Out of the smoke-screen the transformed duo walked out showing their new appearance, Naruto's eyes were now yellow with an horizontal bar-like pupil and adorned by and orange marking each, a little toad was literally fused to his back with its hands forming a necklace around the boy's neck.

"We thought that with the Kyuubi that would have not been possible" Sakura said watching the blond.

She now had a pair of antennas coming out of her forehead while her eyes were yellow with a cross-like pupil, her markings around the eyes were deep blue instead, a little slug was fused with her left shoulder.

"Technically yes, but we went around that by having Gamashiko here training with me, Kurama trust her enough to let her fuse with me, just like you, this way I will have no problems in gathering Natural Chakra" Naruto answered smiling

"That still won't be enough!" Sasori said using the puppet to attack

"I bet it will be enough instead" Gaara said countering the puppet's sand with his own, shaping it like Shukaku's hand to meet the attack half-way while Kankuoru was using Karasu to fight the puppet directly

As the two kind of sand were Fighting not unlike two snakes, Sasori was showing a great deal of multitasking by answering blow after blow to Kankurou's puppet while at the same time dodging both Naruto and Sakura close range attacks.

"He sure is good!" Naruto commented as the Missing-nin evaded another punch of his

"He is an S-class criminal, they don't give you that level just because you are pretty" Sakura answered as her kick finally landed on the man's stomach, the subtle sound of wood cracking was heard immediately after

"That's it, I'll turn you all in my next collection!" Sasori said angrily moving the iron sand to form a pyramid and a cube, as the two forms collided several spears were launched from the huge mass, trying to impale whoever was on sight

"I have a plan to destroy that thing, launch me in the air and try to keep him occupied" Naruto said

"Roger, get ready!" Sakura said grabbing the boy's back

"I'm ready"

"SEEEEEYYYAAH!" Sakura yelled launching him high in the sky

"What do you hope to achieve?" Sasori asked moving the sand to intercept the blond

"WE ARE YOUR OPPONENT! **Senjutsu: Sansei ame! (Sage Techniques: Acid rain)**" Sakura yelled spitting out several orbs of concentrated acid towards the sand, melting it

"Damn you, woman!" Sasori yelled attacking her with the puppet, luckily a dome of sand appeared around her courtesy of Gaara

"She is not alone!" the Kazekage said moving a tidal wave of sand towards the puppeteer

"I'm not finished yet!" Sasori said using the black sand to defend himself

"YOU ARE INSTEAD! **SENPOU:****CHOU OODAMA RASENTARENGAN!**" Naruto's yell rocketed the sky as he and and army of clones each with a **Rasengan** bigger than their bodies came raining down on Sasori, the man could only stare in awe as the dozen of luminous spheres were converging on him, engulfing everything in a bright explosion of power.

**Suna – Kakashi and Sasuke Vs Deidara - **

The surprisingly still alive, and breathing heavily, Deidara was still launching wave after wave of explosive birds towards the two Konoha nins, a new clay bird helping him evading the attacks of the reinforcement from Suna.

"The guy don't know the meaning of giving up!" Temari said using her fan to drive away the explosive attacks

"So it seems **Katon: Housenka no jutsu! (****Fire Element: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique****)**" Sasuke said launching several fireballs towards the Nuke-nin

"He is wounded and nearing chakra exhaustion, keep attacking him! **Fuuton: Renkudan! (Drilling air bullet)**" Kakashi said launching a ball of compressed wind towards Deidara who barely dodged

"Sakura and Naruto are preparing their **sage mode**, may as well do the same and speed up the things, cover me!" Sasuke said

"Hurry up!" Kakashi said as he, Temari and the ANBU moved forward to cover him

"It will take a minute, **Kuchiyose no jutsu!**" Sasuke said summoning a little snake that moved around his neck like a collar

"Are you ready Hebimaru?" he asked to the little summon

"**As always!**" the snake answered

"**Senjutsu: Sennin Mōdo!****"** (**Sage Techniques: Sage Mode!**) the Uchiha boy yelled in chorus with his brother and sister, his skin turning into scales with four protrusions on the top of his head, purple markings adorning his now slitted eyes and a long tail on his back, unsealing his bow the boy started attacking Deidara with explosive arrows

"**Chidori Ya! (ya – Arrow)**" Sasuke said shooting lightning coated arrows towards the Nuke-nin

"That's the spirit! Let's stop them!" Kakashi yelled as Temari managed to cut the bird's wings off with a wind-blade

"You won't stop me! KATSU!" Deidara yelled creating a clone of himself using his clay and making it explode, the cloud of smoke covering him from view

"Where is he?" asked an ANBU

"He is molding an enormous amount of chakra, GET DOWN!" Kakashi said before yelling as an huge bomb was dropped on them, tearing the ANBUs to pieces

"AH! I finally got you!" Deidara said triumphantly, a line of sweat marrying his face as his breath was getting always more heavy

"Don't be so sure" Came Sasuke's voice

"What!?"

"**Susanoo!**" Sasuke said as he, Temari and Kakashi were protected by a giant skeletal figure with its arms crossed defensively, said figure disappearing shortly after

"Are you okay, Sasuke'" Kakashi asked watching the tired boy

"Yeah...I'm still not used to this, but I'm close to master it, luckily the Sage Mode helps countering the stress of the Jutsu" the boy answered

"Then...since apparently you ass-holes won't stop...I think that retreat should be my next choice of action!" Deidara said summoning a new bird

"YOU ARE INSTEAD! **SENPOU:****CHOU OODAMA RASENTARENGAN!**" Naruto's yell came unexpected just like the shock-wave of his attack that dispelled Deidara's summon throwing the man on the ground

"AAAGH!" yelled the falling Deidara as Kakashi was instantly on him, the armour-wearing man's kunai piercing the Akatsuki member's skull, killing him on the spot.

"One down, another one still standing" Sasuke said watching his brother's fight

**Suna – Sakura and Naruto vs Sasori - **

"Is he dead?" Sakura asked watching the cloud of dust created by the attack

"I hope so" Naruto answered

"I'm not...dead yet" Came Sasori's strained answer, the right half of his boy was missing showing a bleeding cylinder with "sasori" written on it, his jaw was dislodged from his face on one side and an eye socket was now empty, if not for his being a living puppet he would have been dead.

"Stubborn bastard" muttered Kankurou

"You force me to use this...damned brats! **Akahigi: Hyakki no Sōen (****Red Secret Technique: Performance of a Hundred Puppets)**" from the heavily damaged right side of his body one hundred chakra strings surfaced, launching a sealing scroll up into the air the nuke-nin summoned its content, connecting the string to an army of red-dressed puppets now glaring at the group

"I used this...to take over a country once...they are connected directly to me...they will act instantly to my will" Sasori said stumbling forward, the puppets showing their weapons to them.

"We won't lose!" Sakura said running towards him

"DIE!" Sasori yelled launching the red horde in a mad charge, their clacking noises joining in a deafening chorus

"NO! YOU DIE!" Sasuke yelled shooting an arrow and piercing the bleeding component on Sasori's body

"Ugh!" the man muttered as the puppet momentarily stopped moving

"OOOORRRAAAH!/**Rasengan!**" Sakura and Naruto yelled as the blond was using his jutsu to tear to pieces the puppets in front of them, cleaning the road for his pink haired sister

"TAKE THIS!" Sakura yelled as her punch reached Sasori, going through the Nuke-nin Core in an explosion of blood signalling the Nuke-nin's death.

"Is he dead now?" Kankurou asked watching Sakura tear the puppeteer's body in half as she took away her arm from him

"I can't fell his chakra anymore, he is dead" Gaara answered

"Just to be sure...**Katon: Endan!**" Naruto said burning both nuke-nins body to ashes after taking off their heads

"And those?" Sakura said sporting two rings she took from them

"Itachi and Kisame had a similar ring, maybe it's important for their plan, keep them, I'll take Itachi's one once we beat him" Sasuke said watching the other two wear the rings.

"Thank you for stopping those two criminals, they were after me and my Biju, didn't they?" Gaara said

"Yes, luckily we decided to spend here some time, I'm happy to see that you are okay...Kazekage-sama" Naruto said smirking at the boy's title

"Drop the formalities, it's not your style" Gaara said shaking the blond boy's hand with a little smile on his face.

"Kankurou, we are sorry for your leg, we were so worried about our sister to actually stop caring about our actions" Sasuke said bowing his head

"Don't worry, the medics managed to save it, I have to admit that I was playing with her life after giving her a deadly poison, It was my fault too since I was acting like..." Kankurou said

"Like a sick ass-hole?" Sakura suggested

"I was about to say _Sore loser_" Groaned the painted boy

"Still we are sorry" Naruto said

"Don't be, we managed to explain why we accepted to help Sound to invade Konoha, now that we can have our share of missions our villages are ally again...just try to not exaggerate next time someone threat your family" the puppet user said shaking his head smiling

"Can't make promises we can't maintain" Sasuke answered smirking

"I think it's time to go back to Konoha, guys, the others may be worried" Kakashi said

"Just give me a minute, I want to write a letter to your Hokage saying how much did you helped our village...It should be enough to lesser their anger about your being late" Gaara said using a shunshin to reach his office

"I hope so, but I know that Tsunade-baachan will kick our ass all the same" Naruto said sighing

"At least she is a medic, she will be forced to cure us afterward" Sakura said whimpering

"Then let's move, no sense wasting more time before our beating" Kakashi said whimpering as well.

"Farewell, my friends! Remember, Suna will always be here for you!" Gaara said reappearing and giving a scroll to the masked Jounin, giving his farewell to them

"You too, you can count on Konoha any time, just pay attention in case other attacks of the Akatsuki came" Kakashi answered

"We'll say that those two killed Gaara, but that Lady Chiyo managed to revive him sacrificing an ANBU, like that the Organization will search Shukaku somewhere else after waiting for its return" Temari said

"Good, let's hope they'll buy it" Naruto said as the Team started moving towards the Leaf.

**Konoha – several hours later – Hokage Office**

"BUNCH OF IDIOTS! THOSE TWO COULD HAVE KILLED YOU!" Tsunade yelled enraged to Team 7.

After their return they were immediately summoned to the Blond woman's office for their late arrival, once there, their ragged appearance raised the two Sannin's attention, forcing Kakashi to tell them about their little _Vacation_ and the fight against the two members of Akatsuki.

Tsunade wasn't happy.

"Come on, Baa-chan! We are okay! Look, we even have their heads for the bounty!" Naruto said showing a sealing scroll, just like Sasuke he was sporting a black eye courtesy of both Haku and Tenten that after a moment of blind rage about their fighting were now smothering the two silly.

"This doesn't mean that it was right for you four to fight them!" Haku said while trying to crush Sasuke's bones in her hug

"Hokage-sama, they were after the Kazekage, we couldn't simply let them enter and do as they please" Kakashi tried saying

"...FINE! But next time I want you to return here in the established date and not going around doing who knows what! And just to be clear, if we spot other members of Akatsuki, in case you will dispatched to fight them you will go with a support team" Tsunade said angrily

"As you wish, Hokage-sama" Kakashi and Team 7 said bowing

"Good! Now, Gaara here said that you used what he heard you call **Sage Mode**, I take that you three mastered it, right?" Tsunade asked

"Of course, Tsunade-sama, we can summon a companion that gather Natural Chakra for us in order to use it!" Sakura said amiling proudly

"You too Naruto?, what about the Fox?" Jiraiya asked

"Pa and Ma trained a little Toad with me, it was difficult, but Kurama trust her enough to not harm her when she fuse with me, but just to be sure I had the elder Toads help me creating another way to use it in case of emergency" Naruto answered

"Another way?" Jiraiya asked

"Shadow clones, creating three of them I can have them gather Natural chakra for me by meditating, when I need I just dispel one and use the energy to transform myself, as soon as we are out of here I'll teach that to Sakura and Sasuke as well, like that we will still be able to use the** Sage Mode** even if unable to summon" the blond boy answered

"Ingenious, I'll give you that" the Toad Sage said smirking

"Thank you"

"Good, take the rest of the day to rest, tomorrow I'm still going to test you three" Tsunade said

"But we defeated two S-class criminal! Why isn't this enough?" Naruto said whining

"Because I say so! Now go, I have a lot of things to do" Tsunade said shoving the group out of her office

"She gets everyday worse, her old age it's getting the better of her" Naruto muttered

"As long as she don't choke on her denture we are fine like this" Sakura said making the other chuckle

"SAAAAAKURAAAA!" Came Tsunade's enraged scream

"SHIT! The old hag heard us! RUN!" Naruto said as it was his name to be called now

"DAMN YOU!" she kept yelling while the Team plus girlfriends abandoned the tower with a mad dash.

**Konoha – The Next day – main street – after Tsunade's test - **

The day was nice even if a bit lonely to Neji, he and his team were just back from a mission, while his female teammate was spending time with her boyfriend, the Hyuuga prodigy found himself walking aimlessly in the shopping district of the village having been abandoned by Lee and Gai as the two look alike started one of their absurd training regimen.

"May as well restock my equipment" Neji said to himself, he may use Juken primarily, but even a Hyuuga sometimes needs to throw a kunai or two to his enemy, and the rations too are not limitless after all.

"Good morning!" the clerk said as the pale-eyed boy entered the shop.

Unknown to Neji, a shadowy figure was hanging upside-down using a spiderweb, an hungry look in the white eyes of the mask that were the only thing visible in the shadows of the secondary street.

"Ufufufufu! Here it is our little fly" the figure muttered while blending with the darkness.

"Thank you for your help" Neji said as he exited the shop, a sealing scroll secured to his belt.

"Now...what should I do next?" he muttered to himself as the wind blowing through his long, brown hair, a shadow in the corner of his eye catching his attention

"Someone is following me?" Neji thought moving towards the training grounds, without activating his Byakugan he kept stealing furtive glances behind him, sometimes discreetly using the reflection of the windows to have a better view behind him

"So you are following my steps...let's see who you are" Neji thought changing his direction abruptly and moving towards a disused training ground he usually visited for meditation purposes.

**Konoha – Former Training ground 3 -**

The are was wide, surrounded by trees with few of them sprouting from the middle of the training ground as well, a little river adorned by rocks was in the far left side, everything was adorned by the knee-high grass left unruled and barely cured by the cleaning staff of the village.

"This seems a good spot...you can come out now, I know you were following me" Neji said calmly, it would be the first time that a fan-girl of his tried this tactic and he won't fall victim this time either.

As no answer came the Hyuuga prodigy finally activated his Bloodline, cursing himself for treating a possible kidnapping attempt for a fan-girl attack.

"WHERE ARE YOU? SHOW YOURSELF!" Neji yelled taking his Gentle Fist stance

"Behind you" a female voice whispered to his ear

"WHAT!?" as Neji rapidly spun on himself to face his assailant he came face-to-face with an upside-down Sakura covered in her black spider-suit

"Caught you!" She said happily letting her body falling down, acting quickly she started spinning around Neji while releasing her webbing, turning the boy into a small cocoon in an instant, letting out the Hyuuga's head that was now showing signs of being dizzy.

"Wha-what?" he asked again trying to suppress his spinning head

"Good day to you Neji-kun! Sorry the abrupt interruption to your day, but We need you for something Reeeeaaally important!" The pink girl chirped happily while lifting the still bounded boy

"What is all about?" Neji couldn't help but ask since he couldn't brake free

"We were hoping you would ask" Sakura said sultrily before spraying something to the boy's face, making him fall into unconsciousness.

"And with you, we reached two! TO OUR EVIL LAIR!" Sakura said drammatically pointing towards Konoha

**Some time later – Sakura's ****Hidden Lair of Doom ****- Secret Location **

Hanging from the ceiling, still tied up by the web-made cocoon, Neji finally woke up, looking around he could see that the room was dimly illuminated with the ceiling adorned by webs that were reaching the floor acting like drapes.

On the opposite side from were he was, he could see a nest made out of soft cushions surrounded by candles, giving it an eerie appearance at the same time enticing and fearsome.

"I see that you are awake, finally" a male voice said from Neji's left, it was Shino

"Shino? What are you doing here? What am _I_ doing here?" Neji asked while trying to break free

"I don't know what _You_ are doing here, I know that _MY_ girlfriend wanted to "spend time together" so I accepted eagerly the peculiar request of being her prey in this game of spider and fly...but you weren't included in the original setting" Shino said in his famous plain tone, but Neji could hear the distinctive annoyance, if not Anger, when talking about his presence

"I didn't wanted to interrupt you, I didn't even know that you two were dating" the Hyuuga boy said

"That's why I am courteously asking you to leave and stop bothering my girl as she already has me and there is not need of your presence here" Shino said managing to coat his plain tone with venom

"I didn't bothered her!" Neji said scoffing to the Aburame heir

"Good! Because between you and me it's obvious that she may prefer me at you, I am warning you so to prevent your heart from suffer from her refusing your affection once she choose me" Shino said glaring at the other from under his sunglasses

"What are you talking about?" Neji said feeling a little pang of anger at his insinuation

"I am only saying that between us two, I am the best candidate for Sakura-chan's hand" Shino said slipping into a slightly prideful tone before returning to his stoic demeanor

"Even IF I was even remotely interested in her...I am a Hyuuga, we are by definition the best boyfriend/girlfriend material, it's genetic" Neji said in pride

"I beg you to reconsider, knowing Sakura-chan, she will never be interested in a clan of pale-eyed effeminate men" Shino said

"As if she will like an emotionless thing like you! I bet that if you testicles ends up smashed under a rock you will barely twitch...and don't make me start on the insects" Neji shot back making several tick marks appear on Shino's head

"What are your problems about my insects?" the Aburame boy asked

"Women hate insects, a woman wants from her man class, elegance and good looks to accompany an acculturated background and good manners, not a boy that keep blathering about how the female lay the eggs!" Neji said in a smug tone

"I will never let her go...pale eyes" Shino said letting the anger taking the better of him and permitting an insult to leave his mouth

"BUGS FREAK!" Neji shot back in anger

"Boys, don't waste your energy, you'll need them" Came Sakura's sultry voice as she climbed down the wall, her dress shifting into a black, see-through negligee that was leaving absolute anything to the imagination, making clear one thing above all else.

She liked trimming and Pink was her natural colour.

"We bought you two here because apparently We need more than one mate to...Sate us, you are following?" she said as the quiet patting of her bare feet was echoing in the room, the flowing of her dress catching both boys attention.

"I get that Shino is not _man_ enough for you, but why me?" Neji asked, smirking at the soft growl he got from Shino at his jab

"Our poor little Bug is a good lover, but by living and training with our Brothers We ended up with a great Stamina that no-one, out of our very same brothers, was able to match, unless of course We start moving towards the older shinobi, but We like our man to be our age or only slightly older than us" Sakura said lying down on the cushions, her eyes _melting_ the boys as she started ogling them

"I get that the only solution for you then was looking for a second mate to _pick up_ the remains and finish the work, a mere tool to help you in your needs" Shino said launching HIS jab, secluding Neji as a mere _toy_ that will be accepted just as an implement, a gadget while HE was her lover.

"Not exactly, We are not so swallow to keep a man just for sex purposes, we want you both as equals in this little...Love Triangle, let's call it like that, both loved and cared for at the same time, with no favourites, after all, it's not only a MALE member of a clan that is able to have more than a mate, We can have all the Husbands we want, but up until now, you two are the ONLY ones that barely fits our HIGH standards" Sakura said moving up her dress a little

"I think I can accept that for the sake of your happiness, Sakura-chan" Shino said simply

"You want her to think that you are the good boy in this? I'll show you" Neji thought watching the slight grin on Shino's face

"Why not, after all, You said it yourself, you need a MAN to satisfy you, I'll be honored to be that man, Shino will gladly help in the HIGHLY unlike case I won't be enough, am I right?" Neji said smirking at the fuming Aburame

"We'll see" he muttered angrily

"Well-well-well, what do we have here?" Naruto's overly sweet voice echoed in the room, freezing solid the boy's blood

"Apparently two guys intended to fuck our sister...you two aren't planning to use it as a challenge to see who is the manlier of the two, didn't you?" Sasuke said appearing in the room as well

"O-O-Of course not! We wouldn't dare!" Neji said rapidly, a pair of Mangekyou Sharingan eyes and of slitted pupils fixing on him

"That's good, clan heirs' blood is SOO hard to clean away from the floor" Naruto said as his appearances kept getting wilder as the Kyuubi chakra was coming out of his body

"Come on Guys! Let Us play!" Sakura whined

"Fine! You two! IF she decide to have sex with you, then you better make a damn good job and satisfy her, if we have to permit to two pigs to touch her body then SHE must be happy too" Sasuke said as he and the blond started to cutting away the webbing from the two boys

"Forgive them, they are a little over-protective about us" Sakura said as the two brothers walk towards her

"Have fun, sis, we'll be in the kitchen if you need something" Sasuke said giving her a little peck on her lips

"If they treat you bad just call us, we'll take care of the rest" Naruto said doing the same

"Don't worry, we trust them" Sakura answered watching the two walking upstairs and leaving the room.

"Now that our brothers gave you their blessing, some preferences about who is the first?" Sakura said sultrily, making the last barrier between her naked body and the world disappear

"If I have to sayUUF!" Neji tried saying before Shino's elbow went slammed on his stomach, the Hyuuga watching the Aburame heir pouncing on the girl that giggled happily

"Eager are we?" she said smiling watching him undress

"Three years are too much" Shino simply muttered before attacking her lips with a fierce kiss

"What!? I won't be outdone! An Hyuuga clan man can't come second behind a lesser clan member! WE ARE THE MANLIEST OF THE MANLY MEN!" Neji said joining the two

**Seijin Clan House – Kitchen – in the meantime - **

"So Sakura found herself a second man? Impressive" Kakashi said from his reading

"Isn't Yugao against those books?" Sasuke said while massaging Haku's back, the girl moaning in bliss at his touch

"Not anymore since I took ideas for our _alone time_ from them" Kakashi said with an eye-smile

"Pervert, at least I know that she won't ask anymore sex from our boys, right Haku?" Tenten said while straddling Naruto's hips with her legs and making out with him

"Of course! That psycho will finally be out of our men's pants" Haku answered

"I was talking about Sakura, not Anko" the bun haired girl said

"Me too, for the snake bitch we'll need something else...like killing her" the Ice user said while still face-down on the couch.

"So we need to add Anko to the family?" Kakashi asked

"We are more like _friends with benefits_, but things may always evolve, we can't say about this" Naruto answered

"How's Zabuza going with Kurenai?" Sasuke asked

"Zabuza and Asuma are rivals now, there is not a single day that those two didn't start some sort of challenge for the right of dating her" Kakashi answered

"And Kurenai?" Naruto asked

"She seems to have a lot of fun, she even manage to suggest few trials without the two noticing she was the one to propose it" the scarecrow answered

**Konoha – _Scorching Fire _restaurant – outside tables**

The "Scorching Fire" was Famous in Konoha for their spicy recipes, they even had legends saying that their most _powerful_ plate was spicy enough to let whoever eat it see through Time, Space and the Universe as a whole, before going mad for the pain caused by said recipe.

So there was Zabuza wearing an headband with "Pain" written on it glaring to the man sitting at the opposite side of the table, Asuma, wearing an headband with "Sufferance" written on it.

"Are you ready to forfeit?" Zabuza said sweating profusely glaring at Asuma

"N-Never! Kurenai will be MY girlfriend!" Asuma said taking out of the jar in the middle of the table another chili pepper easily six inches long and biting it in half, his face turning beet red for an instant before swallowing it whole

"You fool! You will never defeat me!" Zabuza said taking TWO of them and shoving them down his throat, earning few gasps from the crowd watching

"How many of those have they eat?" a woman asked

"They are at the third jar, the owner made those two sign a wager in case they die" a man answered

"Y-you bastard!" Asuma said painfully eating another one, his eyes turning blood-shot

"A deep breath! GO!" Zabuza said eating a new one

"There is no other choice then...spirits of my ancestors, guide my hand!" Asuma said taking out Five peppers at the same time

"ARE YOU CRAZY!? This much will tear an hole in your stomach!" Zabuza said with wide eyes

"Everything for the woman I love!" Asuma said dramatically moving the chilli peppers near his mouth, a far-away rumbling noise interrupting him

"Oh God!" the chain smoker said clutching his stomach in pain and going on his knees

"Ah! This means that I woooooonUUURGH!" Zabuza said triumphantly before the same thundering noise erupted from his stomach as well

"Bathroom! BATHROOOOM!" Asuma yelled entering the restaurant

"Don't you dare! I need the bathroom more than you!" Zabuza yelled following him

"Aahahahaha!" Kurenai was instead laughing as the two desperately fought between themselves for the right to use the bathroom

"You are evil, Nai-chan" Anko said watching the scene

"If those two have to treat me like a trophy, then I'll be the one to choose _How _they can _win_ my affection" Kurenai said defiantly

"But still..." The Snake Mistress said

"You liked when I had them race through the village wearing a wedding dress" Kurenai said

"Culprit, can I chose the next challenge?" Anko said

"What do you have in mind?"

"It's about wearing a Tutu and the Inuzuka dog kernels"

"Tell me more about it" Kurenai said smirking as her best friend started telling, an evil smile appearing on her face.

**Konoha – Seijin Clan House – Two Hours Later - **

"How was it?" Naruto asked watching Sakura surface from her room in the basement

"We'll keep both, they seem good boys" Sakura answered

"And the sex?" Sasuke said joining the discussion

"When they work in tandem they are pretty good, but nothing beat you two" Sakura said grabbing Naruto and Sasuke's ear

"OUCH, OUCH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Naruto said as he and the Uchiha went dragged upstairs

"Stop fighting it! You two spoiled us and you are going to pay the price for it" She said tugging their ears strongly

"Yes, neechan" the two said following her

**Konoha – Seijin Clan House – Sakura's lair in the Basement - **

The two boys were still laying butt-naked on the cushion nest, a peaceful look on their faces clouded only by their tired eyes.

"Now I understand...why you won't leave her" Neji muttered from the cushions

"She is mine...you won't have her" Shino answered tiredly

"Maybe we should share...she may kill us if she focus only on one"

"It's an unacceptable proposition, but I agree that she is too much for one man" Shino admitted

"And the other two?" Neji asked

"Uzumaki stamina and a Biju for Naruro and a super training for Sasuke" Shino answered

"And for us?" Neji asked again

"We just bash in the afterglow" answered Shino finally fainting from the fatigue.

**End of the chapter, as you can see, I changed Naruto's sage mode, I don't liked the whole "Can't fuse because of the Kyuubi" so I modified it, the light side of being the Author, I can change whatever I don't like of the Canon stuff.**

**Review, favourite/follow if you like, I tried something different by focusing a great deal of the chapter with the fighting tell me if it was good or how to improve.**


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